Now look, before I go any further I want you lot to reralise that this is a serious post and I don't want any giggling, sniggering or jokes about 'waiter, there's a tit in my soup' - geddit?! Also, this post is my way of offering thanks to my e-pal and longterm Commenter, 'Jock McDearieme', who contributes so much to this blog in his famously, er, pithy style! Anyway, I bring glad tidings for him and for you via the SunSentinel of South Florida that the very latest for sophisticated diners in the USA are 'Breastaurants' and even as I write a new chain is opening - The Tilted Kilt. Here in this photo are who I believe to be the Head Waiter and the Sommelier:
Jokes like 'I wanna pop your cork, baby', or, 'is the breast of chicken smooth and firm' are definitely not permitted. These very nice gals take their jobs seriously, as does their boss, the very suitably named Mr. Sloboda:
Breastaurants don't hire their employees, they audition and cast them, said Joe Sloboda, a restaurateur behind the upcoming Twin Peaks South Florida franchise.
"We want to make sure people on our team will fit the role, with the right personality, the right skill-set," he said. For example, the Tilted Kilt announced it will hold "casting calls," this weekend from 12-5 p.m. for "all roles".
Well, darlings, I think I'll withdraw my earlier offer to go and help torture prisoners in Gitmo and instead volunteer my considerable theatrical skills to Mr. Sloboda to help him judge the talent, as it were. I think, in a very real sense, my sweets, he needs me! He also runs a chain of Breastaurants called Twin Peaks. With that sort of sophisticated wit he should return my favour and write some of this blog!