Blog powered by Typepad

« The sort of brutal truth only your friends can tell you! | Main | "Deliver Israel, O God, out of all his troubles"! »

Tuesday, 18 July 2006


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

When reality strikes, things will be hard for that generation.

Is that what you were like back when you were there, David?

What happened?

Not likely, 'NIB', as Pte. Duff, I started married life living in a truly grotty flat in Singapore city, and more-over, as the only white family in a street of Chinese, Malays, Indians and a family of Sephardic Jews. I should add that the Jewish lady was the only person in the street with a TV and as the front of her house consisted of a series of folding doors which were always open to the street, most of the inhabitants gathered in there night and day, jabbering away in a variety of languages, chewing beetle nuts, whilst the volume of the TV was at full blast. 'Son of Duff' was frequently dumped there when my social life demanded it and used to sleep blissfully through all the racket - a habit that has stood him in good stead ever since!

Yes, yes, but did you get a puppy?

Later on, yes, but she was a street mutt, definitely not a 'Yishi'!

Ye gods! This is a spoof, right?

Thanks a bloomin' million, David. Now I have to get all the way home on the hottest day of the year with a severe case of blog-induced nausea.

Sorry, Andy, they're the genuine article. What's worse is that after a while it becomes addictive.

Self-indulgent claptrap.

I'll take a martini Duff. Blech! At least they should post pics of Leah in a bikini to keep my interest.

Gosh David - stop the press. Young married couple in slightly-soppy-shocker. Will wonders never cease?

If you want something a bit more substantial to get your teeth into I recommend this:

Just watch it, young 'Teabag', or I shall unleash the Leah upon you!

"We are legally blonde again and I am always right"

I can understand how you'd sympathise with at least one of those positions. I reckon you and Leah would get on like a house on fire!

Although I am becoming suspicious that we'll never see you in the same room together, if you know what I mean...

"Although I am becoming suspicious that we'll never see you in the same room together, if you know what I mean..."

No, sorry, 'NIB', don't quite get that one - too subtle for me!

However, Leah's remark to the effect that Singapore hair-dressers can be tricky reminded me of my first visit to the place when I was in the Paras and they sent us there on an exercise. A bunch of the lads went down town to get, amongst other things, a haircut. The first guy went up on the seat and had a trim, at the end of which the Chinese barber did what all Singaporean barbers do, which is to grip the customer in a headlock and twist it violently right and left to 'click' the vertabrae and provide the customer with some sort of chiropractic relief. Needless to say, the 'Tom' in question, completely misunderstanding the action, leapt out of his chair and floored the diminutive barber with one punch. Police called, general aggravation all round, eventually settled fairly amicably. Always such a splendid ambassador for their country, the average 'Tom'!

David I take it all back. The Darbyshires are appalling.

NIB - are you suggesting that David *is* Leah Darbyshire?

"NIB - are you suggesting that David *is* Leah Darbyshire?"

Well Larry, I've seen no proof to the contrary, so believe he might well be!

Well, I'm certainly not showing you the proof, 'NIB'!

Thank God for that.

Go on David, post a picture.

You asked how I knew about internet usage. Below is a sample of the statistics which informed my statement. I notice that my comment and your reply has now been deleted from the comments on the Darbyshires site. Do you think she is onto us?

* 60% of all website visits are sexual in nature
MSNBC Survey 2000

* The No. 1 search term used at search engine sites is the word “sex”. Users searched for “sex” more than other terms such as "games," "travel," "music," "jokes," "cars," "weather," "health" and "jobs" combined. The study also found that "pornography/porno" was the fourth-most searched for subject.
Alexa Research

* 77% of online visitors to adult content sites are male. Their average age is 41 and they have an annual income of $60,000. 46% are married.
Forrester Research Report, 2001

* In 2001, in a study of 7037 adults, two thirds of those who visit websites with sexual content say their Internet activities haven't affected their level of sexual activity with their partners, though 75% report masturbating while on line.

* In a Kinsey Institute survey, respondents were asked "Why do you use porn?"
72% said they used porn to masturbate/for physical release.
69% - to sexually arouse themselves and/or others.
54% - out of curiosity.
43% - "because I can fantasize about things I would not necessarily want in real life."
38% - to distract myself.

For those confused by Erica's comment above, let me explain that she left a comment on the Darbyshire's site pointing out that 'x'% of men used the net for masturbatory purposes. I only wondered how she knew that. Well, now I know and I wish I hadn't asked! Still, I like Erica's style, no unsubstantiated generalisations from her, which makes a change from the usual hot-air blow-hards on this site (yes, Larry, I include myself!) Anyway, both Erica and I have been axed from the Darbyshire site, a fate which I, and I suspect, Erica, can face with equanimity. Even so, I shall continue to visit because of the thrill in what Brando called, in that silly over-wraught film, "Oh, the horror, the horror!"

'I was like 'Hello! I know I don't ever mention this but I do have an Oxford degree you know, it's like one of the best universities in the world!'.

They are coming to take it back.

Alas, Don, these days they may be coming to give her a Ph.D.!

'Son of Duff' was frequently dumped there when my social life demanded it....'


Indeed he was, Mr. Gooseburger, and back in those far off halcyon days, the Jewish lady would have given her life to protect him, although the only protection he needed was from the attention of all the 'ooohing' and 'aaahing' native Mums in the room who thought he was adorable - they should see him now! There being never less than two dozen souls in that room I doubt he was ever safer.

Now, your point was ...?

The comments to this entry are closed.