Will the Dave 'n' Nick review close early?

'No' is the short answer because there is no superglue stronger than the adhesive which holds politicians to their Whitehall chairs.  The Tory Right-wing might be 'going off on one' now but the difference between moaning and murdering (metaphorically, of course) is huge, and as the next election looms over the scene then self-interest will dictate that they keep their mouths shut.  As for the il-Lib-non-Dems, they will, at the next election, be slaughtered wholesale and thus return to their rightful status as a three or four man redundent rump of a party - and good riddance, say I!

The interesting question is which party is likely to benefit from their demise?  There are a considerable number of their seats in the rural south west, where I live, and you would suppose that the Tories will be a shoo-in.  However, you are forgetting 'Dim Dave's almost Olympian accuracy when it come to self-inflicted foot-shooting!  According to the prints, one of his main plans to revitalise the economy (do stop giggling!) is to break down planning regulations which protect the Green Belt thus allowing property companies to build on hitherto restricted land.  That will upset rural, and mainly Tory, voters like nothing else, particularly if the National Trust, their latter-day equivalent to the Church of England, starts a screaming campaign to protect our countryside.  No doubt the outraged Tories in the south west will join hands with those in the Chilterns about to have a high-speed train to nowhere rammed through their peaceful countryside.  (I say "nowhere" because, of course, it leads to Manchester, a Labour city, and you cannot get more 'nowhere' than there!)  So, the plan is - to upset Tory voters!  Well done, Dave, that's really good, original thinking.

Of course, one wonders who will buy all these brand new houses that will erupt like a rash across 'our green and pleasant land'?  No-one knows but to help matters along, 'Dave' has yet another 'cunning plan', he will use your money and mine to guarantee loans to new buyers so that they, in turn, can hand over the dosh to the eagerly awaiting property developers.  I hope they are contributing their dues into Tory party funds, Dave!

Anyone hoping that Labour will step up to the mark with a well-honed plan needs their bumps felt!  According to Andrew Pierce in The Mail, 'Edenoidal Ed' and 'Testicles' are at daggers drawn:

Senior party figures are talking openly about a potentially catastrophic replay of the dysfunctional relationship between Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. Some shadow cabinet ministers fear it could be even worse.

The prospect is remarkable given both men had grandstand views of the feud between Blair and Brown, and know how damaging it was to the Party. But the poisonous history between the Eds goes back to the early days of the Blair era, when they were youthful advisers to Mr Brown after he became shadow chancellor in 1994 and then Chancellor in 1997. 

Ever eager to be of assistance to the Labour party,allow me, Gentlemen, to hold your coats whilst you set to.  In the meantime, as I forlornly view the political wasteland about me and the collection of down-and-out deadbeats who scrounge a living off it (and me) I can only quote those famous words of that splendid English gent, Mr. Terry Thomas: "What an absolute shower!"

Comments

[dearieme]

Remind me; which one was it who dressed up as a Nazi?

[David Duff]

You're a very, very naughty boy, DM, you know that was just a post-modernist joke!

[A K Haart]

"Some shadow cabinet ministers fear it could be even worse."

Some? Only some?

It's enough to drive a chap to drink. Speaking of which...

[Andra]

They remind me of Bill and Ben, the Flowerpot men.
And where's Weed when you need him?