Yes, yes, I know that the very thought of hugging 'Jezza' is the stuff of nightmares, look what it did to poor Diane Abbott, she has never recovered! Even so, we small 'c' conservatives must grit our teeth and hug the little 'scrote' to our bosoms because he is all that stands between us and a Labour government. Nobody has ever heard of any of his so-called 'shadow cabinet' which, on consideration, is probably a good-ish thing for the Labour party because if the GBP (Great British Public) actually realised that this collection of 'Komrades' could write the entirety of their collective political thoughts on a single placard, the Labour party would sink without trace!
Happily, 'Jezza' has been buzzing around the Labour party, both in and out of government, for decades, like one of those persistent, bloated flies that always ruin a nice picnic. Thus, even a voting population with more interest in the fate of, say, Bolton Wanderers than they have in who runs the country have over the decades gradually realised that 'Jezza' is a total plonker incapable of running even that famously disastrous enterprise, a piss-up in a brewery! Mrs. May should brace up and give 'Jezza' a nice big hug because he is, perhaps, her last hope of winning the next election.
I am obliged to the beautiful and brainy, Ms. Katy Balls via The Coffee House, for reminding me that despite the hapless Mrs. May presiding over the omni-shambles that is the current government, compared to 'Jezza' and his 'Kollective' she ain't too bad after all! Apparently, the pollsters, YouGov, who were the first to predict the result in the last election, have the two parties virtually level but Mrs. May still leads in the preference votes for prime minister. In comparing the situation with John Major in the early '90s, she reminds us that the main thing that saved him was the Tories' reputation for running the economy. Next week, Phil 'Spreadsheet' Hammond has another go at producing a budget and we must all pray that he makes a better fist of it than he did last year!