The 'Heffalump' is spot on: Once again I am obliged to Simon Heffer in The Telegraph for explaining the apparent madness of 'Jezza' and his Labour party. If you, like me, are bemused by what looks like its deliberate campaign to lose the local elections next week then the 'Heffalump' offers the obvious (when you think about it) reason - they don't care! You see, the majority of the membership are revolutionaries, so mere elections are nothing to them, they simply dream on the Coming of the Great Day when, armed with the modern equivalent of pitchforks, the masses arise and burn down parliament hopefully with most of its members locked inside! Well, what can one say except, perhaps, dream on!
Bill Cosby has Presidential competition: No, no, not in the business of groping ladies, poor old Barack wouldn't dare with Michelle glaring at him, not least, because she has the advantage of height, weight and reach! No, I mean in the business of telling jokes. I only saw excerpts of his annual speech yesterday at the annual White House Correspondents' dinner but for a change he delivered the speech rather well and the jokes were witty. Well done, Mr. President, but the exit's over there!
I couldn't have put it better myself: "England in effect is insular, she is maritime, she is linked through her interactions, her markets and her supply lines to the most diverse and often the most distant countries; she pursues essentially industrial and commercial activities, and only slight agricultural ones. She has, in all her doings, very marked and very original habits and traditions." Thus spake not Zarathustra but Charles de Gaulle in 1963 before he did us a favour by kicking our application to join the EU into the Channel. Merci, mon ami! VOTE LEAVE!
Vive la difference! I have just been sent some very profound thoughts on the differences between us and them, er, that's us chaps and you girlies. It is too long to print in full either now or in tomorrow's Monday Funnies but here are some particularly keen insights:
MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
Thanks, AussieD, you blokes 'down under there' are obviously natural born philosophers.
Sooner or later ya gotta start payin' the 'vig': How did ya - I mean, how did you - like my de Niro
accent? Oh, as good as that! Anyway, my American friends, that is one message you will not hear
from any candidate in your current election process, as Mr. Robert Tracinski reminds you all, over at
The Federalist. The amount of money you are borrowing year after year is growing astronomically
and, if the subject ever comes up, the politicians will shrug and say, in effect, we'll just borrow some
more. The main spender is your Social Security and Medicare which swallows humungous amounts
of money, all of which is borrowed. According to Mr. Tracinski, by the time your next president
comes to the end of his/her second term, the 'vig', the interest on your borrowings, will be the third
biggest item on your national budget.
More rumbles later . . .