DUFF & NONSENSE!

So farewell then, Niki Lauda, I salute your memory

'Back in the day', F1 motor racing was truly a very dangerous activity.  During the years from 1970-79 when I was something of a fan, eight drivers were killed whilst racing in Grand Prix.  It was in that period when one of the greatest drivers, Niki Lauda, rose to prominence particularly during his epic duel with James Hunt. 

Niki Lauda on the red carpet at the West End premiere of Rush in 2013 Credit: Getty Images 

Alas, in 1976, Lauda was involved in a massive crash which left him trapped in a blazing car until a very brave man rescued him.  Despite his injuries which plagued him for the rest of his life and caused the Last Rites to be read over him in hospital at the time, he was back to racing in a matter of weeks.  He went on to win two more World Chamionships before eventually retiring.  A truly great racer and, by all accounts in his obits, a good man.

 

 

This Parliamentary farce will run longer than 'Game of Thrones'!

And so they drone on and on and on in Westminster, not once, not twice, not thrice but now for the fourth time and pulling the creaking (non)Brexit wagon along is that donkey, Mrs. Theresa May.  In certain circumstances her stubbornness might have been praise worthy but it has been clear for all, except her, to see that the House will never agree even on the number of commas in her pathetic, so-called 'Brexit plan'.  I am left wondering what is driving her on in the face of such adversity.  I would like to say that it was courage but, alas, I fear it is simply donkey-like stupidity combined with over-weening ambition and love of power and position.  She is, quite simply, determined to avoid facing what is to her unthinkable, that is, resigning and handing over the keys to No.10 to some other self-delusional cretin who thinks that, Canute-like, they can achieve the impossible!

Mind you, her glue-like determination to hang on in there has one great advantage - it moves us closer to the 'No Deal' option which was, is and always will be, not just the very best option but the only option!  At the risk of repeating myself - who 'moi'? - let me say, yet again, that the Euros will never, ever make a deal that would allow us to depart peacefully.  I don't blame them for that because we are, after all, a nice, fat 'milch cow' on which they can suckle comfortably.  For example, today British Steel has just collapsed despite the pound dropping in value since 2016 which should have made our steel cheaper on international markets.  However, as Ross Clark points out at The Coffee House, that was not enough to defend against the flood of (subsidised) steel from China.  Even so, the EU 'apparat' has done everything it can to strangle British Steel:

The final trigger for British Steel’s collapse into administration, however, was not low steel prices but arguably a demand from the EU for £120 million worth of payments under its Emissions Trading Scheme (ETS) – which is supposed to provide an incentive for heavy polluters to cut their carbon emissions.

Under the scheme, heavy industries which face international competition are given free allowances of carbon credits to meet the EU demands – a circular economy of paper which does rather little to help the planet.

The trouble for British Steel is that while Britain has agreed to remain bound by the ETS until December 2020, the EU has decided to stop issuing free allowances to UK firms – at least until we have voted to ratify the EU withdrawal agreement. In other words, British companies still have to make payments under the ETS scheme, but no longer receive the free carbon credits to help them meet their bills.  [My emphasis]

With 'friends' like that, who needs enemies?

 

'Sahib' Chaplin still makes 'em laugh!

As y'all do know, I have a great fondness for genuine eccentricity and the sillier it is the more I like it.  Well, they don't come much sillier and eccentric than in the Gujurati town of Adipur somewhere in the middle of India.  According to The Telegraph, every year on April 16th the people of Adipur dress up as Charlie Chaplin and have a parade and a party.

Young residents enjoy the celebration   Credit: GETTY

You will need to read the original article to find out how all this arose but as so often with these sorts of eccentricities it all began years ago by some Indian 'nutter' with an obsession for Charlie Chaplin.  Good for him and I hope the people of Adipur continue to enjoy their eccentricity for many a year.

 

 

He said, she said and so it goes on and on and on . . .

This is truly delicious!  If there were a dozen leading officials and politicians in 'Obamarama's' cabal then you would have two dozen different stories!  The latest involves that slimy, former Director of the FBI, James Comey and that sinister, former Attorney General Loretta Lynch.  This time, for a change, it does not concern 'The Donald' but instead it hinges on the Hillary Clinton email investigation - remember that one?  'HillBilly' hopes you have forgotten about it but it is such an enormous, stinking heap of putrescence that the smell simply will not go away.

According to Comey, via Zero Hedge:

While testifying last year at a closed-door House Oversight Committee hearing last June, Comey said Lynch had pressured him to minimize the significance of the Clinton email probe [my emphasis] - an encounter which he says left him questioning her impartiality, and - along with Lynch's clandestine tarmac meeting on a hot summer's day in 2016 - contributed to his decision to hold a July 2016 press conference announcing the FBI's conclusions. 

Ms. Lynch, on the other hand, with her amour propre burnished to a gloss, denied it all and suggested that Comey was 'a lying, dirty rat', or something like that:

Lynch, meanwhile, told congressional the House Oversight and Judiciary committees on December 19: "I did not. I have never instructed a witness as to what to say specifically. Never have, never will."
"I didn't direct anyone to use specific phraseology. When the Director asked me how to best to handle that, I said: What I have been saying is we have received a referral and we are working on the matter, working on the issue, or we have all the resources we need to handle the matter, handle the issue. So that was the suggestion that I made to him," Lynch added - telling lawmakers that she was "quite surprised" to hear how Comey would later describe the conversation "because that was not how it was conveyed to him, certainly not how it was intended."

Bear in mind that these are the two top officials in 'Obamarama's', er, so-called Justice and Investigation departments.  One is tempted, at this point to quote 'HillBilly' at her worst when discussing the deaths of several American diplomats on her watch:

"What difference, at this point, does it make?"

 

 

 

Oh no, not more books . . . !

I may have mentioned before that a neighbour/friend and I swap periodicals.  I give him The Spectator and he gives me The Saturday Review section of The Times.  I have just opened, rather late, the last edition he gave me and what do I discover?  Books, more books and even more books!  Following my recent birthday, the books surrounding my armchair look like the Berlin wall!  Will I live long enough to read them, I wonder?  So I need more books like a hole in the head but - dammit! - they are so tempting.

For a start there is "The British Are Coming: The War for America 1775-77" by Rick Atkinson.  The Times gives it a rave review but, of course, this volume of only - only!!! - 550 pages merely covers the first two years!  Apparently two more volumes are expected later.  My first thought was my old Jewish accountant's favourite expression, "I should live so long my life already!"  Next up was "Working with Winston: The Unsung Women Behind Britain's Greatest Statesman" by Cita Stelzer.  This is based on the numerous ladies who provided secretarial skills for 'Winnie'.  There is a great truth that if you really want to know about a 'great man', ask his valet!  In this case, I'm sure the ladies in the Churchillian 'back-office' can provide some classic insights.

Finally, there is a review of a man hitherto unknown to me and I sincerely hope he stays that way!  I refer to the late Mr. Richard Holbrooke, an American, er, 'political advisor' who seems to have been up to his elbows in every bloody American conflagration from Vietnam onwards!  From the various reviews I have skimmed, nobody liked him because he was, in the main, an enormous pain in the arse!  Mind you, his life story, "Our Man: Richard Holbrooke and the End of the American Century" might throw some sonsiderable light onto American foreign affairs, so perhaps I will keep it book-marked!

 

 

What exactly did 'Change UK' change to?

For the benefit of my foreign readers, and I suspect, several of my Brit readers, too, I should explain that 'Change UK' is the name - well, it was yesterday but who knows today? - of a political group - it is still not exactly a party - formed from sundry malcontents from all the main Parliamentary parties who huffed off a couple of months ago.  I think, at the last count there were 7 or 8 of them, all sort of human, except Anna 'Sour Brie' Soubry who is obviously a wind-up toy!  They are led, if that is quite the right word, by that dopey, black bloke called 'Chuck Yer Munna', or something like that!

Anyway, I have been keeping a careful eye open to try and discern what they are actually for!  So far, it appears, the only thing they agree on - although I'm not too sure about 'Sour Brie' who never agrees with anyone on anything - is that they want to revoke Article 50 which was passed by Parliament with an enormous majority only a couple of years ago.  Good luck with that one, 'Chuk Yer Munna', and in the unlikely event that you get your way, stand by for riots on the streets - led by me!

 

 

Right, pay attention all you Tory voters!

Next Thursday, you will all get fell in, tallest on the right, shortest on the left, and on my word of command you will proceed in an orderly way to your nearest polling station.  Once there, and again on my word of command, you will carry out a full-blooded massacre of the Tory party!  No mercy is to be shown, all of them, without exception, are to be chopped off at the knees and left to crawl back on their stumps to Tory HQ!  You will achieve this by voting for almost anyone else, er, except Labour, but allow me to nudge you in the direction of the new Brexit Party which is an excellent place to start.  However, if necessary, choose 'The Monster Raving Loony Party' but just remember that our motto is - Anyone But Tory!

There is already a certain amount of sweat being raised in Tory circles, especially in Parliament, but now you must seize the chance and induce total moral panic!  Your average Tory MP is a gutless creature and if you demonstrate utter ruthlessness on Thursday you will be amazed how quickly they will turn their coats on that wretched woman and her euro-weeny cohorts and steer our government towards a straightforward, no deal Brexit!

 

 

Your Monday Funnies: 20.5.19

Some corkers today to get you wage slaves started for the week!

A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns.  Inside, he finds a couple in bed.  He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the home owner’s wife to the bed the convict gets on top of her,
kisses her neck, then gets up & goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:
'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes!
He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck.  If he wants sex. Don’t resist, don't complain...do what ever he tells you.  Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.  This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both.  Be strong, honey. I love you!'

His wife responds: ‘He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.  He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.  I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too.'

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A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.  So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?

"Morris Feinberg," he replied.

"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."

"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."

"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man."

"I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests."

And finally "I pray that everyone will be happy".

 

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"


"Like I'm talking to a fxxking wall"

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

RECENT RESEARCH SHOWS THAT THERE ARE 5 STAGES OF SEX ...

