Dozy Duff: I'm still feeling a bit dozy - oh alright then, dozier than normal - because I woke up early, went down and pulled the cover off the bird table and then sat and watched the usual feeding frenzy. As the 'Memsahib' was still asleep I sneaked in for a quick cuddle - and promptly fell asleep again for an hour! I now feel like 's,h,1,t'! And of course, during my two day absence, a host of stories have hit the headlines for me to comment on, er, when my brain clears, that is!
Gunfight at the 'Not-so-OK Corral': There are so many facets to these incidents that it is difficult to think your way through to any sensible conclusion. However, one detail seems - just! - to be seeping into the original media reports in which a cop shot dead a black man during a routine traffic stop. As always, the Left-wing biased media failed to point out that it was not a 'routine traffic stop'. The man was stopped because he closely resembled a man who had carried out an armed robbery in the locale just a few days earlier. Thus, the cop was taking no chances - particularly when he saw that the man was armed. Later 'reports' that the man had a legal permit to 'Carry and Conceal' were denied by the local Sheriff who said that no such permit was issued by his office, and it's still not clear that the man had even purchased the weapon legally. None of that, of course, was allowed to spoil the Left-wing fable that this was just another case of a cop killing an innocent man.
Taffy the Texter: I see that, according to The Mail, that jumped-up Taffy, Stephen Crabb MP, who suddenly appeared from nowhere in order to run for the leadership of the Tory party based not least on his self-proclaimed Christian piety, has been outed as a secret sex-texter. Where do these 'stoopids' come from? Is there a factory somewhere that churns them out?
And talking of 'stoopids': There is always the Labour party to snigger over. With Stakhanovite industry the 'Bruvvers' have dug an enormous hole and hand in comradely hand they are all jumping in! It all began, of course, under the leadership (who giggled?) of Ed 'the Dork' Miliband who allowed anyone and his dog to gain a vote in a leadership election for £3. Cue: a stampede of juveniles whose combined intelligence just about equalled that of an amoeba. The result was 'Jezza', and the end is nigh!
Meanwhile, over on the Right: Mrs. Leadsom, of whom I had some hopes, managed to create an enormous and solid lead ball and then, with due diligence and care, dropped in on her own foot! The way is now clear for 'St. Theresa of the May' to step elegantly in her leopard-pattern high heels into No. 10 provided she can avoid a similar gaffe - remember "The nasty party"? What she will be like as a Prime Minister I do not know but 'I ha'e ma doots', as 'Jimmy Glesga' might put it. You never can tell ahead what sort of a fist they will make of it but then again, I remember my misgivings when 'that woman' took over and she was brilliant.
This might lead to war: Here in 'Chateau Duff' we, by which I mean the 'Memsahib' and I, rarely if ever argue over what to watch on the 'telly', not least because there is hardly anything of interest on it as far as I can ever tell. But today could be different. The 'Memsahib' is a besotted 'plink-plonk' fan where-as I remain a keen follower of F1 racing. Needless to say, this afternoon the Wimbledon final will be playing at the same time as the British GP. "There will be blood"!
Meanwhile, 'down under there', chaos reigns: I must await a full report and analysis from my two Aussie reporters, Andra and AussieD, before I can give you a definitive description but it appears that the Right wing party have sort of, more or less, by and large, snuck into the winners' enclosure after the recent election. But as always, the devil is in the detail and it seems that the erstwhile prime minister, Malcolm Turnbull (or Malcolm Turncoat as some call him!) will face extreme difficulties in pushing through any legislation. Time for another crate of Fosters, methinks!
It's going to be a travesty, I tell you: I refer, of course, to the up-coming production of Tom Stoppard's peculiar but brilliant play, Travesties, which is going to run at the Menier Chocolate Factory theatre in London. It is a great play not least because it held up even when I directed it some years ago (with help from 'Miss Mayfly' who was my Stage Manager)! Only Stoppard could manage to stitch together the fact that in 1917 in Zurich there lived Henry Carr, the British consul, who sued James Joyce for the price of a pair of trousers made for a production of The Importance of Being Earnest, and Tristan Tzara, the instigator of the Dada-ist movement. In addition, a certain Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov (aka: Lenin) and his wife make an appearance because they, too, were in Zurich at the time but desperate to return to Russia where the revolution had taken place. If you're quick there are tickets available - and Tom Hollander (Corky from The Night Manager) is playing in it. Need I say more?
Thank God he won! No, no, no, not that gobby Jock in the 'plink-plonk' match! I mean that fine upstanding example of English gentility and sportsmanship, Mr (Sir???) Lewis Hamilton, of course. He drove like a dream and thoroughly thrashed that young Hun who has had the impertinence to take the lead in the Divers' Championship. But now that lead is cut to just 4 points and if young Hamilton can drive him off the course, oops, sorry, I mean outdrive him at the German Grand Prix my cup will over-floweth!
An 'aaaaah' story, and from America too! Reported in The Telegraph, eight handcuffed prisoners being held in a cell pending court appearances rushed to the aid of a prison guard who collapsed with a heart attack. They shouted and tried to use his radio to call for assistance and as a result the guard's life was saved. There, that makes you all feel better doesn't it?!
No more Rumbles today