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Wednesday, 04 October 2006


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As he wrote:-

Then out spake brave Horatius, The Captain of the gate:
"To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late.
And how can man die better
Than facing fearful odds,
For the ashes of his fathers,
And the temples of his Gods,

Your introductory words brought back the words which once gripped the whole attentions of a normally unruly band of teen-aged boys in a Northern Grammar School; and I wonder if those same words ever resound around the desks and tables of modern England?

If not, perhaps we ought to ask why not?

I shouldn't, it's too depressing!

By the way, loved your story of the near miss - that's what I call 'sang froid'!

"Disturbed nature? "
Don't tempt me Duffer.
It's a pity that my WW1 veteran friends are no longer with us. The ones who left various essential parts of their anatomy in some field in France would have laughed uprariously at your analogy that the handbags at dawn trouble YOU proudly confessed to starting was the equivalent of their time in hell. Not.
Call yourself intelligent you pompous ass.
Actually, Sassoon is far better than Owen.
Spoken by someone who DOES know about poetry, Shakespeare and WW!.

The Duffer.
(With many apologies to Mr Sassoon , although he wasn't beneath doing a parody or two himself)

'Good morning; good morning!' the old Duffer said
When we mailed him last week re. his offensive lines.
Now the shoes that he scoffed at are under the bed,
And we're cursing his words, the incompetent swine!
'He's a cheerful old card.' grunted Robin to his wife
As they slogged off to work, their's is no easy life.
But he did for their blog with his plan of attack.

Excellent, 'Cill Shakespeare' (no relation)!

Really, I enjoyed that, particularly after all the illiterate tosh that has been fly-tipped here recently. (All my own fault, of course, but even so ...) Anyway, thanks for making me laugh.

Excuse me, is this the right blog for an argument?

I think I was actually taking the piss out of you?

No, no , Monty, it's all peace and love here, promise!

And Cill, yes, I gathered that you were and what makes you think I can't laugh at myself?

That was the most original idea on the subject. Brilliant. Probably offensive poetry is the way to go. It would weed out the reality TV element who seem to frequent these blogs.
Talking of which, my understanding of blogging was that it originated as a means for those of a technical nature to pass on their knowledge to the community at large or those who were technical enough to own and be interested in computers.
Now it seems to be about wannabe-famous windbags who feel the need to share their boring lives with others.
I quite enjoy your intelligent pieces but you descended into Sun territory recently it seems. Which is a pity.
I'be been away on my hols so you'll have to forgive me for my very last word on the subject of dear Leah.
It is this; you probably aren't aware that Leah and her family have all appeared on national and local TV and in national and local newspapers for their individual talents and interesting things they have done. On seperate occasions. Unlike most people. We're talking Times here, not the aforementioned chip wrapping by the way. So, I don't think she was ever courting limited fame unlike the original, surprisingly bitter posters with some hidden agenda. Illiterate tosh indeed. You should have nipped it in the bud or not started in the first place.
You mention being able to laugh at yourself, but in the same way that I can no longer turn on my television without being brainwashed by the harrassment and persecution of Muslims, it's the internet and the Darbyshires. It's not that amusing anymore. You're also the winner in this sorry mess. You still have your blog remember.
My point is, you would be better off criticising some low-achieving, fame-seeking individual, well, like Blair for instance, than a nice young couple. As far as I can remember they have never murdered anyone, been in prison, boiled a dog or beaten up an OAP-yet. If they did, they'd be really famous.
I'm a senior citizen and a member of the old school way of doing things so perhaps I just don't get this modern way but it seems to me that everyone is entitled to free speech. Even the innocent.
And I'm a relative , as you may have gathered.

Clifford, welcome! Allow me to take up some of your points in order.

"my understanding of blogging was that it originated as a means for those of a technical nature to pass on their knowledge to the community at large". Big mistake! Blogging is for bores like me to inflict their excruciating opinions on those unwary enough to drift in here by mistake.

"my very last word on the subject of dear Leah." Mine, too, I hope (but suspect otherwise), but I should remind you that my only contribution was to *ask* if white high heels were quite the thing with a little black number. I once published my photo on this blog and the comments were hardly flattering so the lesson is obvious.

"You still have your blog remember". Indeed, I do, but only because I am possessed of a thick skin in which I feel comfortable.

"you would be better off criticising some low-achieving, fame-seeking individual". Please look at the post below entitled "Is 'Dave' Cameron a lying liar, or am I just too optimistic?" Will that do?

"I'm a senior citizen and a member of the old school way of doing things". Me, too!

"I just don't get this modern way". Me, too, again!

"everyone is entitled to free speech". Oh no they're not! You try telling Muslims that covering their women from head to toe is downright unsocial, ugly, and the motive behind it, barbaric, and see what hits you.

"I'm a relative , as you may have gathered". Of the Darbyshires, I assume, not of mine, I don't have any apart from 'Son of Duff'.

Nice to 'meet' you, Clifford, and I hope you'll call again. I need to raise the social level of this place after all that riff-raff barged in!

Hello David, Now, now , you're being far too modest, that wasn't your only contribution was it? I seem to remember some nastier comments a while back? My memory relies on gingko these days but I'm sure it's not that bad.
You probably weren't aware that the police have been involved in the past due to a really nasty vendetta from a certain quarter and your comments meant that they climbed out of the gutter again. Even you can't match them for nastiness I'm afraid.
So everyone is sensitive about this. We do normally have a sense of humour I can assure you.
In that vein- how about a prize for the best "doctored or "duffered" poem? Although the above will be hard to beat!

A prize! Yes, but what could it be? The first, a night out with me; the second, two nights out with me!

I think I should dispose of my effort then. 2 old cynics out on the town might be too much for the public at large.
How about a signed copy of Diary of a Nobody?

"Diary of a Nobody".

Yes, that just about sums it up!

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