Bad news, worse news and worserer news: I'll take them in order. The "bad news" is that God, or Donald Trump (if you can tell them apart), has fiddled with the clocks again so that I am an hour behind the times. Why do they do that? I don't mind when it gives me an extra hour in bed but this time I lost an hour which leads me to the "worse news" which is that I missed half the commentary on the Australian Grand Prix because the bloody-bloody clock was wrong! Of course, it hardly needs explaining but the "worserer news" is that that fine, pukka, British gent, Lewis Hamilton, was beaten into second place by a damned Hun! I think I'll go back to bed!
But here's some good news: With enormous courage and stamina I have beaten off that vicious attack of 'Man-flu' with which I was suffering - and, boy, I do mean suffering! - earlier in the week. God I'm good!
So, just another druggie yob, then: Everybody was, er, 'shocked, I tell you, shocked' when that low-life loon attacked people in Westminster and killed a policeman. It's another dastardly, clever ISIS plot, the prints all screamed. Nah! He was just another inadequate, pathetic psycho with a taste for drugs, as Peter Hitchens points out in The Mail. Do give him a read and calm down, dears!
Is nothing sacred anymore? You will not be surprised to learn - yet again - that I am shocked, I tell you, shocked! Some 'pint-puller', well, he calls himself a 'mixologist' - yeeeees, quite! - has seriously suggested that a drop of olive oil should be added to the ingredients of a dry martini in order to enhance its flavour. According to The Mail:
Davide Gagliazzo, bar manager of Gordon Ramsay’s Union Street Cafe in Southwark, South London, said: ‘I think Bond would love it. Olive oil enriches the drink – it gives it a silky texture and complexity.’
On second thoughts, perhaps I shouldn't be too dismissive. It was a London bartender who told me that I should always give the inside of the martini glass a quick wipe with the sliver of lemon (which I prefer to an olive) in order to spread the flavour. Anyway, I hope for his sake that 007 is not displeased - could be messy!
Don'cha just lurve this internet-thingie? Yes of course you do otherwise you wouldn't be wasting your time reading D&N! What I like is that you can pick at a thread, give it a tug and suddenly you are onto all sorts of other threads. Just now (via A&L Daily), I came across a review of a recently published biography of one of my favourite people, Machiavelli. I like him because he is one of the very few philosophers who make me laugh out loud - the Aussie, David Stove, is another one. Anyway, A&L Daily pointed me to a review by Terry Eagleton of a Machiavelli biography. Now, he has been around the edge of my consciousness (if you can call it that) for ages and I have rather dismissed him as just another Left-wing intellectual prat, er, without actually reading anything he wrote, natch! Anyway, his review was sharp and witty and that was enough for me to check his Wiki entry and that, in turn, led me into some of the bar-room brawls, ooops, sorry, I mean intellectual disagreements he has had with all sorts of people. There's nobody like high-minded intellectuals for producing copious amounts of blood, er, theoretical blood, of course!
It's the 'Don't Knows' wot'll win it: Reports indicate that the French centrist bloc is getting its act together now that the former front-runner, Fillon, has been caught out with his hand in the till. All 'les movers and shakers' (Damn, my French is good!) are coalescing behind Macron, a typical establishment 'man for all seasons'. The socialists have the French equivalent of 'Jezza' for a candidate so they're nowhere. Thus everything and everyone is combining with but a single aim - stop le Pen! Will they succeed? (French shrug), it all depends on the enormous number of 'Don't Knows'!
No more rumbles today