'SigInt' at work: A rare and fascinating glimpse through the keyhole at GCHQ is provided by Charles Moore in The Telegraph and I urge you all to read it. Ever since the WWI days of 'Room 40' at the Admiralty, signals intelligence has proved over and over again to be the leading source in providing hard and timely intelligence. The outgoing boss of GCHQ sounds like a good man and I just hope they find someone equally efficient to take over from him. Anyway, keep up the good work, boys and girls, we all depend on you - and I really do mean 'depend'!
Farage vs. Carswell: The more astute observers of the political scene are already forecasting a divorce and the 'honeymoon' has barely begun. In essence the problem is simple - UKIP is a single issue party and it's members are, in the acronym invented by the late, great Bernard Levin, a bunch of 'sifs' - single issue fanatics. They share a detestation of our links with the EU but beyond that there is a big, foggy hinterland in which they all stumble about trying to find their own route forward. Thus, Mr. Carswell, a small 'c', conservative, free market libertarian believes immigration is, on the whole 'A Good Thing' where-as Mr.Farage, his erstwhile leader, thinks it is 'A Good Thing', too, but only because it provides him with a platform to rail against it and thus collect the votes of the unwary. Outside of immigration and the EU, the two are synonymous in the minds of your average 'Kipper', I suspect that were you to lock three of them in a cupboard they would emerge with six different manifestos!
No, no, no, no! Now, they - yes, it's always that mysterious 'they' - want to make it a criminal offence for a third party to publish intimate photos that you either took yourself or allowed someone else to take and which, anyway, you sent to them. Well, sorry and all that, you may now look a complete idiot for taking the photos in the first place but that is because, 'in a very real sense', you are a complete idiot! However, your idiocy is not something that I wish our policemen and courts to waste even more of their mostly wasted working lives on, there is plenty of real criminality out there to be sorted and most of which they can barely cope with in the short time they have available between tea-breaks!
Why do they keep smiling at me? It's creepy, I tell you! A bit like living with The Stepford Wives. I refer, of course, to all those people, mostly women, who appear constantly on my TV during the ads and they 'smile and smile and I could murder them as they smile' - sorry, Will, but it was just so appropriate. They all flash on to my screen advertising this, that or the other and instantly they grin, smirk, simper, chuckle, chortle or smile until their faces must hurt - and I hate it! I want to get up and punch the screen in! It's usually around this time that the 'Memsahib' removes my whisky and sends me to bed.
Spare a thought for Sister Wolf: Poor girl is moving house and is thereby facing the dreaded 'Book Problem'! Having been something of a 'genuine Bedouin' throughout my life I have become used to regular and merciless culls of the books that seem to accumulate around me but, alas, poor 'Big Sis' has been in the same house for yonks and must take some harsh decisions. Rather sensibly she has picked on all of her books with yellowed pages. Good thinking, Sis, they're yellowed for a reason. I have several that have actually dissolved to dust - and I never even got round to reading them!
Now that's what I call a bogey!
Yes, you see, nose picking isn't always bad as I try to explain to the 'Memsahib' when, usually whilst sitting bored to pieces in a traffic jam, I sometimes explore my nostrils. She says it is disgusting and I claim it is hygenic. A row then ensues and ends when she raps my knuckles which, since they are usually halfway up a nostril makes my eyes water. However, according to The Telegraph, that creature in the photo, a leech, actually, apparently lived up the nose of some poor young girl who went trecking in the Far East. It was probably quite small when it slithered up there but, like Topsy, it just grew and it grew. Suffering with persistant nose bleeds the medics eventually discovered the unwanted guest. Now, if she had been a regular nose-picker she would have cured the problem much earlier. I rest my case!
Carswell the catalyst? According to Liam Halligan in The Telegraph, that is exactly what the new UKIP member for Clacton could be. It is a 'must read' article because, apart from singing the praises for Mr. Carswell's economic philosophy, it reminds us (as this blog has also from time to time) that 'Boy' George at the Treasury has done nothing - that's nothing as in zero - to correct our national finances. Our national debt at £1,410bn is twice what it was when 'Boy' George took office four years ago and he will have borrowed twice as much over five years as Gordon Brown did over ten! I might not be a UKIP supporter but, like Halligan, I'm definitely a Carswell supporter.
No more rumbles tonight.