It's getting to me. Inch by centimetre it's creeping over me. I fought it and fought it but still, inexorably, it is engulfing me. I am still struggling but only just . . . so please help. Oh, hell, I give up. I'll just spend the next nine days watching the Olympics like everyone else. A man has only so much disdain for all those 'hearties' and 'heartiettes' running, jumping, throwing things, pedaling and paddling, it is all so . . . damn silly! And yet . . . and yet . . . it's getting to me. That little Brit girlie will be granted the right to bear my babies if she wins the Heptathlon! And those two handsome lasses in their rowboat were simply splendid. I'm not quite so keen on the swimmers because they are in danger of showing up my own, ahem, swimming prowess. (By the way, have I mentioned I go swimming six mornings a week? Alright, alright, no need to be like that!) Anyway, suffice to say that they cover 800 metres in the time it takes me to reach the other end of the pool - at which point I usually have to ask one of the elderly ladies to help me out! However, there is one sport to which I am utterly resistant - judo. Not just because that nasty little thug, Putin, was in the crowd watching but because for the observer it is utterly tedious. Two opponents, pull, push, tug, kick, twist, turn, grapple and absolutely nothing happens. Then, one of them stumbles and falls and the other falls on top and they both wriggle around until the game is stopped and the commentator declares "Nippon Number One", or "All Blitiss Officers Will Work" or "Tora, Tora Tora", or something equally incomprehensible. It's a pity because I remember years ago taking 'SoD' (Son of Duff) to judo lessons every weekend and because they were learning I could see the skill in it. Unfortunately, at this level they are all as good as each other and every move is countered. Even so, alas, I think next week I will surrender to this particular bit of bread and circus tossed to me by my Dear Leader, not least because all the other TV channels have surrendered and are running nothing but repeats of repeats.