With apologies to Bert Bacharach, Lilly Rose Allen and Greg Kurstin, the creators of that splendid song Alfie because I have reproduced part of it here but replaced their hero's name with Georgie, as in Georgie Osborne, our none too bright Chancellor of the Exchequer
What's it all about, Georgie?
Is it just for the moment we live?
What's it all about when you sort it out, Georgie?
Are we meant to take more than we give
I ask the questions, Georgie, because I note that in July, a month in which the Exchequor is normally expected to be in surplus, you actually had to go out and borrowed a few quid, well, £600 mill to be exact, and I can't help wondering, Georgie, if you really have quite got a grip of things, I mean, one asks, and it hurts me to do it, but are you quite up to the job? Or, to put it another way, do you think you might be better employed doing your part-time job as (and I'm trying hard not to giggle here) 'political strategist' to the Tory party full-time rather than wasting half a day everyday pretending to be our Chancellor and losing my our money hand over fist?
Well, I will avoid an early death by not holding my breath waiting for an answer. It is now quite clear that Georgie and 'Dim Dave' have no coherent policy for steering us through these austere times not least because they have no knowledge or interest in economic philosophy and therefore no ideas beyond the commonplaces of second-raters like that old fool at the Bank, Sir Melvyn 'Plank', who advise them. Exactly how the coming crash will develop no one can be certain but one thing is dead sure, the future of the 'Stupid Party' is grim beyond belief. There are a variety of reasons why the Tories are known as the 'Stupid Party' but perhaps the most recent is the fact that they elected 'Dave' as their leader and also, perhaps, because they allowed themselves to be drawn into the viperish embrace of the 'Even Stupider Party', the il-Lib-non-Dems'.
'Dave 'n' George' between them seem to have set out deliberately, not just to upset their natural followers, but to actively attack them! High speed trains straight through the normally Tory-voting heartlands, wind turbines forced into beautiful countryside inhabited by Tory-voters, planning rules eased so that any get-rich-quick merchant can slap up makeshift houses for the untermenschen to live in even if it's the Tory-voting Home Counties, refusing even to consider leaving the EU, forcing the churches, which by and large are filled with Tories, to accept gay marriage . . . the list goes on. In fact as I write this I am trying to think of a single idea that they have produced and which I can support wholeheartedly.
So, the chances are, given the extreme unlikelihood of Tory MPs giving the pair of them the boot, that the Tories will lose the next election which means that we will have 'Edenoidal Ed' Milliband as prime minister and 'ur wee Gordie's' very own, personally-trained Big Spender, Ed 'Testicles', as Chancellor. That could well occur just as the final ramparts of the European dis-Union are crashing all around us and, be honest, if you look long and hard at 'Edenoidal Ed', does he give you a warm feeling of confidence? Take that as a 'no', shall I?
My prognosis? I think it's probably very gloomy if only I could see through all that fog. Or, to put it another way, life's a bitch and then it rains!