Where do they come from? Is there a factory somewhere, like that one in California that churns out identical, long-legged blondes wearing shorts and roller-skates, but which in this case produces an endless line of fat, smug, dim and utterly useless Tory members of parliament? In this case, the total tit I have in mind is Robert Buckland MP and if you doubt my description allow me to offer in supporting evidence that he is a former barrister and judge!
Today he has announced that later in the year the government will introduce a new law in which any parent or carer will be banged up for not being nice to their 'likkle kiddie-winkies'! He does this in the full knowledge that between them the hugely expensive police and social services are so useless, as ex post facto report, after report, after report, confirms, that they can't even stop parents killing their kids! Now it will be a crime not to love the little sods! And what, I wonder, will constitute failure to love your 'likkle kiddie-winkies'? Not buying them the latest e-game? Failing to let them to stay up late and watch the 'footie'? Insisting under threat of punishment that they tidy the rubbish tip that constitutes their bedroom? Giving them an A1 bollocking for a dismal school report which, between the lines, confirms your long-held suspicion that the little toe-rag is an infernal nuisance?
Would it be cruel and unloving of me to suspect, just a teensy-weensy bit, that ex-barrister Buckland, who might well be ex-MP Buckland next year, can foresee a very lucrative line of business in this new legislation? Or is it merely the first steps towards yet more legislation in the future insisting that we love our members of parliament - or else?! Well, Mr. Buckland has already undertaken his first act of cruelty to children by having two of his own. No child should have to grow up with such a total tit of a father!
I appeal to the people of Swindon, I don't care if you elect some mouth-foaming Marxist next year but just be cruel to be kind and get rid of this twerp!