The 1st stage of sex is Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face .

The 2nd stage of sex is Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd stage of sex is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex in your bedroom.

The 4th stage of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "Screw You".

The 5th and final stage of sex is Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

That's it - better get back to work!

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 19.5.19

Bright and relatively early this morning:   Despite having enjoyed an exceedingly pleasant dinner with 'SoD' and his lovely lady at a local Italian restaurant.  Amongst other things, 'SoD' gave me a Regimental tie - made of silk!  Ultra smart and that forced me to smarten up my appearance last night from my usual 'scruffy, old geezer' look, a mode which, to my surprise, seems not to have taken off in the fashion world!

 

Let's hear it - again - for the Aussies:    Excellent news from 'down under there' where the Lefty-loons have been treated more or less like any visiting English cricket team - bowled out with a pathetic score!  Will the (non)Democratic Party in America face the same outcome 'over there' next year?  I suspect they will, not least because there is a growing 'shit-storm' building up over their shennanigans prior to the last Presidential election.  Take cover!

 

Sort of good but also sort of sad:   Yesterday I gave myself a break from the machinations of 'our Tom' Cromwell and 'our King 'Arry' and I began to read a few pages from Antony Beevor's latest book, "Arnhem".  Already, I just know it is going to be excellent history but, alas, also 'yuuuuuugely' depressing!  In many ways, Montgomery was an excellent fighting General but why did the bombastic, little prat have to emulate the equally obtuse Gen. Patten and thereby produce even greater military cock-ups?

 

As usual, Peter Hitchens tells it the way it really is:   There has been much 'huffin' 'n' puffin'' from all quarters on the ludicrous state of affairs in which 70-year old veterans are being prosecuted 40+ years after the events whilst their murderous IRA opponents were given 'carte blanche' protection from the law.  Hitchens sums it up thus:

I shall keep saying this until it sinks in. The United Kingdom surrendered to the Provisional IRA, under heavy American pressure, in 1998, and the persecution of British soldiers was part of the terms of that surrender. The Tory Party supported the nauseatingly named ‘Good Friday Agreement’ at the time and still defends it.

 

Hurrah, Britain finished bottom!   Thank God for that, Britain finished last in the Eurovision song contest!  I don't think I have ever heard even a semi-decent song from that ghastly chorus of no-talent morons so perhaps the 'galumps' who keep entering us will realise that even if Cole Porter wrote our songs and Frank Sinatra sang them, the Euros will never vote for us because they detest us!  When the realisation occurs, please tell Mrs. May the same attitude prevails on our (non)Brexit talks!

 

Dominic Cavendish needs to 'man up'!   Cavendish is the theatre critic of The Telegraph and I have just read his mealy-mouthed, pathetic critique of the feminised Henry IV at The Globe Theatre, about which I 'grumped' a few days ago.  This photo sums it up:

Sarah Amankwah in a scene from Henry IV, Part II Credit: Tristram Kenton

Cavendish, with his 'oh so metropolitan sensibilities' describes Ms. Amankwah as "a woman of colour".  No she's not, Dominic, darling, she's black!  We're all 'coloured' in different pigments so just spell it out, you know, as in "Tell truth and shame the devil".

 

And another two books!   These delivered by 'SoD', so thanks be to him!  One is serious and the other is hilarious.  The serious one is The Europe Illusion: Britain, France, Germany and the Long History of European Integration by Stuart Sweeney.  It commences from 1648 so it looks like a long read - which is ecellent.  The other, gifted to me at my own request, is seriously serious history!  I continually quote one of its key phrases, "A Good Thing" and "A Bad Thing" and, of course, that comes from "1066 and All That" by the renowned historians - no, honestly! - W.G.Sellar and R.J.Yeatman.  It must be over 60 years since I last read it and at the time it left my crying with laughter.  So thanks, 'SoD', you're a diamond!  An example:

                                     Chapter XLIII

                                               India

It was in the 18th century that Indian history started.  Indian History is a great number of wars in which the English fought against the Waratah Confederacy and various kinds of potentates called Sahibs, Wallahs, Jahs, Rajahs, Hurrahjas, Mahhurrahjas, Jhams and Jhellies.  Most memorable amongst these were the terrible Napoo Sahib, the Maharrata of Pshaw, the Chandra Gaff and the Taj Mahal.

Talk about laugh, I expect you nearly did!  Anyway, that's me finished for today - I have some serious reading to do!

 

 

No more rumbles 

 

 

 

 

The day after . . .

First let me offer up an exceedingly large 'Thank You!' to all you D&N readers who offered so many good wishes yesterday in celebration of my birthday.  I can say, along with Aufidius in "Coriolanus", but without his double meaning, that "I was moved withal."  I would also like to express my enormous gratitude to various personal friends who, with great insight - I mean, how did they know I am a 'book-a-holic'? - offered me a fascinating addition to my, er, 'library'.

For a start, the 'Memsahib' gave me a copy of Antony Beevor's latest military history "Arnhem: The Battle for the Bridges" - and no, 'SoD', you can't borrow it straight away, you will have to wait and given the size of it, that might be some time!  Mind you, 'SoD', whilst I take on that behemoth of a book, you might like to borrow what looks like another intriging book called "The History of Tactics" by Capt. H.M. Johnstone, R.E. which might prove useful for you at your War Games club.  It begins with Frederic the Great which is a pretty shrewd place to start a book on tactics!

Another friend gave me a history book based, so to speak, on an unusual slant.  It is called "The Hungry Empire: How Britain's quest for food shaped the modern world", written byLizzie Collingham. Yum-yum, can't wait!  Also, the 'Memsahib' won extra 'brownie points' by giving me the DVD set of the latest episode of "Line of Duty".  This will assuage my feelings of guilt and loss when I tried, in my usual cack-handed way, to record all the episodes so that I could watch it all in one hit, so to speak.  Needless to say, with my ineptness in operating 'do-flicker-thingies', my machine failed to record a single episode!  That resulted in several weeks of avoiding all mentions of the series in the media.  Now I am going to set aside an entire day and watch the whole damned thing in one go!

The only slight 'downer' on my birthday was that some old and dear friends asked us round for supper and a game of canasta, a regular routine over the years.  It always take the form of us chaps vs. the ladies.  On this, er, special occasion, I thought the ladies might acknowledge the moment and throw the game.  Not a bit of it!  We were well and truly thrashed!  So no change there then!

Ooops, sorry, one more:   I forgot this one given to me by an old friend from my AmDram Society called "Swearing Is Good For You: The Amazing Science of Bad Language" - yeeeeeees, quite!  It may have stemmed from memories of my usual opening speech to the cast of any of the shows I directed, in which I decried the use of bad language during rehearsals but would admit that when matters became became tense I was very likely to revert to 'original Aldershot' from my army days!

 

 

 

Yes, it's true, today I am 80!

Presumably, at some time I must have let the cat out of the bag and mentioned that today is my 80th birthday because yesterday one or two of the excellent e-pals I have acquired over the years sent their birthday greetings, for which I am very grateful.  Even so, to be honest, I am not a great celebrant of birthdays; to me, it's just another notch on the measuring stick of life.  Apart from the odd bit of cancer and arthritis, I am in fairly good shape so I am happy to have reached my four score years.  Even so, I am not minded to cling on indefinitely.  For example, I have a friend who is, in effect, 'dead' but is kept alive, or at least, kept breathing via myriad tubes and constant care and that is not a fate I would wish for!  

Looking back over my past 80 years, I simply cannot help shaking my head in wonderment.  It has been a rickety-rackety life but, and this still amazes me, an exceedingly lucky life!  I never had any ambition, or even an aim in life.  I just drifted along following a twisty road and, through no effort on my part, it all worked out exceedingly well.  Oddly enough, I was also lucky in the thing I avoided, not through any skill or thoughtfulness on my part, but simply through my ignorance.  Had I discovered theatre earlier in my life I suspect that I would have thrown myself into it head first - and that would have been disastrous!  Instead, I toddled on doing this, that and the other, none of which really interested me but which more or less provided me with a living.

Needless to say, the greatest stroke of luck I ever had was putting my then girlfriend 'in the family way'.  For others, that has often proved to be a disaster but not for lucky me!  Yes, I was careless but, looking back at it, I suspect it was because I didn't care if it did happen.  I am not a great believer in the concept of 'love', partly because it strikes me as one of those concepts that means different things to different people.  What I do absolutely and profoundly believe in is 'friendship'.  Back in the day, Patsy was my 'friend', in the very best and deepest  sense of that word.   Happily, she has remained that for the past 55 years.  So yet again, 'Lady Luck' touched me with her magic wand!

So there you have it and that is quite enough introspection!

 

 

Sam Wanamaker must be spinning in his grave

The late and exceedingly great Sam Wanamaker must be weeping as well as spinning in his grave.  He it was who had the idea of building a replica of Shakespeare's Globe Theatre in more or less the same spot on the South Bank of the Thames.  It was a brilliant notion and it has provided me, and no doubt millions of others, with unforgettable theatrical experiences.  Today, authorities in charge appear to be intent on producing theatrical nightmares!

Here is an extract from The Spectator's review of their latest production of Henry IV Part I.

Henry IV Part 1 looks like a pillow-up-the-jumper am-dram effort. Hal and Falstaff, both played by women, stride up and down the boards shrieking their lines at the sky without interacting, or even looking at each other. It’s hard to grasp that this is an Elizabethan Secret Millionaire. A royal prince has joined a crew of drunken mercenaries who are plotting to mug some pilgrims as an amusing pastime in between real-life battles. Sarah Amankwah’s Hal has a surfeit of biddable chirpiness but no hint of introspection, still less of majesty. She’s miscast, perhaps. Certainly mis-costumed. She’s togged up as a chic commando, in a scarlet beret and matching jacket, like an aerobics teacher at a 1980s disco. There are levels of pathos and rumination in Hal that this production can’t fathom.

