Yeees, but would you have them to dinner?

I am obliged to Stephen Pollard for pointing up this obscure news item which reports that a panel of  "experts"(?) have, at the behest of The Independent, chosen a list of 50 individuals who they believe to be "motivated by an 'ethical' dimension" - whatever that may be - but which they describe as 'goodness'!  I must confess, being a country bumpkin of lowly social connections I am unacquainted with any of them personally, and indeed, I have not even heard of many of them.  One should not judge a man or woman by their occupation, not least because my own cv, ex-squaddie, ex second-hand car-dealer, is less than inspiring; but alas, we're all human and the list of activities attached to these people is of such a nature that I can feel my synapses slamming shut at the mere mention.  My general antipathy is enforced by my personal opinion that several of these individuals are actually exceedingly wicked.  In addition, I suspect that even more of them are A1 crashers of the the most tedious kind whose one-way conversation, or harangue, would constitute cruel and unusual punishment on any unfortunate recipient.

So, I have two questions and a solution.  First, why would anyone buy a newspaper as obviously silly as The Independent, and second, would you have any of these people to dinner?  My answer to the second is 'no' but my solution is to send them to the Darbyshires because I feel, as my vicar might put it, 'in a very real way' they deserve each other.

Muhammad Abdul Bari, Muslim leader

Andrew Linzey, animal rights moralist

Anne Owers, HM Inspector of Prisons

Benjamin Zephaniah, poet

Bob Geldof, poverty campaigner

Bob Holman, community worker

Bruce Kent, peace activist

Camilla Batmanghelidjh, founder of Kids Company

Chris Patten, politician

Clive Stafford Smith, lawyer

David Attenborough, television naturalist

Donald Findlater, pioneer in paedophile treatment

Gareth Peirce, solicitor

Gee Walker, mother

Gordon Conway, ecologist

Indarjit Singh, Sikh leader

Jean Vanier, disabled campaigner

Jill Pitkeathley, careers' campaigner

John Bell, peace activist and hymn-writer

John Harris, bio-ethicist

John Houghton, meteorologist

John Sulston, scientist

Jon Snow, broadcaster

Jonathon Porritt, environmentalist

Justin Forsyth, poverty strategist

Ken Loach, filmmaker

Ken Newell and Gerry Reynolds, Northern Ireland peace activists

Kevin Watkins, anti-poverty researcher

Laurie Pycroft, animal testing campaigner

Lionel Blue, rabbi

Mark Malloch Brown, UN official

Martin Dent and Bill Peters, debt campaigners

Mohammed Mamdani, founder of the Muslim Youth Helpline

Niall Fitzgerald, businessman

Nick Hargreaves, refugees campaigner

Ann Pettifor, debt campaigner

Peter Tatchell, gay rights campaigner

Phil Sumner, community worker

Philip Pullman, children's writer

Richard Adams, fair trade pioneer

Richard Curtis, comedy scriptwriter and global campaigner

Richard Harries, moralist

Robert Chambers, anti-poverty thinker

Shami Chakrabarti, civil rights campaigner, director of Liberty

Sheila Cassidy, palliative care pioneer

Shirley Williams, politician

Sister Frances Dominica, founder of the Helen House hospice

Tariq Ramadan, Islamic reformer

Timothy Radcliffe, Dominican friar

Tom Shakespeare, disability activist

Comments

[Hilary Wade]

If we're just talking about "goodness", I'd nominate the writer of this piece (he's a clergyman I go to hear from time to time): http://warc.ch/who/what/youth/rw962/05.html

[Hank]

disabled campaigner
Why do we need a campaign to cause disabilities?

pioneer in paedophile treatment
Should read accomplice to pedophilia. I’m not sure if the success of treatment programs equals natural remission or is worse.

Camilla Batman ghelidjh - founder of Kids Company
Is the name for real? Sounds like the most constructive person on the list

Laurie Pycroft, animal testing campaigner
How did he get on the list, using animals for drug tests may save lives but it is politically incorrect.

Mark Malloch Brown, UN
Deserves a common sense award - insults a member nation of a membership organization in which he is an official, then expects to work with them in a cooperative manner.

bio-ethicist
Do a google search on T4 disabled

comedy scriptwriter and global campaigner
What is the difference between those two functions?

debt campaigner
Like I need help getting into debt?

Jonathon Porritt, environmentalist and Gordon Conway, ecologist
Do the compilers of the list know the difference? I am tired of debates on the “environment” when both sides mean ecology and would clearly be confused if you attempted to explain it to them.

David
Thanks for the laugh - I needed it.

[David Duff]

Well, that's you off the list, Hank!

Hilary, thanks, I will give him a read when I get a minute.

[Mike Cunningham]

They're a collective of wankers, but even this bunch of no-hopers don't deserve The Darbyshires! That really is a cruel and unusual punishment!

[Barry Bananas]

Yes.

[reasoninrevolt]

Hey Duff, it stands to reason that you don't know any "good" people, being a bourgeois apologist and all. No bloody socialists on the list either!

[David Duff]

Barry, it's your choice, of course, but with one or two of them I would suggest you count teh spoons afterwards!

'RinR', I'm not sure what you mean by "bourgeois apologist" but I assume it is not a compliment! Also, I would have thought they were all, in their different ways, "bloody socialists".