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Thursday, 28 September 2006


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I must say, it was probably her most entertaining blog post ever. A wee bit of a spark in it instead of the usual blandness. She should write about other people more often.

White shoes with a black dress are, how can I put it, somewhat common. Well done, I stongly suspect Leah hasn't met much opposition in life, it'll do her good. Have a Laphroaig on me.

illman-Why the feck do you read it then? You don't mind this madman's ranting gibberish.
Clairwil-Common-that's rich coming from someone who likes Dolly Parton and Madonna.It also happens to be in at the moment though you're obviously too past it to know that.It's a sixties thing-you were there the first time around obviously?
No you're quite right,Oxford grads never come against any opposition only from feminists(!) like you.I thought us feminists defended a woman's right to wear whatever she likes so you obviously missed the point of sisterly support.
Talk about what you know.
Have a glass of beer chucked over you-on me.

Photo exactly as imagined.And you really have the nerve to criticise others!
IQ and age the same as I said.
An overweight George Bush springs to mind.
I'd like to strangle you with your knickers.

Ladies, ladies, please! Remember you're, er, ladies.

Lara, of course women should, and do, enjoy the liberty of wearing anything they like - but, happily, it still won't stop other women sniping at them behind their backs, and if you really believe in "sisterly support" you need your bumps felt, er, in the nicest possible way of course.

But I am deeply hurt! "Madman"? "Ranting"? "Gibberish"?
'You cannot be serious!' This is one of the finest, most erudite and elegantly written blogs on the net, famed the length and breadth of my study, I'll have you know.

Jean; I knew, I just knew you'd come! Pretty irresistible, aren't I? Eh? The old animal magnetism working across the cosmos. 'Ding-dong', feel free to drop in any old time; know what I mean ...? (But, er, ring first, the little 'Memsahib' isn't too modern, if you catch my drift! Wouldn't do to upset her, now she's got her black belt)

By the way, where exactly would you place my IQ? Is the first number a four ...?

I have to act like a lady but you're no gentleman?
So glad that you're deeply hurt,now you know how it feels.
You can give it but you can't take it,
Sorry,I'll pass.I was expecting a Viggo with that much gall to slag off women but sadly.........

Jean, you appear to have Leah's maiden name - are you a relative?

Whilst 'Jean' ponders 'not Jean's' fascinating question, can anyone tell me what a "viggo" is?

Not Jean-Is it my real email tho?.........
And what's your point? If I was a relative I'd have more right to comment on her than sad sh**ts who don't know her-right.And either a relative or not I have a duty to defend anyone from Duff's garbage. I think her real relatives would be a lot tougher on him than I am should their paths ever cross.He should be shaking in his women's knickers.
David Duff-I don't know what your fascination is either.Just like to be cruel from a distance do you because you've got no balls-obviously.With the amount of women you've slagged off it's a wonder any male parts of you still exist.
And you don't gush-not much.Why use 2 words when you can bore me with 200.Do you have an Oxbridge degree by the way.Any degree? In sarcasm I suppose.
The 4 must be your waistline.
In the words of the great Clumsy -who you won't have heard of either because you don't live in the real world;-
You'd think it wouldn't matter if your clothes aren't right.
You'd think it wouldn't matter if your heart was right,
Judge not lest you be judged etc.. but there's always dried-up tossers like you around.
I really can't waste any more of my valuable time on fossils like you,need to get back to contributing to forums about talented,intelligent people who actually give something back to the world instead of sitting on their fat,safe backsides spewing out bile which isn't clever in the slightest.
Go and do some charity work like the Darbyshires,you might feel better but I doubt it.

Have to ask though-are you wearing jesus sandals in your picture?

It would be slightly odd to use an email address that might be of a relative of Leah's if you're not, yes. It matters little whether you are or not though, but I thought it might explain your rage if you were. If you're not, then to 'pretend' to have an email address with Leah's maiden name and to get so het up about them would be down right odd.

I had wondered whether Jean was in fact Leah/Robin.

