Entirely by accident I found myself sitting in my armchair reading a copy of 'The History of Ancient Assyrian Culture', or, it could have been 'The Mathematical Structure of the Higgs Boson', it's not easy for me to tell the difference, when I happened to shift in my chair, as you do, and again, entirely by accident I sat on my mate Rupe's do-flicker-thingie which put the telly on automatically and guess what - it went straight to the channel showing the ladies' 'pat-a-ball-in-a-sand-pit' game. I was shocked, I tell you, shocked! They wear nothing but knickers and bras - and very, very brief ones, too! Even worse, every time they do something, I'm not quite clear what, they enter into a passionate embrace. I struggled to get out of my chair to switch it off but at my age it's not easy . . . at least, that's what I told the Memsahib when, with her usual mastery of timing, came in and caught me salivating watching. Naturally, I have written letters to the vicar and the Chairman of the BBC.
"Naturally, I have written letters to the vicar and the Chairman of the BBC." - as soon as the Memsahib goes away, you can quietly dispose of them, surely.
I might add that after the last heart-warming piece you have shown your cloven foot again, you old reprobate. Disappointing.
Just for purposes of consumer research, you understand - can one order these "do-flicker-thingies" on line, and how long would it take to get one?
Posted by: Whyaxye | Tuesday, 31 July 2012 at 19:20
Not telling you, so there, yah boo sucks!
Posted by: David Duff | Tuesday, 31 July 2012 at 19:51
You should read this, Duffers.
http://brontecapital.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/weekend-edition-car-dealers.html
Posted by: dearieme | Tuesday, 31 July 2012 at 20:56
So, who won?
Posted by: Andra | Wednesday, 01 August 2012 at 00:53
DM, the man's a pontificating pillock! The biggest liars in car showrooms are the punters who come in with their "one owner, low mileage, only driven by my grannie, as good as the day it was bought", piece of rusting shrapnel which they tell you is worth a fortune!
Who won? Eh? What? You mean it was a game? Cor, whodathunkit?!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 01 August 2012 at 09:03
Only once have we bought a new car. Sight unseen they'd offered ma a £25 trade-in on the old one. (This was in 1974.)
When I drove it in for them the salesman looked at it in horror and asked my beloved "Is there anything to be said for this vehicle, madam?"
"Well" she said "he's recently changed the plugs."
Posted by: dearieme | Wednesday, 01 August 2012 at 10:43
Oi, Duffers - we were chatting about US govt insanities, weren't we?
http://www.qando.net/?p=13480
Posted by: dearieme | Wednesday, 01 August 2012 at 15:51
Oh God, DM, that story just leaves you shaking your head in disbelief. And Obama tells small businessmen that they didn't build their companies, the government did. What an unutterable prick!
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 02 August 2012 at 09:36