It has been a closely fought competition amongst the many teachers attempting to win the prestigious D&N Teacher of the Year award. It looked as though the rather attractive lady teacher who was reported recently as having seduced one of her teenage boy students was going to be a sure-fire winner. Well, the young man concerned probably received one of the very best, er, hands-on, practical biology lessons he is ever likely to have. It certainly exceeded anything I ever experienced with the late Miss Murdoch, a confirmed spinster of the parish, whose ample girth, I am relieved to report, remainded forever locked securely inside the stoutest of tweed suits. Rumours that she actually slept in her tweeds were neither confirmed nor disproven! Also, in light of, er, further biological investigations later in my life, I cannot help but think that her lessons on the mating proclivities of frogs were not enormously helpful!
Anyway, today I read of a late entry to the competition in the form of a Spanish lady teacher by the name of Ms. Priscilla Davo Ortego. (I must await confirmation from my regular commenter, Ortego, that she is no relation!) She is certainly a very attractive lady but more than that she is obviously an excellent teacher.
According to The Mail, Ms. Ortega was faced with an unruly bunch of little tread heads a noisy group of little 'kiddie-winkies' who refused to remain silent during one of her music lessons. Without hesitation, Ms. Ortega whipped out a roll of Sellotape and slapped it across the mouths of the little gob shites the naughty little 'kiddie-winkies'. Of course, she would have won the even more prestigious Teacher of the Decade award had she Sellotaped their hands behind their backs, hooded them and threatened to shoot one in three para animar a otros which I am informed by trusty Google Translate means pour encourager les autres - and if you don't know what that means either then you will report to the Headmaster's room immediately for really severe punishment!