The reason the Darbyshires get so much flak is their constant need for reassurance of how great they are. Most people don't feel the need to constantly blog about this.

Oh, rather like this:

"my valuable time on fossils like you, need to get back to contributing to forums about talented, intelligent people who actually give something back to the world"

My rage(!)is against the chauvinistic Duffer and his too personal ,offensive comments.You should see me when I really get angry.
Don't read it then-you've obviously got too much time on your hands.Get a life.
Leah and Robin wouldn't be arsed to pretend to be something they're not.
The blogs not meant for you.It's for family and friends.As you're too scared to give your name I assume you're neither.
I wasn't actually talking about them.They don't have a forum -you may not be intelligent enough to have noticed that fact.I was talking about the people that I actually KNOW personally and admire for those attributes.So as always -Get your facts straight before you-anonymously-post a supercilious comment.
Amywho,the penny has just dropped!I know why the Duffer is so down on them.He writes a Political-supposedly-blog and can't even make it into the Top 100 and those who's blog isn't even remotely political get to Number 65!Pure jealousy!!!
How childish.
I'm very bored with you now Duffer,Get off their case for good.You're not welcome.

Yes, yes, my dear, whatever you say, but you still haven't told me what a "Viggo" is?

Well you sure aint't one.
And you still haven't told me what your degree is.If you have one which I doubt.
And calling me dearjust about sums you up.
Watch your step out there in the real world.It can get very nasty.

Jean, you were the one who suggested the email you're using is not your real one.

I'm not really sure I suggested any facts that I need to get straight(I was actually pointing out that the language you use is rather similar to the type of stuff they post on their blog).

But if we're being pedantic, it's entirely possible that you could have been posting on forums about the Darbyshires, whether they have a forum or otherwise.

As it happens, I am an acquaintance of the Darbyshires.

Try and read this very, very slowly, Jean, without moving your lips:

What is a "Viggo"?

What language-you mean saying that you know talented,intelligent people? Yes I do.Actors and musicians who give up their free time to help others less priviliged.
You're an aquaintance are you? Never heard of you.Don't know any Not-Jeans or Anonymous'.Doesn't ring a bell.
Duffer-Got you worried now haven't I.
By the way,you think you know so much about Shakespeare but you haven't even mentioned the greatest Company,Propeller, only the boring,predictable Globe which is totally dire.See you don't know it all.Shut your mouth and listen sometimes and you actually might learn something.Some of us also have a very fine brain and use it in a constructive way.You're just a Shakespeare snob of the worst kind.

Trying awfully hard to follow here - am I missing a Shakespeare reference somewhere? And is this what a Viggo is ( Very square jaw. But poor taste in shirts, it would seem. I also admire actors who give up their valuable resting time to help others less privileged. One of my thesping friends is currently doing just that in Costcutter, and very fulfilling she's finding it too.

You're missing his wallowing blog entries-and there are many-on Shakespeare.Oh what a clever intellectual he is.
It's thespian by the way.
You're very sad.

Oddly enough I'm aware of the noun 'thespian' - I was using the colloquial verb 'to thesp', which is the aforementioned friend's overly modest description of what she does. I have missed the Shakespeare entries, this is true, and I apologise for the confusion. This whole business seems very sad, in the upsetting sense of the word.

Yes,that's what happens when one posts deeply offensive and personal attacks on one's blog-Smug Duff. Engage brain.You have caused no end of pain to Leah Darbyshire and her family with no sign of apology or remorse and we,her friends have had quite enough. We've seen the tears and sleepless nights-you haven't. A lesser person could have been destroyed by it.It's not even remotely clever.Pick on Bush,Blair whoever deserves it but leave everyone else out.
I hope you get what you deserve.You have no respect for women.Making fun of reading skills-how clever you are.I couldn't be that pathetic.I wouldn't want to hurt anyone.
I felt sure that you must be at least a beautiful person like Viggo to even dare to criticise others but no,it seems even the ugly have the right.
Blogs were not invented for cruelty and unjustified attacks.
There should now be laws preventing this vile abuse as there are for newspaper and TV attacks.It will come so be afraid.
Perhaps I'll start my own spoof blog about you.

