I really do like France. I have some splendid memories of numerous visits to a whole variety of different locations 'just over there'. Yes, from time to time historically they have 'kicked off on one' but then that is true of most European nations who, unlike us, have to exist cheek by jowl with their equally unpredictable neighbours. Yet again I fall to my knees and offer up a prayer of thankfulness for that utterly invaluable 23-mile channel that just keeps us separate.
So, in the next few weeks, 'la France' faces an exceedingly tricky decision as to which of the unimpressive presidential candidates they will choose to run them for the next seven years. I gather, because my expertise is exceedingly limited, that the 'Lefty' candidate makes 'Jezza' look rather statesman-like. The 'Conservative' is a proven conman who helped himself to government expenses which he had not earned, I mean to say, you wouldn't find decent British Tory MPs doing that sort of thing - ooops, just remembered - right, well, moving on - the fact is that he doesn't stand a chance of winning. That leaves a sort of political robot called Macron, assembled, as I understand it, in the garage of some previous French presidents aided by some senior bureaucrats. The fact that no-one knows anything about him is reckoned to be invaluable in the polling-booths.
Then there is the French equivalent of Lady Macbeth who, politically speaking, stuck a dagger in her 'dear, old dad' and took over his party. I refer, of course, to Mde. Marin le Pen, a lady who makes 'The Donald' look a bit stuffy and staid! From my point of view, she ought to be favourite because a win for her would destroy Europe, er, but unfortunately I suspect she would destroy 'la France' whilst doing it and I really do not want that to happen.
What can one say, except 'merde alors' and thank God the choice is not mine.