This comes - no pun intended - under the heading of 'Only in Nigeria'. It is also a dire warning to all Muslim men that us 'Christian' chaps actually might have the right idea when it comes - seriously, no pun intended - to the number of wives we might, er, enjoy. On the face of it, having six wives seems to have some advantages when it comes to, er, Saturday night playtime, so to speak, because you have the chance to pick and choose. But that scenario also has its dangers, as poor old Uroko Onoja found out the hard way - no, I mean it, that really was no pun! - when, according to The Indian Express, he chose wife No. 6 for a Saturday night frolic. You see, he had not allowed for female ferocity when they find themselves slighted:
Uroko Onoja, a wealthy businessman, was having sex with his youngest wife when the other five women attacked him with knives and sticks, demanding that he have sex with all of them at once.
Onoja, who resisted their attack, was overpowered by the women who ordered that the sex march begin with the youngest wife and to continue in that order to the top, Nigeria's Daily reported.
Onoja stopped breathing when the fifth woman was making her way to the bed.
One's feelings are mixed. On the one hand a certain sympathy is called for in the light of his death, but on the other, considerable admiration is aroused by his plucky attempt to favour the other five. And of course, one can only mutter reverentially, "What a way to go!" I'm not sure if he will have qualified for the 76 virgins but one suspects that they are the very last thing poor old Uroko will want to see when he goes to heaven. In the meantime I trust the authorities in Nigeria will erect - look, I'm telling you for the last time - a suitable statue in his memory for truly he stands - oh, I give up - for the very best of Nigerian Manhood.
David. I am sure I could handle half a dozen women at a time. Just invite a mate in to help out while resting.
Posted by: Jimmy | Thursday, 26 July 2012 at 23:59
You are a sick man, Duff.
Posted by: Andra | Friday, 27 July 2012 at 00:08
Gosh 'n golly David, first time they've allowed me to type something on civilian email. But David, David it's serious.
Be a good fellow and find me an email address to the appropriate Ministry. I need to get one of your countryman's passport revoked while he's in your jurisdiction.
That's right --- your ol' pal Piers Morgan is back in the UK. Keep him - we've enough of media "personalities" here.
Oh. You can keep our politicians. They're even goofier in the UK. Less likely to do real harm though in your custody.
Posted by: JK | Friday, 27 July 2012 at 23:48
Jimmy, uou, of coruse, are a legend in you rown lifetime - let's hope you live longer than poor, old Uroku!
True, Andra - alas!
No, no, JK, Piers Morgan is a 'thank you' gift for all those food parcels you sent during the war!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 28 July 2012 at 15:25