Jean, I'm sure you're unfortunately right about the hurt and damage caused by all this, and I think you're clearly right in the implication that blogs often descend into nasty, personal stuff, but isn't this quote a bit much?

"I felt sure that you must be at least a beautiful person like Viggo to even dare to criticise others but no,it seems even the ugly have the right."

I'm sure you don't really mean to imply that beautiful people should be allowed to say and do things denied to the "ugly".

"You're an aquaintance are you? Never heard of you.Don't know any Not-Jeans or Anonymous'"

Well, unless you're Leah or Robin Darbyshire I don't expect you to have heard of me, as I'm an acquaintance of theirs.

Oh, so it's not a 'what', it's a 'who'!

But now, dare I ask - why? I mean, what has this man Viggo got to do with me?

On second thoughts, Jean, my dear old thing, don't bother, I'm beginning to lose the will to live.

Anyway, thanks, Gene, for adding to my worldly knowledge. I am sorry for your thespian friend. Truly, theatre is the cruellest of occupations which is why I am happy to have discovered its excitements late in life and thus have remained an amateur.

'Not Jean', I think probably it's best to ignore her, she's obviously not taking her medication!

Why the obsession with looks and Oxbridge degrees?

It is cruel, David, but at least this way she can slide her friends the odd Black Bush minature while Mr Costcutter is in the storeroom. He's a tyrant, you know.

It is cruel, David, but at least this way she can slide her friends the odd Black Bush minature while Mr Costcutter is in the storeroom. He's a tyrant, you know.


Beacause,you idiot, that's exactly what the ancient decrepit Duffer has been attacking Leah Darbyshire about, oh and her dog and many other subjects so it's payback time.I imagined that anyone who was conceited enough to slag off another's looks clearly had to be very special themselves.I wouldn't have the nerve or maybe I was just brought up with good manners and taught to respect other peoples' feelings.

I'm delighted to hear that you're losing the will to live Duffer.You should take the tablets-lots of them.At least you won't be able to upset anyone else and make them unhappy.Can't be much longer for you anyway can it?
I'm not old,dear or a thing either but a person that you've offended and I just hope I've returned the compliment.
And how dare you ridicule me about medication.Have you taken your humanity pill this year? You really are the most rude,disrespectful,condescending prat it's been my misfortune to comunicate with.
Sweet Gene Vincent
Of course I don't mean that.I'm not in the least look-ist but when someone is only writing horrible things about another's appearance they must surely either be very strange or have an extremely high opinion of themselves.
I stand by the fact that these totally unprovoked attacks have caused more upset than you know and no normal,sane human being should try to find anything funny in them.Leah doesn't know this man ,has never met him and yet she's been subjected to this.She does not deserve this.Who does for god's sake.
Your last 2 remarks don't make the slightest sense to me.

Not jean blah.blah
I've asked them and they don't know you or want to.

Bottom line is;-
Why did you have to pick on a happy couple just because you are clearly anything but?
Why them? Now leave off.That's enough.
I'm asking you politely as they asked you to apologise but you weren't man enough to do that.I at least have some class.See what smartass reply you can think of to that.Or don't bother,just disappear for ever.

Jean - thank you for the clarification, I understand exactly what you are saying. Please ignore the last two comments (mistakenly posted twice) - just a facetious reference to my actor friend who is 'between projects', Mr Duff having noted that it was a cruel profession. Best wishes.

Thanks Gene.

What's a "look-ist"?

NO, NO, I didn't write that honestly, I didn't, it just slipped out and really, I don't want to know ...

Aren't you dead yet?

Really, you'd have thought they would remember someone called "Not Jean" wouldn't you?

This IS Leah Darbyshire.
But I am not Jean. If you read our blog a lot, as you seem to, then you will notice that our writing style is quite different.

Do you seriously think that no one would want to defend us except ourselves? A quick read of the comments shows you that isn't the case. Why on earth should you think that the only person prepared to argue our case would be one of us? Many people think it is unfair.

