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Monday, 30 June 2014

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Full Of Shit can make it halfway around the globe before the Facts Of The Matter has a chance to "take up the poke salet in enjoyament just after a hellacious Knight-Watching."

Sam Clemons

Are you sure you have the right quote there, JK?

I think Mark Twain is lost in the Ozarks!

On the pregnant women, male sensitivity is efficient if nothing else. We appreciate the togetherness of it all in this circumstance.
I suspect, to most women, it is just part of our charm.

Exactly, Whitewall, that's how I like to think of it!

Are you often wrong, Mr. Whitewall?

Pause and reflect before you reply, Whitewall, old chap!

Pausing....Andra, I know a minefield when I see one. I shall now engage in husbandly doublespeak...When SWMBO is in the room, I am wrong an uncanny amount of time about nearly everything. When she exits the room, I make a remarkable recovery. My talent regarding relationships ebbs and flows.

Pheeeew! Couldn't have put it better myself, Whitewall. Even so, keep an eye open for incoming boomerangs - JK took a few hits once and has never been the same since!

David, thanks for the warning. I wondered what went wrong with JK. In the meantime I might adopt a clever disguise.

Hey, don't blame me for JK.
He's been to Tasmania and that bodes no good for man or beast. Look what happened to the Tasmanian Tiger, not to mention what's going on right now with the Tasmanian Devils.
JK is considered a city slicker in Tasmania.
They warned their young women about him, but it was too late!

There is no Australian Rules Football team in Tasmania for the National competition as the research shows that it would go broke as the whole population would get in on the one family ticket.

The old saying that "two heads are better than one" originated there from simple observation of individuals in the populace.

They warned their young women about him, but it was too late!

That's a shame they are long overdue for some genetic modification down there.

AussieD, you're right, of course.

JK may well have done some good for the genetic makeup of Tasmania but, alas, as the great Scottish bard once proclaimed, “The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men gang aft agley" and they certainly ganged agley for the virile young bloke from Arkansas.

It's a sad tale and there's no happy ending. JK was forced to beat a rather hasty retreat back to the Black Hills with nothing for company but his old grand-daddy's trusty still and his well-stacked gun-rack.

The dynamite came later and that's another story altogether.

Tasmania? I've never been but it sounds like some genetic challenges may be present just like Appalachia and the Ozarks of the US. Would it be fair to say that the island's "family tree" rises a long way before it branches?

Well.

Lemme just say before this gets outta hand, there're certain places all over the world, generally in the "nooks and crannies" which, look to a hillbilly as simply one big family reunion.

An' y'all know what is said about hillbillies an' family reunions?

Take pity on a poor feller, I'd been at sea quite a spell (before I'd add, women were allowed on warships) and besides, I was representing my Country.

How was I to know it was supposed to be the whole Country rather than just Arkansas?

&.

Why is nothing ever mentioned about Iceland?

Not that we need mention or reply onit anywise.

Only to maybe mention, in terms of me "representin' my Country" I shoulda been awarded the MOF!

Don't anyone ask what the "MOF" is!

I won't. Only to assume JK, in representing his country, rose to the occasion in doing so.

Well.

Far as I was aware at the time, I was under the impression I could be charged (possibly court-martialed) for a UCMJ Article 87 “Missing Movement” violation. I weren’t no JAG, I was a Electronics Warfare guy. As I understood it, movement was movement and further there was, right in the definition the term “unit” which owing to an earlier adventure in the vicinity of Coronado I’d been given to “take to heart” an explicit warning that should I find myself again teamed to a single woman toward any purpose that constituted a “unit.”

For my “convenience” a lady Cdr wrote on a index card the particulars I was to heed, “If a person is ordered to move as a unit, the mode of travel is not important. A unit is not limited in mission, and includes units which are created before the movement with the intention that they have organizational continuity upon arrival, even units intended to be disbanded upon arrival. Failure to move Mister with the unit - however the unit is composed (the lady Cdr helpfully underlined from where y’all see the hyphen) … also her writing got kinda enlarged after “composed” so all that was left far as room to write was concerned left only room enough for a capitalized, MEANS TROUBLE!!!

“Means Trouble!!!” was also underlined. Twice.

I still have that card.

Not for the first time I find myself confused. All this stuff about "missing movement" and a "single woman"; am I to assume, JK, that you used the old line about 'if you let me put it in I promise not to move' - and then broke your word to the lady - you dirty love rat, you! Sailors - heh!

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