The Sunday Rumble 23.09.12

He opened his mouth and let his belly rumble:  Thus spake, not Zarathustra, but that bumptious little twat, Andrew Mitchell MP.  In his, by now, infamous, foul-mouthed rant against sundry members of the Plod whose particular duty at the end of Downing Street is to protect the lives of Mr. Mitchell and his ilk even to the point of giving up their own lives to do so, he inadvertently confirmed what many of us had suspected that, despite an education so expensive that it could have kept several dozen immigrant families on welfare for life, he is, himself, as thick as a plank.  To mouth off at length and at considerable volume at the end of Downing Street, an area only exceeded in its density of hacks by the nearest Westminster pub, was as stupid as shovelling shed-loads of tax-payers' dosh (or my dosh, as I fondly think of it) as aid payments to their poor and destitute to places like India where they are busy building their first nuclear bomb.  This he did with considerable vigour and actually had the brass nerve to boast of it!  It seems to me that with him and Dave and George as examples, one must fervently support the return of Grammar Schools, not just to rescue the, er, "plebs" from the wasteland of Comprehensive Schools, but also the gentry from their obviously rotten but expensive Public Schools where they appear to learn nothing.

When I take over American foreign policy from 'HillBilly':  I may well shoot myself!  Conducting the foreign policy of a great power is the nearest you will ever get to playing three dimensional chess against a quantum computer - and if that isn't random enough you can throw in a large dollop of human nature, too.  It is, of course, tremendously easy to criticise Secretaries of State - which is why I do it so frequently - and it is even easier to do so after the events with which they have had to struggle.  At the moment no one knows who will be conducting American foreign policy over the next four years but who ever it is, he or she has my sympathy.  To take but one area of massive complexity and huge danger, consider the Pacific rim in general and the South China Sea in particular.  Chinese determination to claim sovereign ownership of various, mostly uninhabited islands, has already begun to provoke hostility and fear amongst its neighbours.  A new Chinese leadership is about to take over and they are all too well aware that pride, perhaps over-weening pride, has been aroused in the Chinese population which expects its government to do whatever it takes to enforce China's claims.  However, the government is also well aware that the Chinese people are rapidly approaching hard times.  The fantastic rush to riches of the past 20 years is coming to a halt.  In the old days, dirt poor peasants just did what they were told but there is no one more furious than a newly-enriched bourgeois suddenly facing impoverishment.  America, of course, will be watched and judged by the smaller nations of the Pacific rim as to how it faces up, or faces down, Chinese ambitions.

This man is thick enough to be a politician:  I give you what's left of Mr. David Villalobotomy, ooops, sorry Mr. Villalobos, a man who just loves pussy - look, I do the jokes round here so stop sniggering! - in particular he loved this one:

In fact, he loved it so much that, in his own words, "he wanted to be one with the tiger" and so, as reported by AP, he jumped into the tiger compound in the Bronx Zoo.  Yeeeeeees, quite!  Fortunately he was enabled to escape by the prompt action of the keepers and, in the circs, his injuries are fairly light.  I wonder if this prat man has ever considered a career in politics?  With his survival skills he'd slaughter them in the Senate!

Comments

[dearieme]

It's always a comfort to know that American foreign policy is in the hands of a man who was elected on the grounds that he's the first presentable black US politician there's ever been (I summarise the argument of Mr Biden), and a woman who was appointed by virtue of being the wife of old semen stain himself.

[David Duff]

DM, you have such a way with words!

[rogerh]

So would policy thought up by an intellectual be a good idea? Are (lots of) brains an asset to a politician? History suggests not. Are successful Presidents and Prime Ministers mere front-persons, no, their defining attribute is 'character' I reckon. No character = no good.

[David Duff]

We're on the trickiest of tricky ground here, Roger, the sort that begins with "it all depends on what you mean by ...". I have a busy morning ahead of me but I think I will post on the subject a bit later.