'Not Jean'. I don't know who you are I'm afraid. I can't recognise you from your comments except to know you are a Lib Dem since you said that the political people posting were reasonable.

So you obviously didn't think that my non-political friend Sally who said we should just ignore all of you and that I do look good in a bikini was reasonable. I think she was. Possibly ignoring all this rubbish is the best way.

What I just find so funny is that people think we're self-obsessed and yet you all seem to spend a lot more time thinking and talking about us than we do! That's obsession!

As to 'need for reassurance of how great we are'. I can't remember the last time we posted in that vein. I used to respond to attacks like that but my Attacks Answered post was quite humble, admitting that some might think I am overweight.

I thought it was a fair and honest answer to the attacks that have been made.

Recently we have mostly been writing about our life in Singapore and our dog Yishi to what we thought were an audience of family and friends back home.

Still if you think we are 'great' then thank you! I am truly complimented.

How do you explain the fact that it only started when we came out against the Party in that case? No one said this to start with and all we got were compliments initiallly.

You are obviously also Anonymous, who posted on our blog, the same person who got depressed when he couldn't seem to suggest an alternative response we could have made to the attacks on our blog. See, it's quite a difficult thing to get yourself out of really.

I suggest you come forward and reveal yourself to us. Robin and I don't know who you are at all and I'm afraid I distrust the agenda of most Lib Dems at the moment since their key objective seems to be to get us to stop the blog by a war of attrition.

Have to go now, unlike many people who spend their time posting of us (many of them very nasty) I do have a life to lead.

Dear God!
What sensitive fans you have Leah.

I've turned my response to Lara into a blog post, which has helped me through a dry spell and given my venom glands a good stretch.

Actually, what I want to know is, if the Sixties are back in style, how come you don't see women wearing those folding cellophane headscarves they all used to wear to keep their hairdos in shape in the rain after they'd been for a shampoo and set on a Friday morning? Nobody seems to have them any more.

Dear God Clairvil,
What a sad person you are!

I don't even know you and yet you spend all day reading about me. I find that really quite creepy. Brrrrr.

I might be let down by my 'spoilt, whiny, pompous personality' but....get this...I'm sure as hell glad I'm not you!

If I were, I'd probably have to throw myself under a train.

Why don't you ask my devoted husband if he thinks I am any of those things you say about me?

But oh no...he's madly in love with me and will defend me to the hilt. Sorry love!

Hmm, I wonder why that should be when I'm so darned awful hey?

I mean I know I'm great in bed ;-) (or you probably expect me to think that I am) but that's not really enough to justify a life long commitment of crazy love is it really?

I have never been spoilt in my whole life. Everything I got came through sheer hard work. I'm honestly, very, very proud of everything I have achieved. I'm the one who can sleep soundly in my bed at night feeling totally satisfied and knowing I did it the hard way.

I have absolutely everything I want in this world. True. And that's only worth anything when you know you got it the hard way.

I have no problem with other people feeling that same way about their lot in life and I always give praise where it's due. Always tell people I admire them when I do. I spread a whole lot of compliments around in this world.

But I'm not sure the internet trolls who are obsessed with me quite fall into that category.

I really do feel you all seem to have something big missing in your lives and I obviously fill that hole.

Call it charity work if you like. I do enough of it anyway.

No one likes everyone and so you don't have to like me but equally I don't have to like you or want you staring at my legs or shoes in freakin' voyeuristic pervy lady!

You have to's a bit weird.

I indeed think ignoring this rubbish is the best way to stop all this sh*t. It's not right, but perhaps it's what's needed.
I'm ashamed that I have to take part in posting about this to try to get it to stop.
Btw, I think the comments that come from Sally are the most reasonable things said by anyone on this. In the past, I have hoped that she would be able to help make it all stop.
I think there have been both reasonable and unreasonable stuff said from all sorts of people, both from you and others. But equally there's been some unreasonable stuff from all too.
I said it was hard to think of how to make it stop, and that I can understand why you reacted the way you did to an extent. You say all this started when you came out against the Lib Dems, but did it? Didn't it start slightly before? When someone said some very insulting and horrible stuff in response to something you had on your blog. Since then it spiralled out of control. You posted some stuff about the person you suspected of the horrible attack - their friends then said more horrible things and you lashed out at a party that you felt should be supporting you but wasn't. This brought in others who weren't aware of all the facts or issues who all joined in, some saying reasonable stuff, others wildly not. Since it all settled down a bit, it seems to have simmered under the surface for both you and those involved.