As you will have guessed, Ms. Amankwah is black!  The very epitome of a young.

medieval, royal Prince of England!  Well, sort of, I suppose, if you're deaf, dumb and blind!  Both Falstaff and Hotspur are also played by women.  So never mind poor old Sam Wanamaker, just spare a thought for poor, old Will Shakespeare!

 

 

This Brexit lark is just more of the same old same old!

I am now well into John Schofield's excellent biography of Thomas Cromwell and two things have leapt out at me.  First is the insidious and unstoppable erosion of the Catholic faith following the writings and preachings of that very naughty German, Martin Luther.  It is no wonder that all the great dictatorships of modern times always seize control of the means of communication.  Alas for the Church of that time, the invention of the printing press and its rapid extension round Europe made control of communications almost impossible.  However, what has surprised me somewhat, is the speed at which Luther's message was picked up and absorbed by so many.

It is one of the great ironies of all time, that the steady encroachment of 'Lutherism' into England occurred at a time when 'our 'Enery' was eager, nay slavering, to be rid of wife #1, Catherine of Aragon, and hot to marry wife #2, Anne Boleyn.  Even the best legal minds in the realm could not wriggle their way through the Papal strictures forbidding such an act, so that was all the encouragement 'our 'Enery' needed to be rid off this European entanglement.  Thus, the first 'Brexit' was a 'Royal Brexit' - God bless yer Majesty!

I suspect that my next history book is going to be on the subject of Luther and his 'revolutionary' movement!

 

And blessings be upon 'The Land of Kindle'!

Thank God for that!  After my disappointment, about which I moaned a few months back, after I bought a biography of Thomas Cromwell which almost resembled his daily diary given the sheer amount of detail in it, I have now found a new biography by John Schofield which is concise and informative and, thus, readable.  Already I can see why 'our Tom' is a tricky subject given that he had to follow a path of intricate difficulties where one miss-step might take you up the stairs to the chopping block!

Mr. Schofield tends to the sympathetic side of Master Cromwell but I gather that other biographers can be much harsher.  What shines out so far is the man's intelligence.  From relatively humble beginnings via an adventurous military youth abroad, he slowly ascends the ladder to wealth and influence - and danger!  I have only just reached the beginnings of his rise to Royal circles which, given 'our 'Enery's' volcanic nature, to say nothing of the Boleyn family's ambitions, he might, in retrospect, have done better to avoid!

It's a terrific story and Mr. Schofield tells it well and clearly.

 

The Rise & Fall of Thomas Cromwell: Henry VIII's Most Faithful Servant

by John Schofield

 

 

 

On this alone, I thank God that Trump beat 'HillBilly'

No doubt President Trump deserves criticism for a variety of sins of omission or commission but, in my opinion, he is spot on in his campaign of opposition against the over-weening and exceedingly dangerous ambitions of China.  I draw a distinction here between the people of China who over recent times have suffered cruelly at the hands of both their own leaders and foreign invaders.  The fact that (on the whole!) they are now enjoying the fruits of prosperity is, in the immortal words of Sellar & Yeatman, authors of the greatest history book ever written, "A Good Thing".  However, they should make the most of it while it lasts because they are now in the clutches of some power-mad thugs with delusions of grandeur and ambitions to rule the world.  This will only end badly, for us but even worse for them!

Having just finished Tim Bouverie's superb history of Chamberlain vs. Hitler, I am now all too well aware of how our politicians will duck and dive and try anything to appease foreign megolomaniacs - to be fair, so would many of their voters!  I suspect the same holds true today in the face of increasing arrogance and belligerance from the Chinese government in all quarters of the globe.  Trump is absolutely correct to start drawing lines and defending them.  Yes, it may well cause disruption but that will be nothing compared to the calamities that will ensue if China continues to swagger its way round the globe unapposed.  

Box clever, Donald, but keep boxing!

 

 

Those dumb Democrats better watch out!

Two and a half years ago we were all subject to an hysterical campaign by the Democratic party assuring us that Donald Trump was on the take from the Russians who had influenced the election result and cheated 'HillBilly' from what was rightfully her entitlement to be the next POTUS.  Two and a half years later, Trump has appointed an experienced and reputed bulldog of an investigator to look into corrupt malfeasance by - guess who? - yes, the Democratic party along with very senior allies in the Dept. of (non)Justice and the FBI who stand accused of mounting a scurrilous campaign against the Trump/Republican campaign for the Presidency.

The Dem efforts to build a story has collapsed in worse than ignominy because not only has their invention fallen flat, it has now opened all sorts of hitherto secret doors into their own murky operations.  It's early days yet but the timing could not be better for the Trump re-election campaign because over the next 18 months the lids over Democratic sewers will be lifted.  The stench will almost certainly cloud around 'HillBilly' but also, with a bit of luck and a following wind, may well engulf the ultra sanctimonious 'Obamarama'!  In any event, the Dems are going to find themselves on the defensive particularly when the 'perps' concerned rat them out!

The biters bit, such fun!

 

 

Farewell, Lt. Col. Cole, the last of 'the intrepids'

This blog is in danger of looking like The Times obituary column!  Sorry and all that but there are some peoples' deaths that touch me in one way or another.  To be honest, until today I had never heard of Lt. Col. Richard Cole USAAF but I certainly do recall reading and admiring his wartime exploit in the Doolittle raid that took place in December 1941.

Richard Cole, second right, with James Doolittle, second left, and other 'Doolittle Raiders' Credit: NYT/USAF

Just two weeks after America had been slammed by the Japanese at Pearl Harbour there was a determination on the part of the High Command that 'something must be done'!  Frequently in military history this can result in a tragic farrago that achieves nothing.  However, in the case of the Doolittle raid, whilst the military damage inflicted was minimal, the shock to the Japanese authorities was immense and a warning of things to come.  In addition, the morale of the American people was instantly galvanised.

The Raiders' Mitchell planes on board the 'Hornet' carrier Credit: Aviation History Collection/Alamy

This was the first time that bombers had ever been deployed from aircraft carriers and none of the crews had attempted it before.  It was realised that a return to the carrier was impossible so the plan was for the aircraft to fly on to air strips in China controlled by the Nationalists.  Some made it, some did not.

Richard Cole at a Doolittle Raider reunion in 2013 Credit: Nick Tomecek/Northwest Florida Daily News

Happily, Lt. Col. Cole did make it and lived to the ripe old age of 103.  We salute your memory, Colonel!

 

 

So, farewell then, Doris, but I wish I could remember your films!

Alas, I do not have much to say in remembrance of Doris Day who has just died at the grand old age of 97.  I can barely remember any of her films but my impression is that she always played cheerful and wholesome and could belt out a good song.  Also, by and large, I seem to remember that her performances left me feeling better rather than worse - no mean feat given some of the drudgery inflicted by other actors.  I gather that like most Hollywood stars, her choice in men was abysmal and she suffered for it.  Even so, 'back - way back - in the day', it was nearly always a pleasure to see her name on the posters.

 

 

Your Monday Funnies: 13.5.19

Some corkers to start your working week with a grimace smile:



I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large fries, ear of corn & a jumbo hot dog. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I haven't eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'

………………...…………..

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it… eventually'.

..…………………………..

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said, 'Nope, you're still black'.

……………...…………...

Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance', with a face like that!

…...……......…...……...

A 10-year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me ma died this morning.' 'Oh bejaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.'

...………………………...

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

……………….........…….

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

…...………….........……..

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself. I'm going to take that.'

..…...………...………….

I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong. The question was where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?

...…………………………...

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

...……………………...…..

I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

 

Two naked statues, a man and a woman, had been standing looking at each other in a park for a hundred years. One day, an angel came to visit them and said since they had stood there so patiently through all the summers and winters they would be rewarded by half an hour of human life to do whatever they have wanted most.

The two statues came to life, looked at each other a bit shyly, laughed a bit and said, "Shall we?" and "Yes, let's do it!" They dashed for the bushes, from which shortly was heard giggling, laughter and the shaking branches. After a quarter hour, they came out from the bushes all hot, flustered and happy.

The angel said they had only used half their time and why didn't they start all over again. The statues giggled a bit and the man statue said to the woman statue: "Ok, let's do it again, only this time we'll do it the other way around. YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL shit on its' head."

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Golf ethics:

What if you were playing in the golf club championship tournament finals
and the match was halved at the end of 17 holes. You had the honour and hit your ball a modest 250 yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six iron to the pin. Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it deep into the woods to the right of the fairway.

Being the golfing gentleman that you are, you help your opponent look for his ball. Just before the permitted five minute search period ends, your opponent says: "Go ahead and hit your second shot and if I don't find it in time, I'll concede the match."

You hit your ball, landing it on the green, stopping about 10 feet from the pin. About the time your ball comes to rest, you hear your opponent exclaim from deep in the woods: "I found it!" The second sound you hear is a click, the sound of a club striking a ball and the ball comes sailing out of the woods and lands on the green, stopping no more than six inches from the hole.

Now here is the ethical dilemma: Do you pull the cheating sod's ball out of your pocket and confront him with it or do you keep your mouth shut?

 

That's your lot - everyone a winner!

 

 

 

The Sunday Rumble 12.5.19

Rest day today:   'For Lo, I have laboured in the vineyards of the Lord', er, well, that is, my 0.037 of an acre of a garden and so, as the sun is shining, I intend to sit in it and relax.  Well, apart from labouring up two flights of stairs in order to add further rumbles - or grumbles - you decide!

 

And now I am back in 'the slough of despond':   Yes, after my exciting break courtesy of Mr. Terry Hayes and his superlative thriller, "I Am Pilgrim", I have returned with extreme reluctance to Mr. Tim Bouverie's depressing history of one the most shameful episodes in British history, "Appeasing Hitler: Chamberlain, Churchill and the Road to War".  With depressing timing I have returned on the eve of the German invasion of Czechoslovakia.  Someone please pass the sick-bag!

 

But this will make you smile:   Today's cartoon in The Telegraph as part of a report that the pollsters are indicating that 'our Nige' and his Brexit party will out-vote the Tories at the next election.

When, oh when, will the Tory 'muppets' wake up and rid themselves of that wretched woman and her 'Remainer' cohorts?

