Dammit, we can't let the Frogs out art us!

I am grateful, I think, to 'SoD' (Son of Duff) for bringing this to my attention.  It is a statue of Zinedine Zidane, the former captain of the French footie team who, in a famous, or infamous, if you like, incident in the 2006 World Cup Final nutted an Italian defender and was sent off.  The French went on to lose the match on penalties.

The statue has been placed in the grounds of the Pompidou Centre in Paris, a sort of post-modernist depositary for artistic rubbish, much like the Tate Modern in London.  'SoD' has proposed that we should out do the Frogs by erecting a statue of John Terry, a man who has succeeded in being sacked as the England captain not once but twice due to his inability, despite his millions, to rise above the behaviour of a council estate yob.

As a refinement, if that is quite the word, the statue would have an in-built sound system which would broadcast a shortened version of Mr. Terry's latest outburst but leave you, the onlooker, to fill in the blank at the end:

Oi, you! Why don't you fuck off, you black ****

The only question is, where should it be placed?  Outside the Race Relations Board, perhaps?  Nothing like inter-active art - such fun!

 

Comments

[Lawrence Duff]

Hehehe, that really has brightened up a gloomy Monday.

SoD

[Whyaxye]

An excellent idea from SoD, stylishly presented by Duff the Elder.

It really should not be too difficult to be more vulgar and moronic than the French, though. In case the Arts Council turn your proposal down on a technicality, could I suggest an alternative?

Paul Gascoigne, drunkenly offering murderer Raoul Moat a takeaway and a fishing rod, so that they could enjoy an evening's manly pastimes together, rather than all that nasty arrest and justice palaver.

[Andra]

There was a very nasty incident in Australia a few years ago, during a rugby game, when a big fat man from one side jammed a finger up the, ahem, backside, of a big fat man from the opposing side, during one of their scrum things. A scrum seems to be when all the big fat men from one side jump on all the big fat men of the other side.
I don't know why!
Anyway, apparently it's not considered good form to do the digit insertion thing and cross words were exchanged.
I have no idea what happened after that.
Does that lift the tone at all?
Rugby, of any sort, is not one of my passions.
Now, Aussie rules.... there's a game.

[David Duff]

But ... but ... I thought sticking your finger up your opponent's bum was Aussie rules ... for any game!

[dearieme]

A favourite old after-match song begins:

"Oh I stuck my finger up a woodpecker's hole
And the woodpecker cried "God bless my soul"
Take it away, take it away, take it away,
Remove it."

Bellowed to the tune of "Dixie".

[Andra]

Ah, the woodpecker song.
I know many, many choruses.
Somebody should revive it.
"Oh, I removed my finger from the woodpecker's hole and
the woodpecker said, "Well, bless my soul, put it back,
put it back, put it back .... replace it!"
Etc.
Everybody sing now.....

[Jimmy Glesga]

An old Darkie song from the plebeians. Down in Alabama where Darkies shovel coal a Darkie shoved a shovel up another Darkies hole. They sent for the doctor the doctor did not come so the Darkie shoved his shovel up another Darkies hole.
Early sixties I recall David.

[David Duff]

What the hell's going on?! I leave you all alone for a day and come back to find the place sounding like a pub on Saturday night with all this singing - and that's after my valiant effort to raise the intellectual standard around here by a high-minded discussion on God. Honestly, I give up on you lot . . . !

[Andra]

Well, that's gratitude for you!
And after all the trouble we all went to trying to brighten up this dreary affair!