Please note, I'm in no way trying to stop you blogging, nor blaming you for any of this starting. The comments that the individual or individuals made about you were completely unacceptable.

Damn it Hilary Wade, you're right - this alleged Sixties revival is nothing but a sham. I can't even remember the last time I went to a restaurant and was able to order fruit juice as a starter. And why isn't Reginald Maudling speaking at the Tory conference? Tchuh.

You can't get Spangles in "Old English" flavour any more either. And, plus, when you buy an ice cream, it jolly well ought to come in a solid wrapped block, the same shape, size, colour and chiefly composition as lard, and slot into an oblong cone that you buy separately.

Absolutely. On a similar note, my elderly uncle was ill recently, so I took him to the doctor. This Dr Charlatan MD said I should cover him from head to toe in greasy, slippery lard, but it didn't make him any better. In fact, he went downhill really quickly.

Bit like this thread then

Indeed. Perhaps letting it tail off with mediocre jokes would be the kindest way of defusing all this unpleasantness. To which end: how many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Dear Not Jean.
The most intriguing thing to me has been trying to work out who you are. You say you are an 'acquaintance' and a Lib Dem but from a long time ago. Well I only joined the Lib Dems in 2002 so that doesn't quite tally. So mabye you are Robin's acquaintance?\

But then you sound like you know Sally too. And you sound like you've been following our blog a lot, very closely.

I sometimes think you sound nice and supportive, on our side, other times I think that you don't really know me well enough, which since you are an acquaintance only, may well be true.

I think you are fairly reasonable but like many you are missing the facts. You can tell me to ignore it and not respond. Or not respond in a certain way and that's fine.

But I can't tell you how angry it makes me to read utter shit about me by people who don't know me such as Clairwil.

You honestly think it's okay to say I look like a whore or to say that my personality lets me down? Lets me down for what. Didn't realise this was a competition. Didn't realise I was on the pull or entering a popularity contest. It's bizarre.

I truly believe that everyone thinks it's all right to say whatever the hell they like about me, however nasty, however hurtful, whether I've ever done anything to them or even met them before or not.

Call me a whore, call my husband gay....all nice stuff!

Yet I'm supposed to turn the other cheek. I'm supposed to say nothing. If I do say anything I'm a parody or responding in the wrong way.

Honestly, that just doesn't seem fair. I didn't realise this week was 'Slag off Leah' week, 'Slag off Leah' month or 'Slag off Leah' year but that's surely how it feels and all that after I actually responded quite humbly to all the previous attacks in an honest way.

Regarding the facts which you are missing, here they are.

Lib Dem guy asks me out despite having girlfriend at the time.

Am happily married to Robin. Robin finds out this guy had a girlfriend at the time he asked me out. I'm shocked and angry at being made a fool of. Think he's a total rat.

Am introduced to girlfriend who makes some nasty, cutting remarks to me in person despite me not having said anything to her about anything. Very similar in nature to future blog comments.

Girlfriend says some nasty things to Robin. Acts sanctimonious and calls him names. I'm angry. My husband is everything to me. I tell her that her boyfriend has a wandering eye. Well, a) it's true and b) she hurt my baby.

Girlfiend runs to Robin claiming I'm a bitch. Fundamental mistake. You can't divide the Darbyshires. Now we are both angry.

What follows is:
Nasty text messages from the girl - content of which are remarkably similar to nasty future postings on blog.

Robin ignores her at work despite her sending emails along the lines of 'why aren't you speaking to me?' Answer: Because you were a bitch to my wife. I was copied in on these.

Robin decides to leave his Party job for other reasons on a Friday night in January.

