What a very odd ceremony the presidental inaugeration has become. It strives, quite rightly, to become a piece of serious political theatre but then manages to turn the whole thing into a Neil Simon comedy! Perhaps the funniest 'gag' was some shrieking diva called Beyonce who slaughtereed the national anthem, not inadvertantly due to nerves, but deliberately by having recorded it earlier and then 'lip-syncing' it before an audience of the Great and the Good - and the not-so-good - according to thelavalizard.com who told us:
Standing less than three feet away from the newly reelected President Barack Obama, Beyonce pretended to be singing live as she shamelessly basked in the glory of her crazed fans who praised her for her so called “flawless” vocals. Meanwhile, Obama’s mother-in-law looked visibly upset, probably because she isn’t a fan of silent comedy.
There then followed a magisterial procession of, well, Secret Servicemen, actually. Dozens of them, hundreds possibly, all marching steadily along with narrowed eyes, their top coats carefully unbuttoned so they could reach those nasty, horrid gun-thingies that kill little kiddie-winkies and should be banned except that Obama and his missus want to live, all of them desperately trying to look like Clint Eastwood. They were preceded by a phalanx of what looked like several thousand motor-cycle cops which must have made it a Whoopie Day for any speeders on the motorways around Washington. They were followed by an enormous fleet of cars - all big, all black, all anonymous except that they all screamed just one word - 'Government!' Of Mr. and Mrs.' O' there was no sign which was, as they say 'over there', tough tittie for all those suckers folks who had spent fortunes and wasted hours if not days trying to get there for a view of 'The One'. Eventually the cavalcade stopped and the doors to a limo opened and out stepped the POTUS and his missus, the FOTUS. Graciously, they walked about a hundred yards to prove they really were there and hadn't sneaked back to the White House for a quiet G&T before facing what was obviously scheduled to be a ghastly evening.
You see, they knew what others did not, that a certain Ms. Jennifer Jones - no, me neither - was scheduled to sing the song that would accompany the POTUS and the FOTUS as they took to the floor for the first dance of the Presidential Ball. Judged by the report in thelavalizard.com there should be a law rushed through Congress against cruelty to songs:
Speaking of unbridled yelling, Jennifer Hudson proved that nobody can do as far over the top as her this evening at the Commander-In-Chief’s Ball. The big-mouther singer was given the chance to serenade newly reelected US President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama but completely ruined the moment with her wails.
Hudson was loud and obnoxious as she bellowed Al Green’s “Let Stay Together”. Honestly, she clearly forget how to use her indoor voice as she tackled the Obama’s favourite song as though she was charging for the last whole wheat bun at Subway. You know, because she’s on a diet.
If you are of the 'Max Mosely Tendency' then feel free to visit the 'Lava Lizard' site and listen to it but this blog holds no responsibility for your ear drums. Finally, of course, we come to the star of these peculiar American celebrations - Lady Gaga! Words fail me so instead here is a picture:
And, yes, those really are gun-thingies on her tits! Is this really what entertains them in The White House? Incidentally, in the linked piece below from The Independent (the favourite reading of my e-pal 'Dearieme'!) someone called Nick Hasted gave her 'performance-lite' a truly tremulous, gushing review.Perhaps they should rename him 'Nick Hasty'! I trust it resulted in a Bill Deedes-style response: Surely shome mishtake here: Ed.