Leonardo da Vinci (allegedly")
Waddya mean, ya wouldn't give a nickel for a picture of a guy givin' ya de finger! Honestly, where has artistic refinement gone? Only yesterday, this picture sold for $450 million and bearing in mind that it was once the property of King Charles I it must be well worth the price. Admittedly, poor old Charlie boy suffered with a lack of judgment which eventually led him to parting company with his head but still, it gives the picture a royal gloss.
Setting aside the money, which is fairly easy to do because I cannot even imagine what $450 million looks like, be honest and tell me if you would give it house room. Apparently, it is in rather poor condition due to someone cleaning it too enthusiastically - you can just imagine some dear, old 'Mrs. Mop' putting it down on the floor and giving it a good scrubbing, and I bet she was 'dismissed on the spot without a character'! Anyway, rumour has it that this is definitely, absolutely and really and truly the work of Leonardo da Vinci, and that has been confirmed by an awfully nice and no doubt frightfully well-spoken gentleman from Christies the auctioneers, er, who sold it and earned a $50 million commission. (Nice one, Fred, drinks are on you tonight!)