Robin and I are minding our own business the next evening when at 1am some very drunken comments start arriving the tone and style of which is exactly like the text messages and verbal comments to the letter.

This person is a Lib Dem since the content references that.

We probably should have posted the comment and responded telling her to FCUK off. We probably would have got lots of nice, supportive people rallying around like they are now.

Instead, we were too proud and posted an anonymous story of what had happened including a bit where Robin salted her boyfriend's coffee.

Incidentally her boyfriend was so innocent in all this that he was too scared to visit Robin in his office for work and insisted on waiting outside in the cold!

Not guilty at all huh.

Anyway, it was an offline issue. One that everyone got involved in. Should have just left it alone.

I'm still angry at what this person and others said. I wasn't expecting it. It was out of the blue. I knew she'd been angry four months ago but isn't it a bit weird to hold on to all that and then use our blog as a weapon to 'say your piece'?

Despite never having heard this joke before, I believe I can deduce the punchline from first principles, i.e. by reference to your earlier joke.

"two, but first you have to get them in the lightbulb"

Damn it you're good, Wade. If I had a hat, I'd be taking it off right now.

Well, you two can go on telling silly jokes if you like, but I'm off to join the il-Lib-non-Dems - an alcoholic ex-leader, a current leader who is, allegedly, a receiver of stolen dosh, a leadership contender who consorted with rent boys and the social life, according to the inside information above, is rip-roaring.

Truly, all of life is here at Duff & Nonsense! Remember, you read it here first!

Ok, you're on:

A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his
sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and
then runs back to his master.

"So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?"

"40," replies the dog.

"How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!"

"I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."




Oh, God! Come back Jean, all is forgiven!

There's more than one way to spread heartache and torment on the internet, David!

I promise no more jokes. I shall bow out at the top.

Well Lara.............

I don't actually read David's blog much, but whilst I virtually never agree with him politically speaking, I do find him to be quite amusing and endowed with something approaching a sense of humour. Quite hard to find in blogland it would seem. To be honest, I think i've read the Darbyshires blog about three times, and each time I came away with the feeling that it was three minutes of my life i'd never get back again. I was merely passing comment on the fact that she(Leah) had finally written something that wasn't aneurysm inducingly tedious.

So there. Anyway, going by my own blog of late, i've no room to talk about banality I suppose...........



But do I forgive you?
clairwil-you should definitely be a politician you lie so well.You put part of your response on your blog, the bit that makes you look better.

That's why it's for family and friends-get it? Those of us who can't afford to call Singapore whenever we like.
Some of us are actually not very well off you'd be surprised to hear.

That was for illman-are you ill in body or mind?

I actually quite enjoyed your joke. At least the dog had a brain......It's a nice change.
Mind you, I wouldn't have liked it if you'd got all personal and told me the dog's name.
Or the farmer's come to that.....

BTW illman-of course Man U beat Celtic and well. Did you ever doubt it oh best mate of clairwil.

not jean- i didn't say they didn't remember you, i actually said they don't know you.
You're noy big on facts on this blog are you.

Hey, someone liked it! I'm not sure the dog had a name, Jean, so let's ignore that. Instead, I'm going to break the above promise one last time, in the cause of easing general ill-will, or at least spreading it in my direction:

A man goes to the doctor:

"Doctor, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'!"

"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"It's not unusual."

I'm here all week.

'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs'

'Of course you can't, I amputated your arms.'

(Oh God, it's catching!)

Aah, so that's the real meaning of the word?

I've got a sheepdog-border collie-and I've always suspected that she makes more sense that most people on these blogs even though she's a bitch.

Man goes into a butcher's shop and asks if he could have some of the prize sirloin on the top shelf behind the counter.

"I'm afraid not," replied the butcher. "The steaks are too high."

Are you getting these out of a kid's joke book?

OK! OK! I surrender.

That's the most sensible thing that you've said so far.

No, I just have a weakness for very silly jokes. I think they've probably fulfilled any useful purpose by now, though, so I will stop. Again. But if you lot start all this bloodletting in earnest once more, I've got a big sack of stupid here with all your names on it.