 

'MDK' sums it up elegantly:   'MDK', of course, is 'My Darling Katy' Balls who writes for 'The Speccie' and 'The Coffee House'.  Today she summarises an interview of 'Our Nige' by Andrew Marr, the archetypal BBC creature.

The beauty of the Brexit Party campaign is its simplicity – the party’s MEP candidates come from across the political spectrum but all agree that the UK should already be out of the EU and today’s politicians are complicit in that failure. However, today’s interview is a reminder of the difficulties the party could face moving to a general election setting where domestic policies would come under greater scrutiny.

That is a shrewd point and a warning.  I suspect that, Brexit apart, if you locked six 'Brexiteers' in a room to decide on domestic issues you would get ten opinions and a punch-up!  Even so, for the greater good, let's vote as many of them as possible into the European parliament in order to truly 'frit' the Tories!

 

Jes' sayin'!   I have had a lovely couple of hours sitting on my patio in nothing but my shorts and my tan is coming along nicely.  I just know you ladies will find that fascinating!

 

Now this is interesting:   Well, it is if you're fascinated by pre-WWII European history.  Many people defend Chamberlain's pathetic weakness by claiming that we could not have declared war in 1938 because we lacked the power.  But neither, despite their 'huffin' 'n' puffin', did the Germans:

From the perspective of the Western Powers, the principal defence of the Munich Agreement has rested on the fact that neither Britain nor France were ready for war in 1938 and that Munich granted them an extra year in which to prepare - the so-called 'breathing space'.  "Thank God for Munich", wrote Harold Balfour, Under-Secretary for Air in the Chamberlain government, who recalled that in the autumn of 1938 Britain only possessed two flying Spitfires and scarcely more Hurricanes.  Of course, Balfour was right.  The Spitfires, Hurricanes and radar - all which made the difference between victory and defeat in the Battle of Britain  - were not ready in 1938 but were in 1939.  What the argument ignores, however, is that Germany was in no position to launch the Battle of Britain in 1938.  Not only - as the events of 1939 and 1940 were to prove - did she first need to defeat her immediate neighbours and secure airfields along the Channel coast before she could turn her attention to Britain, but in 1938 the Luftwaffe was not equipped for a long-range strategic bombing campaign.

"Appeasing Hitler: Chamberlain, Churchill and the Road to War"

 

'MDJ' is absolutely spot on:   Yes, 'MDJ', My Darling Julie (Birchill), is yet another lady in my life although, just like the others, she only enters it via the printed word.  Even so, 'MDJ', who was an exceedingly naughty girl 'back in the day', obviously inherited some good sense genes even if she nearly drowned them in booze and drugs and high(=low!) living during her youth.  It is exemplified in her article in today's Telegraph when she extols the benefit of 'a stiff upper lip' rather than the hysterical outpourings of 'feelings".

If it’s true that expressing emotion is the key to the life well lived, the healthiest and happiest souls among us would be those who frequently blew their tops – look around you and see this isn’t so. Angry people just get angrier, and then drop dead from high blood pressure or a heart attack; on the way there, they tend to become lonely, as people don’t generally care for being around someone who can go off like Krakatoa over an imagined slight.

Spot on, 'MDJ'!

 

Am I warming to Viktor Orbán?   Difficult to say, really, because I know next to nothing of the man.  My uninformed impression is/was that he was just another east European bully boy with dictatorial leanings.  However, today I read a piece by 'MDC' - yes, another woman in my life! - this time, My Darling Clarice (Feldman) who writes with considerable intelligence for The American Thinker site.  Today she writes:

Despite pressure from the EU, he refused to open his borders to immigrants from Africa and the Arab world, foreseeing that otherwise Hungary’s patrimony -- a Christian ethos -- would be lost. Among those who opposed them was the Hungarian-born American George Soros, who, with his money sheltered from taxation by U.S. foundation tax laws, used those funds to undercut Hungarian nationalist desires. As is often the case, the Soros NGO in effect constituted another political party against which he had to battle to preserve his nationalist agenda. He succeeded against Soros, but then faced a difficult dilemma: The country’s dependence on EU subsidies and the opposition of the leaders of the EPP (the European Peoples Party) which endorses candidates for the Byzantine and undemocratic European Parliament.

Anyone who opposes the mysterious and manipulative George Soros gains my support - for what it's worth!

ADDITIONAL:  For an alternative judgment on Viktor Orbán  try this article at the CAPX site:

https://capx.co/viktor-orban-and-the-corruption-of-conservatism/

 

No more rumbles today

 

 

 

Are we all going mad 'over here' and 'over there?

Well, it looks like it to me.  Our political class, or at least a large proportion of it, both 'over here' and 'over there', appear to be inhabiting a cuckoo universe.  Some 500 of our utterly useless members of Parliament voted to abide by the peoples' vote in the referendum and passed a motion promising to take our country out of the EU by the 29th March 2019.  Ever since then they have done everything they can to thwart it.  It's ominous enough when the 'Peeps' rebel against a Parliament but it is likely to be calamitous when we watch a parliament rebel against the 'Peeps'.  It is unlikely, I think - or hope! - that 'there will be blood' but it could be a close run thing!

Meanwhile, 'over there' one of the two mainstream political parties, the Democrats, appear to be suffering with mass hysteria.  You will see no better example of it than watching Rep. Brian Sims (D) berating an elderly lady who, alone with rosary in hand, was waiting outside a Planned Parenthood abortion factory to offer advice to women seeking their services.  This mentally deranged, bully-boy spends eight minutes following the lady as she walks up and down outside the premises, filming her and shouting abuse at her - to which she has the good grace not to reply and the courage to continue her mission.  Watch it and weep!  (And why didn't someone call the police and have this ignorant oaf arrested?)

Of course, all political parties have their fair number of 'nut-jobs' but, from 'over here', the Democratic party seems suffused with them.  I would urge my American friends to follow our example 'over here' when, in the next election we thrash the Tories for gross incompetence and dishonesty.  By damning the Democrats to the outer reaches of political hell you will, in the end, do them a favour and restore some minimal commonsense and good manners to the shouty 'stoopids' who seem to have taken over what was once a respectable and respected political party.

 

 

To 'vape' or not to 'vape'?

When it comes to cigarettes, I have bragged, many a time and oft', that I switched from being a 60-a-day man to zero in approximately 3.5 seconds!  This came about when I tried to find a space inside my large glass ashtray to stub out the cigarette I had just finished.  Attempting to push the dozens of dog-ends aside in order to find a clear space I was suddenly disgusted and somewhere inside my head a switch was thrown and I stopped on the spot.  No will-power required, I just stopped!

Over at the CAPX site, Matt Ridley has an interesting article on the different approaches to smoking and 'vaping'.  I noticed the other day that my local pub, 'The Tippling Philosopher', has a "No Vaping" sign on the doors and I assumed that it stems from the inordinate amount of 'smoke' that vaping pipes seem to produce although I gather from Mr. Ridley's article that it is not in the slightest degree noxious.  However, there appears to be a campaign afoot to stamp out vaping and Mr. Ridley wonders why?

Take, for example, this recent pronouncement by the mayor of San Francisco: “Tobacco use is the leading cause of preventable disease and death in the United States. Tobacco kills more than 480,000 people a year in this country. That’s more than AIDS, alcohol, car accidents, illegal drugs, murders, and suicides combined.” Therefore, he goes on — in one of the great non-sequiturs of history — he is going to ban e-cigarettes, which have caused none of those deaths and could prevent them, but not ban real cigarettes, which caused nearly all of those deaths.

Well, to be fair, you wouldn't normally expect much in the way of intelligence, let alone commonsense, from any mayor of San Francisco.

The vaping revolution took the world by surprise. Invented in China in 2006, the e-cigarette has caused massive declines in smoking in Britain — more than almost any other country — because of an early decision by the Cameron government to resist calls to ban it. It is the reason we have the lowest cigarette consumption per capita in the G7, and the second lowest in Europe, and one of the lowest incidences of lung cancer.

Well, at least 'Dim Dave' managed to get one thing right which was more than the EU has managed:

The Department of Health got the point, saying in 2017: “We will help people quit smoking by permitting innovative technologies that minimise the risk of harm. We will maximise the availability of safer alternatives to smoking”. But, then, in response to the EU Tobacco Products Directive [my emphasis], it banned advertising of e-cigarettes, and mandated excessively small refill bottles and low nicotine limits. Thus, the opportunity for competition and consumer choice to drive innovation in harm reduction is increasingly stifled, even in Britain, in favour of paternalistic regulation premised on “nanny knows best”, and the fossilised straitjackets of regulation.

Perhaps we could vapourise all of the EU 'apparat'!

 

 

Who turned the heating up?

As all my regulars here at D&N already know, my knowledge of science can only be described as lamentable.  Even so, I do deserve an 'E' for effort as I try to keep half an eye on scientific matters, particularly when I suspect that some of them are, shall we say, less than scientific and more political!  Thus it is with so-called Global Warming.  My mentor in this abstruse subject has always been Mr. Anthony Watts ever since I discovered his site "Watts Up With That".  Way back in the day I came across his site and admired his somewhat different approach to all this AGW panic.

Instead of worrying about the stats produced by 'Warmer' fanatics, he concentrated on the means by which they obtained these stats, that is, the actual measuring devices themselves.  Helped by an army of volunteers from across America, he was able to show that many of these devices had been 'on site' for decades but, unknown or ignored by the 'Warmers', it was evident that the immediate surroundings had changed radically.  What had been a virtual 'green site' in the '40s was now surrounded by concrete and bricks and reflective windows, to say nothing of the myriad air conditioning units pumping out their warm air in the immediate vicinity.  The stats confirmed the panic of the fanatics but they were 'false flags'.

