WARNING my temper may deteriorate! For some unknown reason - well, unknown to me! - my smoke alarms keep going off. Needless to say, under the auspices of 'Old Sod's Law', it is a Sunday and no-one is available to fix the fault and even more needless to say I haven't a clue! Nor may I add, do I feel like climbing up a step-ladder to investigate because a) I would probably fall off and/or b) I would start them screeching permanently!
Thank God for my committee of wise men: You may have realised that I don't 'do' original thinking - and I heard that! - instead I rely on my top class advisors to not only tell me what to think but why. Thus, when a retired Labour minister suggested the other day that national identity cards should be introduced my instant re-action was 'blx' but I didn't have time to work out why. Happily, this morning Mr. Peter Hitchens in The Mail explains all.
Then there is Mr. Dan Hodges: He raises a question which has been hovering around in the empty spaces of my brain cavity recently - what are we to make of Mrs. May? My feelings towards her vary from impatient dislike to a sort of admiring respect. Also, it is tinged with pity because the poor woman is surrounded by some of the biggest prats in British politics! What can one say to her except possibly to repeat Winston's famous phrase, "Just keep buggering on!"
Hollywood humbug: Well, there's never any shortage of that but this is a juicy morsel, courtesy of that rascal Drudge, from The American Mirror which reports that a Hollywood protest against the NRA and in favour of banning guns was attended by Ms. Alyssa Milano (actress, singer, dancer, model, you choose because I've never heard of her!) who was fervent in her opposition to gun-ownership. Happily, she was very safe at the rally because she had an armed bodyguard with her!
Oh God, you couldn't make it up! I have just been sitting on my patio frying gently in this unbelievably hot sunshine and reading the details of the Christian attack on Jerusalem during the first Crusade in 1099. Smaller numbers, of course, but it makes the battle of the Somme look like a doddle! Needless to say and absolutely true to form, these Holy Christian soldiers having forced the Muslim army out, then set about on a massive, two day slaughter of men, women and children. Poor old Jesus, how he must have wept up in heaven!
Cackle fodder for my Yankee friends: 'HillBilly' continues her wailing and moaning at the 'stoopidity' of the American people for failing to anoint her President in '16. According to the latest report, it was 'the socialists wot dunnit'!
“It’s hard to know, but I mean if you’re in the Iowa caucuses and 41 percent of Democrats are socialists or self-described socialists, and I’m asked ‘Are you a capitalist?’ and I say, ‘Yes, but with appropriate regulation and appropriate accountability.’ You know, that probably gets lost in the ‘Oh my gosh, she’s a capitalist!’” Clinton said during a conversation with Alan Murray, the Chief Content Officer at Time Inc.
To paraphrase dear Oscar, such a sweetie, 'you would need a heart of stone not to burst out laughing'!
Some pet, or petty, dislikes: Well, I mean, if I'm going to be a grumpy, old geezer running a blog then at least I'm entitled to enjoy a good old grump every now and then. So here are a few of my pet dislikes and needless to say it is not exclusive:
1: Tattoos, particularly on young girls whose skin is beautiful beyond description.
2: That wretched man who insists on chanting out the names of boxers prior to a fight and elongating the vowel sounds for so long that it sounds like a ship coming up the Mersey on a foggy night.
3. Speaker Bercow of parliament.
4. Wood pidgeons who regularly waddle across my patio crapping at every other step.
5. My computer whenever it glitches and in an instant turns from being a modern miracle to a box of total crap!
And yes, thank you for asking, that does feel much better!
Some good news for my 'Yankee-doodle' buddies: According to Zero Hedge, Michelle Obama has ruled out running for the Presidency. Needless to say, I haven't the slightest idea whether or not she would be a good President but I do know for a certainty that there would be an immediate and sickly flood of dim-witted sycophancy from all quarters. It was bad enough when her husband ran, just imagine what it would be like if she did the same! Mind you, ladies and politicians share the habit of changing their minds, so don't think this is her last word!
No more rumbles