Class dismissed.

Right,I've been pondering on this for a long time-well whilst the kettle was boiling- and I've come to this response for you David Duff.
Whilst you're obviously a very rude,patronising man who's seems to be scared of women and you made some pretty bad remarks about the Darbyshires prior to your latest ramble,you're nowhere near as bad as the she-cat,full-moon,I've got my period clairwil that you unfortunately inspired to start up some real nastiness.
I'm sure that you've enjoyed that tho',quite good sport and all.
I'll give you 2 pieces of advice if you're big enough to take them;-
1.Try not to be so rude,ungallant and ungentlemanly about a lady's appearance, it really isn't neccessary is it just for a cheap laugh.
2.Do yourself a real favour and get to the Old Vic in November or the Watermill now for some real Shakespeare. It'll make all the difference to you.
Over and out.
The tea has brewed.

[Comment deleted. Why they allow internet access in the wards of mental hospitals I have no idea. DD]

That's what i've been wondering. Old mental people are very sad.

'An overweight George Bush springs to mind.'

I won't have poor David mocked on my shift. There is a picture of mad Jean aka Leah's Mum up over at my blog. I'm offering a prize for best caption.

Ugh...been away from here for a while.
Sorry, but I'm going to break ranks with you on this one, David. I don't like what I've seen on here (re your treatment of the Darbyshires) at all. Their blog wasn't meant as a broadcast to the world at large; it was meant as a way of keeping in touch with their relatives, nothing more.
Now I understand you come from a military background where the game is that you have to rib each other and take the piss, so that the weaker squaddies either learn to grow a thick skin and give back as good as they get, or else fuck off back home to Mummy. That's fair play in the army, as there's no place for snivelling cry babies. But I think you went too far with the Darbys. Why pick on them? They're not squaddies, just ordinary people. Sure, their blog was tedious, but it wasn't addressed to you or me or anyone but their family. Army piss-taking is for army life and it has a purpose there, but leave the OFCs out of it. Confined to barracks for 10 days, you grotty little man! And if your "Hamlet" doesn't put Gielgud to shame, I'll have you cleaning out the pissoirs of South Armagh with your tongue!

Tom, welcome back - just in time, I was about to send the Red Caps after you!

I plead 'half-guilty' to your charge. What started as a piece of gentle mockery aimed at a young couple suffering with galloping self-absorption, soon developed into WWIII which is why, half-way through, I followed the strict tenets of my religion, Orthodox Cowardice, and made my excuses and left.

However, I do disagree with one part of your argument - there is no such thing as a 'private' blog. E-mails are private, blogs are public, and don't think for a moment that the Darbyshire's aren't aware of it! As I pointed out to the wife of the 'Bloke-Whose-Blog-Cannot-Be-Named' when she complained about the cruelty of my criticism of her husband's rotten poetry, if you stand on a soap-box and declaim, you must take the brickbats with the flowers.

Forgot to add that part of the reason for slightly slow posting these days is because I am engrossed in the text of 'Hamlet'. The more I dig, the more scared I become. Audition on the 30th - I must pray to the 'Intelligent Designer' to give me a good cast!

Clairwil seems to have turned this topic into some kind of personal, nasty, vendetta.
It's very childish.

FAO clairwil,
Under Advice.
You are instructed to cease and desist from the publishing of any image or likeness of myself especially where the publishing of those images contravene the terms and conditions of the sites where the images were originally published.

This is a copy of an e-mail I have just sent to Susan:

"Dear Susan,
I don’t take instructions from anyone on my site, in fact I don’t take many from anyone off it, either.

Also, the only “image or likeness” to be published here is of me because I am rather attractive and the ladies demand it from time to time.

Now please go away.

