I think I may have told this story before but only about 783 times. I was reminded of it yesterday by my post celebrating the late, great Thespis, the world's first actor. Back in the early '60s my Regiment was sent to Greece for a NATO exercise. We were living in tents just outside the coastal town of Volos. About a mile up the road was a very ancient Greek amphitheatre and it was decided that the commemoration of the battle of Arnhem would take place there.
The 'Toms' were duly marched in and sat on the stone seats with the officers down the front. There was a long delay and the 'yadda-yadda' amongst the 'congregation' rose. However, there was one voice which because of its pitch or tone seemed to carry through the crowd so that every few minutes you would hear him utter some variation on "Fookin' 'ell, 'oo we waitin' for?" or "Fookin' 'ell, 'e moost be important keepin' all those bleedin' officers waiting!" and so on and on.
Eventually, there was a stirring down the front and the officers all stood and everything went quiet. Entering stage right there appeared an extraordinary sight. A very tall man dressed in the full regalia of a Bishop in the Greek Orthodox Church, wearing a tall decorated mitre and a huge gold-embossed cloak whose train had to be supported by two attendants. He had a magnificent beard which nearly reached his waist, and in one hand he held a jewelled staff and in his other he carried an enormous bible. As he made his slow progress to the centre of the stage in utter silence, 'the voice' suddenly broke out:
"Fookin' 'ell, it's Moses!"
You can always rely on the 'Toms'!