"The Bridge" collapsed: There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth last night at Chateau Duff when, at last, we had the second series of The Bridge on BBC4. All through the Summer I have been waiting and waiting for a decent 'Scandie' thriller and last night I even set aside my two recordings of the latest 'Justified' in order to watch 'The Bridge'. What a load of old 'smorgasbord'!
The Battle of Three Plonkers: In January I will be giving one of my 'mil-hist' talks to an unsuspecting audience of three men and a dog - yeah, it's a dog's life! - on the subject of Austerlitz, or 'the Battle of Three Emperors' as it is often called. I have been re-reading Alistair Horne's excellent narrative history, How Far From Austerlitz, and I have decided to change the title of my talk to 'The Battle of Three Plonkers'. The 'Czar of All the Russias' was young, impressionable and stupid and easily led by a collection of equally young 'stoopids' with whom he surrounded himself. Ditto, the Emperor of Austria. Then we come to the biggest plonker of the lot - Napoleon Bonaparte. A jumped-up Corsican thug promoted, politically speaking, way beyond his abilities. Yes, up until Austerlitz he demonstrated an ability to fight battles but there-after that soon fell away and he never, ever, showed an historical or geo-political awareness.
David Cameron has "a comprehensive strategy": That's according to a heading in The Telegraph. There are several problems with it but perhaps the most urgent is deciding whether to laugh or cry or just snigger. Of course, there is an up-side to Dave's plan to bomb the Syrian desert as opposed to just the Iraqi desert because it will cost 'ga-zillions' whilst poor little Georgie is trying to balance the books. That means there will have to be even more fat cut off those gross, governmental milch-cows. Bombs and bombers don't come cheap!
Ooops, Vlad gets impaled from the rear! So just as Vlad sends his forces off to Syria to act as a sort of proxy, bare-chested, muscle-flexing exercise, those sneaky Ukrainians creep back into the Crimea and blow up his electricity pylons leaving nearly 2 million people without power. 'It would take a heart of stone not to laugh'!
'Scientific' lying liars: I place inverted commas round the word 'scientific' because it is yet another word that has been gang-banged out of all recognition. As I pointed out to Bob, our in-house Leftie (although I think he may have walked out in a huff), the only subjects I consider to be truly scientific are maths, physics and chemistry. The rest are simply differing bodies of information open to interpretation by all and sundry. All of which brings me to an article in the Stanford News concerning an investigation by two swots into the language used by lying liar 'scientists' when they put up false papers for publication in specialist journals. They are trying to set up a computerised system which will analyse the language used in future papers in order to flag up possible untruths. I suggest they test it on politicians' speeches! Hat tip to IHTM.
Come on, ISIS, do us all a favour: Now look here, Ali Baba, or whatever your name is, I am pointing no elbows, so to speak, but you do realise that in a couple of weeks there will be a huge meeting of some of the world's biggest plonkers ever assembled in one place - and that place is, so to speak, your old stomping ground - Paris! Yes, the UN summit on Global Warming! This is your chance to atone slightly for slaughtering all those people the other day and instead you could prove to the world how full of shit these plonkers are, not by shooting them, but by letting off some thunder flashes outside which should have most of them vacating their bowels - Big Time - eeeeeeew! Everyone would enjoy the joke and you might, well, you might, just win back some support because even Muslims like a laugh from time to time.
The 'Old Bill' hit themselves with their own truncheons: It has been obvious for years that the police forces of Britain, from Chief Constables down to the, er, "plebs" on the beat - though there aren't many of them because mostly they swan about in cars - are virulently anti-Tory. Now, in their dim-witted way, they are licking the end of their pencils and working out just how ruthless the coming cuts to police budgets are going to be and they are hurting. Good! They are amongst the most useless of our government hierarchies so the quicker they are cut down to size the better. All it needs to make my day is for Mrs. May to act as tough as she pretends and disband Scotland Yard.
- No more rumbles today