Now, now, don't start popping the champers, I don't mean that I am giving up blogging, oh dear me, no, I'm much too much of an old bore to do that, all I mean is that I am giving up trying to be rude to people. Ever since I served my apprenticeship on various Trot-lot blogs years ago I developed what I think is a rather good, vicious, underhand line in how to insult people. But today, at Taki's Mag, I have met my match in Mr. Jim Goad who is Goad by name and exceedingly goading by nature!
Of course, by and large, being an old-school, British gent I tend to draw the line at bashing old ladies, or to be accurate, at least I try to raise my hat before doing so. But not Mr. Goad! He picks out a dear, sweet, old lady and proceeds immediately to unleash a bombardment of insults starting with his heading!
Riiiiiight, Mr.Goad, take it that you do not care for the lady overmuch! Well, if we were in doubt he soon settles the matter:
Geriatric whore Madonna, that Italian slut who sucked and fucked her way to the top of the pop charts sometime wayyyyy back in the early 1980s and has been pooping out hits ever since, fell flat on her 56-year-old ass last week during a performance at the Brit Music Awards. This rapidly led to several cruel variations of “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” jokes on social media.
Oh, come on, Mr. Goad, don't go all feeble on us, tell us the way it is:
After carefully adjusting her hearing aid, swallowing her water pills, fastening her colostomy bag, and arriving late for an interview on her Rascal Electrical Scooter, Madonna accused her tormentors of engaging in “ageism,” which she likened to racism and homophobia.
Oh my Gaaaaaaaard, as they say 'over there', I'm almost feeling a teensy-weensy bit of pity for Madonna even as she enters a plea in self defence against the excruciating attacks on her but Mr. Goad shows no mercy:
To be fair, the bloated, liver-spotted, stretched-out, rapidly dying hag has a point. The official rules dictate that we are no longer permitted to mock, discriminate against, or tell jokes about anyone due to their “innate” characteristics, with one stark exception—those who are advanced in years.
Pheeeeew, they really don't do subtlety 'over there' but at least you are in no doubt as to what they are thinking!