Your Monday Funny: 18.02.13

This one came from Andra (I think) and it received an accolade of seven 'ha-has' from 'Big Sis' - a stern critic!

A woman meets a man in a bar.  They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place and as he shows her around his apartment she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by
the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an
obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears but she is quite impressed by his sensitive side but doesn't mention this to him.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and after a while, she finds herself
thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future
father of my children?'

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.

The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, 'Well, how was it?'

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes and says:
'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'.

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And this one, from Andra again, had me weeping with laughter:

 

 

'Hello?'

'Hi, honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'

'No, Daddy.  She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'

 
After a brief pause, Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.' 

'Oh, yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.' 

   

Brief Pause. 



'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.  Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.' 
   
'Okay, Daddy, just a minute.' 

  

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. 

'I did it, Daddy.' 


'And what happened, honey?' 


'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran
around screaming.    

Then, she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't
moving at all!' 


'Oh, my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?' 


'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.  He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.  But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it.  He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'


   

Long Pause 

  



Longer Pause 

   



Even Longer Pause 







Then Daddy says, 'Swimming pool? ........... 




Is this 486-5731?'

 

 

 

Comments

[Andra]

Of course that joke came from me. Credit where credit's due, Duffster!
And no more of that "The cheque's in the mail" crap, either.

[David Duff]

But ... but ... Andra, that's my motto!