No, you will be grateful to hear, I am not wittering on again about the world of professional and amateur 'luvvies'. The 'pros' and 'ams' I am concerned with today are the politicians and the one useful thing (so far) to emerge from this election campaign is that the Big Parties' boys 'n' girls may be fairly useless but compared to the Titchy Parties they are Titans of intellectual coherence.
I have already remarked on the Greenies' multiple train crash of a campaign launch. After that, anyone who votes Green should be led away to a secure unit and be detained for five years whilst they undergo an intensive course of Politics 101. Being as thick as a pile of planks they will be incapable of advancing further than level 101 but at least after five years they may, just, grasp some fundamentals.
Today we can all - well, excepting my e-pal, 'BOE', who has a severe sense of humour problem when the 'Kippers' trip over their shoe-laces - enjoy the sight of 'our Nige' desperately attempting to pirouette on the subject of immigration limits and controls. If it was all down to 'our Nige' he would carry it off with ease whilst holding a ciggie in one hand and a pint in the other. But of course, that's not the way British politics work. You have to take notice, or deal with, your own membership and for every 1,000 members you will have 1,500 opinions depending on what day it is and what is on the headlines! Between elections nobody minds the incoherence but as a general election looms ever closer then suddenly these ramshackle political parties are caught in the headlights. Embarrassing is hardly the word!
Before 'BOE' launches a missile at the so-called 'professional' parties let me admit that they, too, have their difficulties but, by and large, they manage (sometimes only just!) to sit on dissenters and stick to a party line. As a voter, you know you will not get everything you, personally, want, and neither will you get everything that the 'Big Party' concerned is promising. But, hey, that's politics and anyone who is "shocked, I tell you, shocked" should grow up!
What you will get from the 'Big Parties' is, by and large, coherence, or if you like, a general sense of direction. No-one can be in any doubt that Miliband has led his party Leftwards back into 1970s 'socialism' of the sort favoured by the late Michael Foot. If that 'presses your buttons' then so be it but of course you will not get everything he promises. Equally, no one will be surprised, assuming Cameron wins outright, that he will do everything to avoid leading the UK out of the European Union despite all his huffin' 'n' puffin' about taking a strong line. Even so, you will also know that the Conservative party will try to bring down taxes in line with reducing government spending.
To achieve this level of coherence requires great political skill. Active politicians with minds of their own and with local affairs snapping at their heels, need to be brought into line. All this takes time, application and intelligence. Similarly, the conflicting views of the general public need to be carefully analysed and the Party's policies adjusted accordingly. Of course, it can all be described as a mega 'duck and dive' exercise but it was ever thus. My point is that the 'Big Parties' can do it, they are the professionals; the titchy ones are useless amateurs which is why I suspect that their grand dreams for a breakthrough at the next election will dissolve after voting day.