Needless to say, the science has moved on to increasing levels of sophistication including satellite readings.  Here are the main measuring organisations with their exceedingly varied estimations of exactly - er, sort of - how much global temperatures have increased in degrees/centigrade per decade:

AIRS: +0.24 (from the 2019 Susskind et al. study)
GISTEMP: +0.22
ECMWF: +0.20
RSS LT: +0.20
Cowtan & Way: +0.19
UAH LT: +0.18
HadCRUT4: +0.17

Which climate dataset is the right one? Interestingly, the HadCRUT4 dataset, which is managed by a team in the United Kingdom, uses most of the same data GISTEMP uses from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s Global Historical Climate Network. Among the major datasets, HadCRUT4 shows the lowest temperature increase, one that’s nearly identical to UAH.

The other problem with the 'AIRS' reading is that it is based on only 15 years of measurement, far shorter than the basic minimum required of 30 years.  As Mr. Watts reminds us:

The 15-year period in this new study is too short to say much of anything of value about global warming trends, especially since there was a record-setting warm El Niño near the end of that period in 2015 and 2016. [My emphasis]  The El Niño event in the Pacific allowed warm water heated by the Sun to collect, dispersing heat into the atmosphere and thus warming the planet. Greenhouse gas induced “climate change” had nothing to do with it; it was a natural heating process that has been going on for millennia. [My emphasis]

As that well-known climate scientist, er, Prince Hamlet put it, "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

 

 

'Prime Minister' Farage - gulp! - blimey!

Could it happen?  Could 'our Nige' actually win the keys to No. 10?  Well, according to some polls and some 'political know-alls', it is certainly possible.  If Mrs. May continues to stumble-bum her way from one disastrous error to another, and if 'Jezza' Corbyn and his sinister 'apparat' carry on like a "Carry On Up The Kremlin" film, then 'our Nige' could nick it from under their silly Westminster noses.

If so, what sort of a Prime Minister would he be?  Well, if you know, do tell me because I haven't a clue!  I admire him enormously as, arguably, the greatest political force since "that woman"!  Virtually single-handed, he has shifted British politics to an entirely new course.  If the results of the forthcoming European elections are as utterly devastating to the traditional parties as the 'experts' believe, then that will mean Farage's moment has come.  It will suggest that he and his totally inexperienced cabal are capable of seizing power from the traditional parties.

Government is a tricky business and I am not sure if the people surrounding Farage have what it takes to run a powerful and complex government machine.  Mind you, looking at the utter nincompoops - yes, that means you, Gavin Williamson! -  who have been in command recently, it is now clear that 'our Nige' and his mates, or even you and yours, to say nothing of me and mine, couldn't do a worst job!

We shall see what we shall see!

 

 

 

"I am Pilgrim" by Terry Hayes

You may have noticed, but probably did not, that I haven't mentioned Neville Chamberlain and his gang of incompetents for some time.  That may have been a relief for y'all but the person responsible is Mr. Terry Hayes, author of "I am Pilgrim".  To recap my experience with this book, I must have bought it 3 or 4 years ago and began to read it and was seriously impressed with it - until I lost it!  As I am never short of books to read, I swore a bit but got on with something else.  However, even a few chapters made such an impression on me that I never quite forgot it.  A few weeks ago, somehow, in some way, I was reminded of the title and I determined to buy a copy and start again.  At that moment 'the fickle finger of fate' pointed at me and thus, as I was attempting to tidy the utter shambles in my eyrie in the roof, blow me down, I found it.

However, I was deeply into the history of the worst cabinet in British history, er, until the present one, of course, so I decided to split my reading time between the two books.  In the end, the excitement and tension and expertise in Mr. Hayes' book won and Chamberlain was tossed aside.  Mind you, it runs, in paperback form, to nearly 900 pages plus, it has a convoluted plot and a myriad of characters so it became almost a non-stop read.

This, as you may have guessed, is a 'rave review'!  Mr. Hayes writes good, clear English but his plot-line wanders around the world.  It begins with the 9/11 attack in New York and soon we are introduced to his American hero, an ultra-secret agent on the point of retirement but who has been invited to attend a crime site in the city by an NYPD detective.  From that point on it is rather like riding a roller-coaster as the story line extends to Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Turkey and Bulgaria.  In essence, our 'hero' discovers a lone, Islamist terrorist who has the means and the motive to achieve a monstrous slaughter in America which will make 9/11 look like a minor incident!

The skill with which Mr. Hayes lays out his plot is simply superb.  He has experience in the film industry and you sense that his ability to invent scenes and then manouvre his characters in and out of them stems from his movie background.  The tension rises and I must warn anyone with a weakness for nail-biting that they should beware chewing down to their nuckles!

Ah well, it's back to dear, dumb Neville for me - ohdearwhatapitynevermind!

 

 

 

A humble petition, Your Majesty, from your loyal subject

Please, please, Ma'am, can you get a grip of all your various and exceedingly numerous 'youngsters' and tell them to stop reproducing!  In the last few years it has been a non-stop reproduction process and every time it occurs our 'meeja' lose all restraint and go berserk.  For example, this morning, following Harry and Meghan's totally normal, everyday procedure, I had to plough through 22 pages of The Daily Mail before I found any news of other events.  

And if I may presume, Ma'am, may I humbly entreat you to issue an invitation to Meghan's dear, old Dad when the christening becomes imminent.  Yes, yes, Ma'am, I do realise that he sounds like 'a very naughty boy' but he would, perhaps, inject some much needed humour into the proceedings - and I'm sure he and 'Phil' would get along very well together!  

 

 

The script of a commercial for 'Barney Magroo'

I understand that Mr. Barney Magroo (Purveyor of Fine Wines and Spirits to the Gentry of Arkansas) has decided that in this prohibition-free era, he should venture forth from his still up in 'them thar hills' and, under the guidance of his Public Relations manager (known here as 'JK'), he should become 'legit'!  To that end, I offer him the script for a new TV commercial written by some new kid on the block called Master W. Shakespeare.  Despite my having once played this role, modesty forbids that I hint who should deliver these magisterial lines!

Good faith, this same young sober-blooded boy doth not love me; nor a man cannot make him laugh; but that's no marvel, he drinks no wine.

There's never none of these demure boys come to any proof; for thin drink doth so over-cool their blood, and making many fish-meals, that they fall into a kind of male green-sickness; and then when they marry, they get wenches: they are generally fools and cowards; which some of us should be too, but for inflammation.

A good sherris sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me into the brain; dries me there all the foolish and dull and curdy vapours which environ it; makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble fiery and
delectable shapes, which, delivered o'er to the voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. The second property of your excellent sherris is, the warming of the blood; which, before cold and settled, left the liver
white and pale, which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice; but the sherris warms it and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extreme:

it illumineth the face, which as a beacon gives warning to all the rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm; and then the vital commoners and inland petty spirits muster me all to their captain, the heart, who, great and puffed up with this retinue, doth any deed of courage; and this valour comes of sherris. So that skill in the weapon is nothing without sack, for that sets it a-work; and learning a mere hoard of gold kept by a devil, till sack commences it and sets it in act and use.

Hereof comes it that Prince Harry is valiant; for the cold blood he did naturally inherit of his father, he hath, like lean, sterile and bare land,
manured, husbanded and tilled with excellent endeavour of drinking good and good store of fertile sherris, that he is become very hot and valiant.

If I had a thousand sons, the first humane principle I would teach them should be, to forswear thin potations and to addict themselves to sack.

By Jove, that should work up a good thirst in Little Rock!

 

 

 

Take cover - incoming 'luvvie-talk'!

A production of Chekhov's play "Three Sisters" has opened recently in London.  Alas, I cannot remember the reviewer's exact words but it was along the lines of : 'Three Sisters' opens. Nothing happens. 'Three Sisters' ends.  That is cruel but sort of true but also not the entire truth.

The three sisters, Olga, Masha and Irina, live, or exist, in a small town in the vast hinterland of Russia, than which there is no more emptier space in the entire universe!  They are, what I can only call, ardent 'yearners'.  They yearn constantly for all the things they do not have - mostly love and Moscow!  It sounds like an utterly miserable play, and it is, but throughout it is laced with Russian humour - and that is a quality that takes some getting used to!   I once played the role of Col. Vershinin, the commander of a local regiment and a prize pontificating prat of the first order!  Masha falls for him and both of them think they have discovered the love of the century.  Perhaps they have but as he is married with two children it will never come to anything, and so they part.

All these dreamers and 'yearners' seem ridiculous at first sight but gradually their frail humanity gleams through and, if the production is good enough, you feel their humanity and their frailty, and also, in the end, their courage.  The play ends with Olga, the elder and matronly daughter delivering this speech as the sound of the town band is heard in the distance;

OLGA [embraces both her sisters]. The music is so happy, so confident, and you long for life! O my God! Time will pass, and we shall go away for ever, and we shall be forgotten, our faces will be forgotten, our voices, and how many there were of us; but our sufferings will pass into joy for those who will live after us, happiness and peace will be established upon earth, and they will remember kindly and bless those who have lived before. Oh, dear sisters, our life is not ended yet. We shall live! The music is so happy, so joyful, and it seems as though in a little while we shall know what we are living for, why we are suffering. . . . If we only knew -- if we only knew! 

Done right, that is one of the most moving passages in theatre.

 

 

 

Ms. Julie Birchill, and George Orwell, are spot on!

Ms. Birchill, a lady I would hesitate, nay, tremble, to take on in an argument pulls on her 'bovver boots' (I bet she wore them back in her day) and gives those oh-so superior, Lefty, metropolitan prats who lord it over us 'untermenschen' a hefty kick where it hurts!  She quotes the results of a poll by the 'YouGov-Cambridge Globalism survey' which showed that we Brits are more open and agreeable to immigration than any other European country except Poland. 

Only 37 per cent of us Britons [my emphasis] are of the opinion that the cons outweigh the pros – less than any other people except the Poles. We showed the highest level of support of any country for qualified professionals coming to the UK with a job offer, with 80 per cent agreeing they were good for the country. In a further trouncing of the knee-jerk “gammon” stereotype, more British men than women are in favour of immigration.

It will come as a shock to all those Brit-hating liberal, Euro fanatics who insist that the 'plebs' are a bunch of proto-fascists who hate all foreigners.  

