I will not repeat my explanation for my title which I already did a few days ago, well, I mean, boring? - moi? - never! Anyway, tossing and turning in bed last night I reached for my trusty radio ear-piece and jammed it into my ear. What did I get? Good ol' Southern boy Bill burbling on and on and on about what a sweetie his adorable, kind and caring wife and mother she was, so full of the milk of lovin' kindness an' all, and that the Amer'can people were privileged to have her as their president. (You lucky people, you!)
Well, Bill, buddy, if she was such perfection, I wondered, how come you shagged everything in a skirt within reaching distance? I could feel the vomit rising in my throat as I fumbled for the 'OFF' switch in the dark. Then, as I lay there, I began to wonder about the nature of the morons people who actually pay good money to attend these circus shows and spend their time listening - and cheering - and hoopin' 'n' hollerin' - as a whole series of lying liars troop up on stage to do what they do best - tell bloody great whoppers! Or even worse, just shout utterly meaningless slogans like Trump's endlessly repeated "I'll make America great again!" (What, exactly and precisely, does that actually mean?)
Tonight, I suppose, 'HillBilly' will be up on the platform doing what she does best - telling lies! Unfortunately, she will not be telling them but booming them, all in her masculine, basso profundo voice interspersed with her hideous facial tick in which she opens her mouth even wider than Andy Murray showing her flesh-eating teeth. Note to self: make sure the radio's tuned to TalkSport tonight!