Now, before I begin, Gentlemen, I want you to cross your legs and 'man-up'! This is a tricky story to tell, in fact, you might call it a 'tricky dicky' story! It concerns Mr. oooops, sorry, Miss - or should that be Ms? - Bruce, or Caitlyn, you choose - Jenner. He - or she - is a true man, or woman, of our age! (Now look, I did warn you this would be complicated so just concentrate!)
Let me start at the beginning which is always a useful place to start, I find. Mr. Bruce Jenner was a true He-man of all He-men and has a medal to prove it because he won the men's decathlon at the Olympics in 1976 and the decathlon, 'as any fule do no', is the greatest of all athletic tests. He then, quite reasonably, went on to wring as much dosh as he could from his celebrity status and the fact that he was dead handsome helped enormously. Also, he went on over the next few years to marry three gorgeous ladies by whom he produced a plethora of children. Boy, what a man, er, well, sort of!
However, a few decades later - now how can I put this delicately? - he began to doubt himself and became convinced that beneath all those muscles and despite all that testosterone hurtling round his body, he was really a lady - yeeeeeeees, quite! Anyway, soon after a change came over him, or her:
Well, each to his own and I suppose it's quite nice when gentlemen give up their seats to you in a crowded train. However, whilst the 'upper works', so to speak, were fairly easily obtained courtesy, no doubt, of 'Big Pharma', there was always the irritation of that 'appendage-thingie'! It posed a real problem, particularly, I suppose, if it became over-excited. Anyway, that is now no longer a problem for a real He-man - ooops, sorry but you know what I mean! - like good ol' Bruce, dammit, I mean Caitlyn. He, sorry, I mean she, has now undergone 'the unkindest cut of all' and the appendage is no more! Such a relief for all concerned.
And yes, you are quite right, it's a funny old world!