George Orwell had these types bang to rights: “It is a strange fact, but it is unquestionably true that almost any English intellectual would feel more ashamed of standing to attention during God Save the King than of stealing from a poor-box.”

The simple truth is that you do NOT have to be a foreigner-hating bigot just because you value the many good things achieved by your own country.

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 5.5.19

'Will no one rid me of this turbulent Prime Minister?'   And so she goes on and on and on, ever deeper into a suffocating bog of non-Brexit ordure.  She is fooling no-one, except herself, and her last effort in which she pleads for 'dear Jeremy' to give her a hand out of the latrine, is beyond stupid and into the a land of make-believe.  The only worry I have is that if she and Labour stitch up a deal in the next few days and then ram it through parliament it may give her a chance to dodge the European elections, the result of which will make yesterday's massacre of the Tory party look like a bun-fight!

 

Oooops, sorry for my absence!   Well, I did my gardening but when I came in for tea I took 'a short course in death'.  Dammit, all that fresh air is bad for you!

 

Don't mess with 'The Donald'!   According to a news report, 'The Donald' has decided that the USA/China trade talks are going nowhere so he has decided to up the 10% tariff on $200 billion of goods to 25%!  In addition, he has warned that a further $325 billion of Chinese goods could be added to the list if a trade deal is not agreed.  That should wipe the smirk off Xi Ping-a-ling's face!

 

Pompeii:   Entirely by accident I caught a programme on 'Channel 5' tonight on the subject of Pompeii.  It was fascinating and there is another episode tomorrow at 21.00hrs.  I once visited the neighbouring city of Herculaneum and it was, quite literally, a day I will never forget.  Herculaneum is smaller than Pompeii and it was generally populated by the wealthier citizens from the bigger city.  As I understand it, the stuff that landed on Herculaneum from Vesuvius carbonised - whatever that means! -  and thus preserved the town in much better detail.  I have been lucky to have visited various places and cities and sites around the world but Herculaneum, frozen in time from AD79, made far ans away the biggest impression.  Try and catch the programme on Pompeii if you can.

 

No more rumbles today - and, boy, will I sleep well tonight!

 

 

 

Now here's a problem I am happy NOT to solve

As usual, it is the ever excellent Spectator that raises it in the words of a man, an eminent QC, no less, who knows where-of he writes!

I have been a defence lawyer for more than 25 years. I have defended clients charged with almost every crime there is.

[…]

Of all the crimes and misdemeanours I have seen, all the improbable tales and shocking lies in the witness box, what sticks with me most about the criminal justice system is the utter simplicity of the one thing that lies behind almost all of it. People want to take drugs and nothing will stop them.  [My emphasis]

I must confess that I know next to nothing about the subject although, of course, I never cease to skim-read some of the constant, day in and day out reports of the worst and most tragic outcomes of the drug trade and drug consumerism.  As m' Learned Friend points out, despite all the various and hugely expensive efforts to stamp out the drug trade - nothing works!  The only tangible result is that the street price goes up, as do the profits which enrich the supply chain even more.

To most professionals like me, with long and direct experience of the world of drugs and crime, there is nothing more baffling than the continuing attempt to use laws to prevent people taking drugs. Drug laws are made, arrests continue, sentences get longer, prisons get fuller, more young people are shot and stabbed, but the neat packages of white and brown powder still arrive with unstoppable efficiency.

I cannot pretend to an even miniscule knowledge of the subject compared to m' Learned Friend but his argument is powerful.  It reminds me of the futility of the old American effort to ban booze - criminality went up along with the profits but people went on drinking.  So perhaps, with a gulp and crossed fingers, we should try the same thing with drugs.

'Wotcha' fink?'

 

 

The political centrifuge is spinning - better watch out!

Not all of the local government results are in yet but it is already clear that both the Tories and Labour have been either ignored or slapped by the voters.  This, of course, has left space for the LibDems and/or the 'Greenies' to creep in but before they become too excited they should take account of 'The Man Who Wasn't There', a.k.a. Nigel Farage.  His new Brexit party was not formed in time to take part in these local elections but already they are forming up for the European elections next month.  That should send the political centrifuge into even higher speed and I suspect that the ground will be knee-deep in cast off Tories and Labourites.

There are simply no words to describe the never-ending disaster of Mrs. May's premiership which truly does go from bad to worse to disastrous.  She really is 'as thick as six short Ghurkhas' and, alas, is driven by an over-weening ambition to cling on to the keys of No. 10 no matter what.  Of course, as per usual, I sense 'incoming S.o.D.' who will lecture me to the effect that it is all my fault for supporting Brexit because, you see, in his EU-besotted mind, 'the Peeps' should never be asked for their opinion on anything, they should just follow their wise, intelligent leaders on the path to perdition and remember to say 'thank you' as they are led into the "slough of despond"!

Well, this time 'the Peeps' failed to follow orders and next month they will break into open revolt and the politicians from both major parties will be loaded onto the tumbrils and carted off to political execution.  After that, chaos will reign and that is not good for anyone.  However, it will not be our fault, the blame will rightly be attached to politicians who asked us, 'the Peeps', for a decision - and then threw our reply into our faces!

 

 

If you're British, do NOT read this book!

Sorry to bore on - again - er, and again but I am forced to reverse my urgings for you all to read Tim Bouverie's superb book, "Appeasing Hitler: Chamberlain, Churchill and the Road to War", especially if you are British!  I have now reached the contretemps over Czechoslovakia which led to Chamberlain's two ludicrous visits to Hitler and it is excruciatingly painful!  Without knowing fully the details, it has always embarrassed me particularly after I made my one and only visit a few years ago to that delightful country which we threw to the Hitlerian dogs in 1938.  Needless to say, because I have already said it over and over again, Mr. Bouverie's history is impeccable and fascinating, in the sense that watching a horror story unfold can often be fascinating.

I should make clear that I do not agree with the notion that Britain should have gone to war over the Sudetenland and Czechoslovakia.  We were too weak and much too far away.  Neither of our, er, 'allies', France and Russia, had the slightest intention of joining us if we had declared war so it would have gone down in history as an utterly useless gesture of the most dangerous and futile kind but it was a cruel hoax to offer the Czechs a last, futile hope. However, what we should have done is put our economy on a war footing, as we had to do in 1939.  In fact we should have started that when Baldwin was Prime Minister.  As it was, only very modest improvements were made to the armed forces - yes, there were a few more Spitfires but hardly anymore battleships and aircraft carriers, and the army ranks remained pitifully small.

What makes sickening reading is the huge numbers of people, not only politicians, who were not prepared to make any effort to re-arm in a significant way whether because they were too 'frit' to contemplate war, or were actually sympathetic to German aims.  As I watch today the utter shambles that Theresa May's non-government has become, I get a real-life notion of how things must have been in 1938.  It was, and is, utterly shameful!

 

 

 

'Pte. Pike' gets the sack!

Oddly enough, when the news broke that a member of the cabinet had leaked to the media the decision rubber-stamped by Mrs. May to allow the Chinese firm Huawei to have a role in the new, 'whizzy-do' communications scheme known as '5G', I instantly thought of that young 'thruster' Gavin Williamson MP.  To quote an exceedingly old expression, 'I never did quite like the cut of his jib'!  In fact, I was astonished when he greased his way up to the role of Minister of Defence - God help us, I thought.

The decision on '5G', pushed through by Mrs. May, was taken at a meeting of the Top Secret National Security Council where it is strictly forbidden for anyone to leak anything.  It is also exceedingly 'stoopid' for anyone to do it because the entire weight of MI5 and GCHQ will come down on it like a ton of bricks.  If it was Williamson - he denies it fervently - then it confirms my suspicion that he is a young dimwit promoted far above his abilities and his intelligence.  Who promoted him?  Well, our equally dim-witted Prime Minister, that's who!  Really, in a sense, they deserve each other.

With such idiocy at the top, I truly fear for my country!

 

 

 

Baltimore bombs!

I am exceedingly upset that the city of Baltimore is a wreck because I know it so well!  This may be a surprise to the citizens of Baltimore, or at least, those that are left, because actually I have never set foot in the place!  However, 'back in the day', I was an avid fan of "Homicide: Life on the Street" and then the superlative series that followed, "The Wire".  From that you can see why my knowledge of the place is from the gutters up!

Even back then it had the look and feel of a city sinking into its own sewers and today, the news that the second Mayor in ten years is under investigation for corruption confirms my worst fears.  The cause of this decrepitude is simple - single party politics.  The Democrats have run the place for decades, indeed, every Mayor since 1967 has been a Democrat.  Ms. Marta Mossberg at The National Review spells out the details:

But crime is only one of Baltimore’s many problems. The vast majority of the city’s public-school children can’t read or write at grade level. When they graduate from high school, 70 percent of Baltimore City public school students who enter a two- or four-year college need remedial help in basic reading and math. And then there are the massive water-main breaks that regularly halt commerce, and the 17,000 vacant houses pockmarking the city like ghosts of the city’s past stature.

No wonder so many people are voting with their feet and leaving. Last year’s census figures showed that, of the 30 largest cities in the United States, only Baltimore and Detroit lost population. Baltimore had shrunk to a population not seen for 100 years. This year’s census figures show another population decline of 1.2 percent to just over 600,000 residents and no signs of stopping.

Needless to say, everything you hear about Baltimore more or less applies to Chicago and Detroit, two other single party cities that invite corruption and destitution.

 

ADDITIONAL:   I cannot allow mention of 'The Wire' to pass without mention of the superb acting from the entire cast.  In particular, that frightfully posh, Eton-educated Brit, Dominic West, who played a Baltimore cop to perfection.  Then there was the unforgettable Andre Royo who played 'Bubbles', a down and out drug addict and police informant.  Also, Idris Elba, a Brit like Dominic West but from the opposite end of the social scale having been born and raised in East London.  He played, superbly, the role of 'Stringer Bell', a very tough drug-gang leader - and his career has shot onwards and upwards ever since.  I could go on and on but honesty impels me to admit that I thought the 4th series was less interesting and, alas, I never managed to catch the fifth and final series.  I think it's time I treated myself to the complete box-set.

