On my super-duper, whizzy-do computer-thingie, which I might add, is a bespoke model specially built to my requirements, there is, of course, a sound system with two speakers. For some reason known only unto God, they stopped working. I then had to get down on hands and knees, not easy with my arthritis, and enter the jungle of wires and cables which lurk beneath my computer desk which, incidentally, still bears old traces of blood from past visits because always, without fail, I bump my head! Anyway, I traced the various cables to the various slots and unplugged them before replacing them more or less in the same sockets - well, all those bloody sockets look the same - and trying again. Guess what! The speakers still did not work - why am I not surprised?
My first gloomy thought was that I would have to ask 'SoD' to sort it during his next visit but I knew he would go off on one and bellow at me that he had told me before, several times, what to do! So instead, I rang our local computer shop and introduced myself as the official Milborne Port Village Idiot and asked if they could please send round the 14-year old lad who has forgotten more about computers than I know. He duly arrived this morning and instantly guided the mouse-thingie down to a tiny symbol in the bottom corner of the screen which shows a speaker and sound waves emanating. He clicked on it and there was a choice between speakers and/or headphones. It was set to headphones only! He reset it to speakers! Sorted!
Now you might think that I was embarrassed but let me tell you that after several years in the second-hand car trade I am unembarrassable! Mind you, I did feel a slight twinge of pity for those various officers who, back in the day, had me as their signaller! No wonder so many urgent orders failed to get through!
ADDITIONAL: I have just clicked on to The Coffee House and the first thing I see is that The Spectator is advertising for a new Assistant Digital Editor. Are they fishing for me, do you think?