Nothing like a nice rollick and being a thoroughly nasty old brute you will not be surprised to know that after irony it is Schadenfreude which makes me shiver with delight. I enjoy a double shiver when the object of my gloating is Nicholas William Peter Clegg, the leader of our infamous 'il-Lib-non-Dem' party. This party achieves the impossible by actually showing the other two sets of lying liars in a slightly more appealing light. Nobody, but nobody, does double-dealing humbuggery like Lib-Dems. I have written 'many a time and oft' on the man who very nearly beat 'Cleggers' to the leadership, the amazing Lesbian-straightener, Chris Huhne. I use the term 'straightener' with some unease because he is about as straight as a Somerset road, and indeed, this particular 'Right Honourable Gentleman' is going to be forced to explain his road behaviour in some detail to the 'Cocklecarrots' next September. The fact that 'Cleggers' actually out-manouvred the 'Lesbian-straightener' tells us all just how supple he is!
Thus, you can imagine my deep and abiding pleasure in watching this humbugging hypocrite receive a steady stream of slaps in the face whilst trying to ram through Parliament his self-serving proposals to reform the House of Lords. He stood there with his chubby cheeks quivering (no, the ones on his face, I wouldn't dare inspect the others), his upper lip well and truly stiffened (with super glue, I imagine) and his voice gradually sinking to an exhausted growl by the end of his constantly interrupted speech. This was not so much 'mob rule' as 'yob rule', as all those big Tory boys took the chance to put the boot in to the little lad, aided and abetted, in a sort of 'shall I hold your coat?' way by the 'proles' on the Labour benches. It was rude, it was crude, it was cruel - and, oh boy, how I loved it! It is quite clear that in political circles no-one likes the il-Lib-non-Dems, except 'The Graun' - and that tells you all you need to know about them.