 

 

 

Why would anyone read The New York Times?

I meant to comment at the time, a few days ago, on this particular example of a rancid dog-pile dropped in the middle of a recent edition of The New York Times.  It shows a blind Donald Trump complete with yarmulke being pulled along by an Israeli dog with the face of Benjamin Netanyahu.

 

It is, of course, like most cartoons, an exaggerated lie but like the 'best' of cartoons it is immensely powerful.  In fact, Trump is no more being 'led' by Netanyahu than the Israeli Prime Minister is being 'led' by Trump.  They are both pursuing their political and strategic aims as they see them and as both of them face dangers from Arabic/Islamic enemies then there are bound to be areas of mutual self-interest.  As the old proverb has it, "The enemy of my enemy is my friend!"  Churchill said much the same thing when Russia was attacked by Germany.

Even so, given the lividity of the cartoon, it is obvious that there is more behind it than just strategic politics.  It plays to the very heart of the old anti-Semitic belief that Jews secretly pull the strings of everything of importance in world affairs.  Of course, Israelis do try and do that but then so does everyone else!  The USA doesn't so much 'pull strings' as yank (no pun intended!) on ropes, just as Great Britain used to do 'back in the day', and now the Chinese do with increasing effect.  However, in this particular case, it is obvious that the main aim of the cartoonist was to ram home his own personal Jew-hatred based, no doubt, on all the old anti-Semitic tropes which never seem to die.  That The New York Times gave it space, tells you all you need to know about that particularly disgusting organisation.

None of that, of course, should inhibit anyone from criticising Israeli policy!

 

 

Let me introduce you to, er, Mr. Wlady Pleszczynski

And no, I can't pronounce his name, either, but even so he remains one of my political/journalistic heroes.  He was the back office businessman who stood behind R. Emmett Tyrell when he started The American Spectator, of which, back in the day, I was a subscriber to their print editions - yes, that far back!  These two men deserve, but will never receive, a 'yuuuuuuuuuge' medal for their dismemberment of Bill Clinton's Presidency when they dug into all those Clintonian scams in 'good ol' Arkansas'.

Anyway, 'Vlad', as I will call him because at least I can pronounce it, has written a rarity of an article praising - yes, actually praising! - 'The Donald'.

For his troubles he’s been savaged and dehumanized by a crazed, bigoted opposition that refuses to play by any rules once thought the norm in our politics and culture. Even before his election he was being sabotaged by his opponent, the ruling administration, U.S. intelligence, and the FBI. Same thing in the two and half months leading up to his inauguration. And ever since, by the permanent fruits of bigger government and the cockroaches scurrying along its corridors, including commissars under the control of a so-called special counsel who’s destroying America’s rule of law. And all this with kneejerk media encouragement and approval — unconstitutionality as we’ve never seen in the U.S. before, by forces that depict themselves as a “resistance” and who argue that Donald Trump’s constitutionally protected presidential actions are a sure sign of tyrannical intent. 

Yes, I think that about sums it up even if I, personally, do think 'The Donald' brings much of the spite upon himself with his personal eccentricities.  Even so, as 'Vlad', in effect, asks, does he really deserve this sort of thing - with my emphasis added:

As I write, Joe Scarborough has just said Trump has caused more harm to the U.S. than 9/11 did. In the New York Review, which I thought will be the last liberal organ to retain its senses, Garry Wills calls for stepped-up resistance to Trump, because “If we wait until the tyrant kills six million Jews before tyrannicide is contemplated, we are actually facilitating tyranny.”

Well said, 'Vlad', and I am delighted that your magazine holds truth above hysteria.

 

 

Your Monday Funnies: 29.4.19

Every one a winner - honestly!

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly marriage
seminars for husbands.

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was
approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her back to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'

The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?"

Giuseppe proudly replied, "I gonna' go pick her up."

[Er, sorry the lousy accent!]

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

 

To All my friends who are Grandfathers.

Yesterday my eldest daughter e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time, as if sitting around the pool, and drinking gin isn’t a good thing. Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation. She is "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested that I go down to the Senior Citizens Center and hang out with the fellas.

So, I did, and when I got home,I sent her an e-mail saying that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club.

She replied, "Are you nuts? You're 68 years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.

Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club. ”

"Oh man, am I in trouble," I said. "I signed up for five jumps a week!"

The line went dead.  Life as a Senior Citizen isn't getting any easier, but sometimes, it can be fun.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

 

IN RESPONSE TO ALL RECENT E-MAILS ABOUT OUR DOG:

PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT HIM.

YES, HE BIT TWO PEOPLE WEARING BURKAS:

TEN PEOPLE WEARING TURBANS,

TWENTY PEOPLE WEARING JEREMY CORBYN T-SHIRTS,

TWO CAR DRIVERS WITH RAP MUSIC BLARING FROM THEIR VEHICLES,

FOUR JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES,

TWO MORMONS,

NINE TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING PAST THEIR ASS CRACKS,

THREE MUSLIMS AND A PAKISTANI TAXI DRIVER.

FOR THE LAST TIME. . .THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!

 

That's it, have a good week in the salt mines!

 

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 28.4.19

Yesterday was a double good day:  First of all, the 'Memsahib' had the dressing on her right hand removed because the wound has healed nicely.  Second of all, we went shopping and bought a ready-cooked chicken - well, it was bound to be better than if I had cooked it! - and the 'Memsahib' suddenly remembered a recipe she hasn't done for ages - 'Chicken Mustard'!  In this, the chicken is chopped into small bits and heated in a sauce made up of cream, dry mustard, mushrooms, Worcester sauce and various other bits and pieces. (Exact recipe to follow later when she is up and about!)  Unencumbered by the dressing on her right hand she was able to throw that together and it was 'scrummy, Mummy'!  Well, there are only so many cheese on toasts you can eat when I am running the kitchen!

 

The second good thing yesterday:  A couple of weeks ago, for a reason I cannot recall, I was reminded of one of the very best thrillers I have ever read.  "I Am Pilgrim" by Terry Hayes.  Er, the other thing I cannot recall is what the damned book was about!  I know it featured some smart-arse, American secret agent and that it ended up - natch! - somewhere in the Middle East - I think!  However, what I did recall was how much I enjoyed it and so, given the reminder, I decided to buy a copy for my Kindle.  Like all my good intentions, I never quite got around to it and anyway, as y'all do know because I never stop boring on about it, I am still deep into the 'brown stuff' that was the British political scene in the 1930s.  Anyway, yesterday, in a half-hearted attempt to tidy up the shambles in my attic, I sorted through a pile of old paperbacks and - HOORAH! - I found my original copy.  Last night I read the first five chapters and I was right - it's a corker!

 

Dan Hodges asks the critical question:   Once again, I am grateful to Mr. Dan Hodges in The Mail for asking the truly critical question of the day: 

Who runs Britain? Who is actually responsible for the governance of our nation this morning?

Chillingly, he answers his own question:

It isn’t the Prime Minister. Mrs May holds that title, but has relinquished any grip on the office. The only meaningful decision left for her now is the announcement of the date of her departure from Downing Street.
It’s not the Cabinet. As the Huawei debacle has revealed, their focus is no longer on running the Government but jostling for the premiership. The views of the voters of Britain are now secondary to the views of the 120,000 members of the Tory Party who will be eligible to vote in the upcoming leadership election.

Sorry to re-use a hoary, old cliche but 'power abhors a vacuum'.  Who or what fills this particular hole I do not know.  I hope that the local and then the European elections devastate the Tory party because, to paraphrase 'the good Doctor', 'nothing concentrates a mind like a hanging in the morning!'  Also, it will be truly delicious to send Farage's army of Brexiteers to Brussels! 

 

A 75th Anniversary to be remembered but not celebrated:   I am grateful to The Telegraph for reminding me of the ghastly tragedy that occurred 75 years ago at Slapton Sands in Devon.

On that beautiful stretch of seaside, 75 years ago today, at least 749 American soldiers and sailors lost their lives.  They were practicing for the D-Day landings which would take place a few weeks hence.  Unhappily, they were caught by a small flotilla of German E-boats who took them by surprise and inflicted dreadful casualties.  "We shall remember them."

 

Message from the 'Memsahib':  As promised, the recipe for Chicken Mustard:

Chicken Mustard- Serves four

½ pint double cream
2 tablespoons Mango chutney
1 tablespoon Worcester sauce
1 Dessert spoon dry Colman mustard
1/4lb Mushrooms sliced

Method:

Mix all ingredients together, heat the mix for half an hour at 170⁰ and then pour over the chicken pieces. 
Pork chops are good as well.

ENJOY!!!!!

 

Dotty Dipstick of the Year!   Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you - no, go on, take her, she's all yours - the dumbest blonde Dame ever, Dame Emma Thompson:

With star-like stupidity she flew all the way from California, laying a carbon carpet as she went, in order to join all those pig-ignorant prats who brought central London to a standstill in order to, er, 'save the planet'!  Thank you, darling, now fly back where you came from and don't bother coming again!

 

That damned fickle Finn!   I refer, of course, to Valtteri Bottas who, dammit, is supposed to be the No.2 driver for Mercedes thus assisting (Sir) Lewis to yet another well deserved victory.  Instead, he nicked first place leaving (Sir) Lewis to finish second - the bounder!  Mind you, it was an impeccable drive.

 

No more rumbles today!

 

 

 

Lord Adonis didn't turn his coat, he threw it away and nicked another one!

Lord Andrew Adonis does not loom large in my life, nor, I suppose, in yours.  He flutters about in the (s0 called) corridors of power.  You see him here, you see him there, you see him everywhere and he is never short of a comment on any given subject.  He is, I suspect, a slippery 'corridor prowler', forever slithering hither and thither along the highways and by-ways of Whitehall and Westminster.  Having accepted a peerage he has avoided all that messy electioneering business, you know, when you have to tell the dreaded 'Peeps' what you believe in and then, a few years later explain why it all went 'tits up'!  Instead, he creeps about on the editorial pages of the Guardian and the Observer pontificating on this, that and the other.  Nobody listens because, of course, Adonis has absolutely no power.