David Duff"

DESPERATELY attention seeking female blogger requires older rude blogger to assist in sadistic game of cruel and unasked for vendetta against complete strangers.
Must be willing to allow female as many opportunities and as much space on their blog as possible for them to carry out said vendetta which will then be perpetuated on female's own blog to become as distasteful as possible.
Only other requirements are to have complete self absorbtion, cowardly nature and lack of apology syndrome.
Aim is to upset happily married couple and their loving families for whatever weird purpose and to stop blog.....oh, it's too late.
There aren't enough wars in the world obviously so trust a female to start another. And to prolong it as long as is humanly possible.

I expect that's what the Darbyshire said to you David-Please go away.

I didn't receive your "private?" email. i thought you stated that 'emails are private' to the above poster. Shouldn't you do as you say?
I wish you to remove the above link. I don't have a blog so I'm not fair game.
Now, please leave me and my family alone and that's the very last time that I want to hear from or have any knowledge of your existence.

Is there a prize for the best caption for your photo as well?

I think the little 'Memsahib' won it with "Prat in a hat!"

(Well, if she didn't I'm not prepared to argue with her.)

I'm not sure how the law stands on Weblogs, but the Press seems to be able to publish unflattering pictures with impunity - hence the Private Eye "Andrew Neil" saga:

Photographs remain the property of the photographer and require the photographer;s permission to reproduce them. Being on a blog doesn't make it immune from the law.

Are you playing Hamlet's father or Yorick?

I'm not too bothered about the law because the only photos allowed on this site are of me, me, me!

And thank you, Sherlock, for digging up the oldest joke in the theatrical joke book, but I'm the director. Power mad, that's me!

I suggest the above poster who thought it very funny to use unlawfully acquired photographs of me to make a porn blogsite read the above. I suggest you remove that link too-under advice.

Susan, I didn't know what you meant, to begin with, but I have now just checked the site you referred to and I am wiping it instantly; not, I hasten to add, because of the spurious legal threat you made to me but because it is a disgusting, offensive and cruel non-joke and I won't have that sort of thing on this site.

Thank you David.

Could you please remove the clairwil link too. It's very upsetting.

Susan, I think by now "it's all blood under the bridge", don't you? 'Clairwil', whom I do not know personally, is a feisty, Glaswegian lady who pulls no punches. In the heat of battle she did once go too far on this site and I edited a sentence out - and she quickly agreed that I was right to do so. My advice to you (and any other interested parties) is to let sleeping dogs lie (and definitely no pun is intended!) The whole thing got out of hand, no-one (including me) came out of it well and I have no intention of restarting it.

I'm afraid she's gone too far by stealing a private photograph from the photographer without his permission, using it to make obscene remarks about me and by leaving it on your site you're perpetuating the bad situation. It's also illegal.
It's definitely not blood under the bridge as the site that so disgusted me was only set up yesterday evening again with stolen photographs and is mentioned on her site.
Like I said before, your email to me was not private, I have no blog and I'm not Jean so why should I suffer. I'm the innocent in all this and my reputation has been ruined. I hope you know how that feels one day. Or perhaps, as usual, you'd like the victims to "let sleeping dogs lie" and the attackers to carry on their evil doings.

As a P.S So being "feisty and Glaswegian " makes it Ok to behave in such an appalling manner and being "nice and a Southener" means you're entitled to have the stuffing knocked out of you. Stereotyping is alive and well in blogland it would appear.
Enjoy your blog, the Darbyshires don't have one any more as you may have noticed.

I see that you have not removed clairwil's link. You're as bad as her.
If Tom Tyler thought what you did to the Darbyshires was uncalled for, he should see what clairwil -with your help- has done to their Mother/Mother-in-law. The who;e thing os out of hand and I wouldn't be so sure about the spurious if I were you.

Susan, do yourself a favour and forget it. There is never an excuse for the sort of filth that hoaxer put up and that is why I wiped it. As for you, Clairwil, Jean, 'et al', that is just the rough and tumble knockabout that is the stuff of everyday life in the 'Blogosphere'. The words "heat" and "kitchen" spring to mind. You may well be in the right but the more you go on the 'wronger' you become!

Except I never joined in with the "heat" and "kitchen".
There's no excuse for you allowing a poster to put up an offensive stolen picture either.You can take responsibility for that at least.

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