Even as I urge you all to top up on winter woollies I still bring you 'great tidings of joy'. Yes, it might well 'get a wee bit nippy roon' the throssacks', in fact, it's already started 'over here' because I'm wearing my Long Johns, but even so it is great news because, finally, all that man-made global warming 'crapulata' is about to shrivel up and freeze to death! And even better news is that it is those old doom 'n' gloom merchants, NASA, who have provided the truth.
As anyone with half a brain cell knew years ago, man-made CO2 had virtually nothing to do with the very gradual rise in global temperatures over the past few decades. The Asian economic giants have been pumping the stuff out at ever increasingly high amounts but with no dramatic visible effects on temperatures. The real cause was that naughty Hispanic couple, messing about in the Pacific west of South America. La Niña, the girl, and El Niño, the boy, are the names for a regular but so far inexplicable physical re-action in the waters of the Pacific which results in fairly sharp heating following by equally sharp cooling. These changes in temperatures cover a vast amount of water and the effects are felt world-wide. To date, nobody fully understands what causes this particular bit of the ocean to change.
Global average temperatures over land have plummeted by more than 1C since the middle of this year – their biggest and steepest fall on record. According to satellite data, the late 2016 temperatures are returning to the levels they were at after the 1998 El Nino.
The news comes amid mounting evidence that the recent run of world record high temperatures is about to end. The fall, revealed by NASA satellite measurements of the lower atmosphere, has been caused by the end of El Nino – the warming of surface waters in a vast area of the Pacific west of Central America.
It's a pity, really, because by and large I suspect that slightly warmer global temperatures are better than slightly colder ones not least because plants grow better in warmth. Also, in a funny old way I shall miss all those 'Pte. Frazer' characters shrieking and weeping and telling us "We're all doomed!"