A few years ago, having junked the Lib Dems, he threw in his lot with Labour.  From this perch, he has maintained a chorus of 'Remainer' agit-prop and launched barrages against what he considers to be the idiotic Brexiteers.  As Alex Massie reminds us over at 'CAPX': 

As recently as last December, Labour peer Andrew Adonis averred that “British politics for the next generation will divide into those who resisted Brexit and those who promoted or appeased it. I will never fully trust or respect anyone who wasn’t in the resistance from the beginning”.

But that was before 'Jezza', and his enforcer, Seamus Milne, whacked him across the kidneys with a truncheon and told him to straighten up and fly right!  To be fair, they also offered him a sweetener in the form of a Labour Party candidacy to run in the forthcoming European elections.  Needless to say, Adonis folded instantly.

Alex Massie ends his evisceration of Adonis, thus:

“I do not believe” [Adonis the committed 'Remainer'] continued, “that the real divide in our society is between people who voted to remain or to leave the EU. The real divide is between the many and the few. As socialists, we must stand up for the many.”

Deliciously, “A vote for Labour is a vote for so much more than Brexit” – though, by jove, it’s certainly a vote for Brexit too – “A vote for Labour is a vote for a more prosperous, fair and united country”. I imagine Seumas Milne enjoyed dictating that.

Someone please pass the sickbag!

 

 

 

'Carry On' on round the Azerbaijan Grand Prix!

For the benefit of my foreign readers who may be even more mystified by my heading than they are normally, let me explain that from the 1960s onwards there have been an enormous series of comedy - well, sort of comedy! - films under the 'Carry On' banner which were the cinematic equivalent of those old and very naughty seaside postcards which we all enjoyed 'back in the day'.  Yesterday, in what might be called "Carry On Round the Azerbaijan Grand Prix", the track supervisors failed to fix a manhole cover which collapsed and wrecked a Formula One car.

However, the comedy did not end there.  A recovery truck was despatched to lift the wreck and take it back to the pits for a rebuild but on the way round it hit an overhead pedestrian bridge and wrecked that!  To be honest, I am not too sure where Azerbaijan is but I'm thinking of paying it a visit because it sounds like a laugh a minute!

 

 

George Eaton is a journalistic shit!

Well, it doesn't help that George Eaton is the deputy editor of The New Statesman which, of course, is not a political magazine but merely an extreme Left-wing, agit-prop rag produced for the sole purpose of denigrating by any means possible, fair or foul, anyone of Right-wing sensibilities.  Thus it was that Eaton conducted an 'interview' with Sir Roger Scruton, a distinguished philosopher and historian and supporter of traditional conservative values.  The result was a deliberately mangled piece of distortion which attempted to show Sir Roger as the worst sort of racist.

Needless to say, anyone who has ever read even a couple of paragraphs of Sir Roger's voluminous writings would have instantly dismissed the whole heap of New Statesman odure as complete rubbish.  Unsurprisingly, it was Douglas Murray in The Spectator who managed to get his hands on a recording of the actual interview and he has comprehensively demolished Eaton who has now been forced to retract some of his worst comments.  Also, this contretemps says everything you need to know about our utterly useless government that Scruton was sacked within five hours of Eaton's bilge flowing up from the sewer!

How dumb do you have to be to become a Deputy Editor of The New Statesman?  And how dumb do you have to be to buy a copy and actually read it?

 

 

Honestly, m'Lud, I just can't help myself!

Yes, that damned kleptomania bug has hit me again and helpless in its grasp I am forced to steal this excellent cartoon from the estimable 'American Thinker' site:

Hospital visit this morning so the 'Memsahib' can get her dressings changed, followed by a maxi-shop to stock up with grub for me to ruin over the weekend!  Back this afternoon - with luck!

 

 

 

In which I opine on a subject about which I know nothing

So no change there, then!  Even so, when it comes to, er, the UK's new 5G network-thingie, I am in a stygian blackout of total ignorance.  You may judge that from the fact that my first question was what happened to the 1G, 2G, 3G and 4G networks?  However, I do realise that this is all something to do with computerised 'jiggery-pokery' somewhat similar to the sort of thing 'SoD' drones on about and therefor far above and beyond my ken.  

Nevertheless, even a stone age dinosaur like me dimly realises that in this 'brave new world', these things are critically important.  Not just to allow me to bore for Britain on this blog but for a zillion other connections and networks which actually keep our world ticking over.  Any breakdown and chaos looms!

So, I wonder, who was the brain-dead moron who agreed to hand over a chunk of this new 5G-thingie - to the Chinese?  Well, of course, it was Theresa May - who else?  I do realise that any attempt to inject a miniscule of common-sense into that silly woman's noodle is certain to fail but is it truly impossible for her to grasp the 'yuuuuuuuuuge', and growing 'yuuuuuuuuuger' by the day, fact that China is our enemy?!  They hate us and they wish us nothing but harm.  To be honest, given our history, I am not sure I can blame them but it is critical that our so-called leaders understand that the Chinese government will do anything, at the appropriate time, to wreck our country.  Not today, possibly not tomorrow and maybe not next year - but certainly at some time that suits their game plan, they will pull away the props they control and bring the roof crashing down on Britain.

In the same way that our ruling class failed to understand that the EU hierarchy are our deadly enemies, so they blithely hand over power to the Chinese murder machine!

 

 

Please, Donald, pretty please, just don't visit!

Don't misunderstand, Mr. President, it's not that we - or at least a good number of us - don't 'lurve' you, and we certainly 'lurve' your country - er, well, most of it - but if you come over to visit 'Her Maj' in June, the toilets, the sewers, the dustbins, the waste-tips will all overflow and the pig ignorant, single brain cell, knuckle-draggers will pour forth onto our streets and there will be mayhem!  Poor old London town which stood up so bravely under the blitz will be inundated with teen-age nose-pickers who will wreck the place.  Needless to say, 'the Plod' will be delighted to take all the overtime they can get but will not lift a finger, let alone a baton, to clear the streets.  The damage will be 'yuuuuuuge'!

So, please, stay at home and watch the golf!

 

 

Concerning HMAS Sydney and HSK Kormoran

In my long history of producing puzzling headings to my posts, this wins top prize!  To be fair, the prize should go to my good friend, Richard, who graces the comments here from time to time.  Like me he is an unrepentant 'book-a-holic' and he sent me a recommendation for "The Search for the Sydney" by David Mearns.  In essence, it investigates the sinking of HMAS Sydney, a 6" Cruiser sent to the bottom with all hands by a small German torpedo boat disguised as a merchant ship during WWII.  It was Australia's worst naval disaster.  Richard thought it might be of interest to me but, alas, my pile of 'waiting to be read' books would block the light to my attic - were they not stored in my Kindle!  Anyway, Richard gives it a 5* review and so I pass it on to all you nautical chaps who visit this site.

I sense incoming 'AussieD'!

 

 

Hindsight is so awfully useful when it comes to history!

As I am finding out the hard way as I work my way through Tim Bouverie's superb book, "Appeasing Hitler: Chamberlain, Churchill and the Road to War".  How I chuckle at the dunderheads who kept getting it 'wrong', and weep for the victims who were being lined up to suffer.  And yet ... and yet ... I do so because I know how it all turned out!  They, 'the good, the bad and the ugly', did not know!  Although some of them were better informed than others, none of them knew for sure what lay in the future.  Churchill, of course, appears to be the consistent hero of the tragedy because he, and a tiny band of supporters, consistently called for war against Hitler.  However, it is neccessary to remind ourselves that Churchill loved war!  He didn't much mind with whom he went to war just so long as war was the result and he could, in effect, re-enact his famous cavalry charge at Omdurman!  As it turned out, Churchill wasn't that great as a war leader as both Gallipoli and Norway demonstrated!  Admittedly, at the Grand Strategic level in WWII, Great Britain had an exceedingly weak hand to play and that wasn't Churchill's fault.

At the other end of the scale were the weakling pacifists supported, for most of the time, by a British public still nursing the wounds of 1914-18.  It is impossible to blame these people - they knew where-of they suffered!  Thus, whilst it is probably true that a very much stronger line taken much earlier in Hitler's reign might have considerably beneficial results, it is necessary to remember that once the bullets begin to fly, no-one can be sure of anything.

So far, my incomplete reading of Mr. Bouverie's book simply leaves me muttering the words of the tragic Othello: "O Iago, the pity of it, Iago!"

 

 

 

Well, at least you had a non-irritated Easter!

Apologies for my absence over the last couple of days and I am sure you can guess the reason.  One of the main problems is that the 'Memsahib' needs to visit the hospital every other day in order to have her dressings changed and her wounds inspected for any signs of infection.  Excellent notion, of course, but that can take 2-3 hours out of the day - then there's shopping, cooking (well, my rough approximation of it!), tidying/cleaning and, worst of all, planning ahead!  And, yes, yes, Ladies, I know you do that everyday of your lives but us chaps are not used to it - or to be absolutely frank, we're crap at it!  Even so, I would like to thank you all for your good wishes which I have passed on to her 'ladyship' and which cheered her up.  

Gradually, very gradually, I am getting the hang of this 'domestication thingie' so I hope to be blogging a bit more from now on.  One thing that happened the other day left me totally 'gob-smacked'!  I had slumped into my armchair for a nap and the TV, as usual was tuned to the news (which is uniformly ghastly) and so I decided to flick around the channels.  In the equivalent of inadvertently treading in an enormous dog-pile, I came across the "Jeremy Kyle Show" - yeeeees, quite!

This odious little man, and the even more odious people who pull his strings, set out to find totally dysfunctional families and invite them on TV to air their mutual hatreds in public.  If the people at the studio end of this disgusting 'entertainment' are total shits, what can one say of the gawping public who, week in and week out, regularly tune in to watch this garbage?

Pass the sick bag!