Well, dear readers, you have waited patiently for it and at long last it is here - the fashion shoot of the year - and the word is "shoot", for goodness sake pay attention! Perhaps I should begin by paying homage to two ladies who inspired me to this 'fash'n-crash'n' enterprise. First, my very good e-pal, 'Sister Wolf' (aka 'Big Sis') whose site is frequently filled with mysteriously androgynous young men of great beauty. Well, I pouted, anything they can do, I can do better, as I think you will all agree when you see the photographic results. My second inspiration was my new Aussie e-pal, Andra, who was so smitten with my Long John fashion shoot that she sent me a beautiful Balinese sarong. I decided immediately that if I was to model this elegant garment it must be in the right setting and so I decided on Majorca. I think I can say with all due modesty that in this remarkable session, me and my team of top-class photographers, make-up artistes, dressers, security men, a pretty girl to dab the perspiration from my sun-bronzed body (what a job!), and, of course, the Memsahib my agent, have now done for the sarong what I did for Long Johns a couple of years ago. Need I say more?
However, before you view the results I must issue my government 'Elf 'n' Safety' warning, that is, if you are of the female persuasion please be seated with a stiff drink to hand because you could become over-excited and emotional.
Careful viewers of this first picture will instantly recognise a sub-text, as it were, to the 'dressage'. As a compliment to my kind friend Andra, who supplied the sarong, I have embellished it with an 'Aussie' look which I'm sure you will find rather refreshing. First, you can see that my straw hat has been carefully pinned up on one side to give that proper Aussie look. Also, you will note the vest which, alas, was not a string vest of the type that I am told is absolutely de rigueur for Aussie chaps to wear on all occasions (shirts being optional), but it was the nearest I could get to it.
Of course, the high, but snug, fit of the sarong under my armpits is deliberate because, as always in matters of fashion, it is essential to have 'A New Look'! Also, as my agent the Memsahib pointed out, it would hide what she calls my 'man boobs' - what can she mean? The pose is deliberate, too, aiming as it does to replicate that typically Aussie approach to any 'Pom' unfortunate enough to be in their way! The ankle-socks with sandals can only be described as simply too, too . . . By the way, any resemblance to Mr. Gumby is entirely coincidental:
Next, to show my incredible versatility I have given you what Arnie and I call my 'girly man' look. I thought this might catch the attention of 'Big Sis' who might then be tempted (how could she resist?) to publish it because I gather that sort of thing is highly favoured in certain parts of Southern California.
Next is a rather staid and conventional shot likely to appeal to those of a conservative bent in which the sarong is worn properly. However, you ladies should try and calm yourselves at the site of my naked chest!
Finally, I give you the Memsahib - no, honestly, she's all yours, absolutely no charge. She's not too bad for 94, is she? But why wouldn't she be after a lifetime of wedded bliss and tender, loving, care and attention from a slavishly devoted husband?
So there you have it, people. Get on to your brokers immediately and tell them to sell, sell, sell Long Johns and buy, buy, buy Sarongs. This picture shoot will move stomachs markets
Wow!
Quite an interesting 'chestal' area you have there - I'm jealous!
Posted by: Xopher | Tuesday, 07 June 2011 at 00:51
Well, at long last my dreams have been fulfilled... sort of.
The first one, the butch look, startled me and I thought I should worry about the state of British/Spanish relations if you were to spend too much time going around glaring at the locals like that.
The second shot, the insouciant, casual look is more to my liking. You are definitely heading towards the androgynous area, if not downright faggotism. Also a scary thought, come to think of it.
Maybe you should be careful about when and where you display this demeanour.
The bare-chested he-man photo by the pool is more like it. Pity you couldn't have sort of sucked your tummy in a bit and stood up straight. But at least your face is in shadow and I think that's probably a good thing.
Finally, the memsahib.... well, I'm not sure if she is really "yours" or you hired her for the photo-shoot. Either way, well done, Duff!
She certainly looks better in a sarong than you do.
All in all, I really do appreciate the effort you have gone to and the sarong beats the long-johns, no doubt about that.
It probably wasn't worth the wait though.
Posted by: Sassyandra | Tuesday, 07 June 2011 at 01:03
Honestly, there's no pleasing some women! Andra, I was sucking my tummy in!
'Xopher', your comment has me worried. If you are a lady does it mean that my boobs are bigger than yours? Anyway, welcome to D&N.
Posted by: David Duff | Tuesday, 07 June 2011 at 09:19
Thank god I roused myself out of my stupor to come here today. What a fantastic reward!
Duff, you couldn't look sexier. I will have to add you to my next string of hot men.
And the Mrs! Seriously, she is gorgeous. No wonder you protect her identity.
This is a beautiful testament to marriage, friendship, fashion, and silliness.
Posted by: Sister Wolf | Tuesday, 07 June 2011 at 21:35
"silliness". Yes, as always you choose exactly the right word, Sis.
Anyway, I hope it cheered you for a brief moment.
Posted by: David Duff | Tuesday, 07 June 2011 at 23:08
I love a man in a sarong!
Posted by: Jill | Thursday, 09 June 2011 at 14:51
Ma'am, you are obviously a lady of taste and discernment!
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 09 June 2011 at 17:50