By their bannings shall you know them!

Justin McKeating of Yoghurt, er, 'fame' is, according to his own legend, a journalist, but not just any old scribbler, as he would have you know, but a NCJT scribbler!  (No, I didn't know what it meant, either, until I looked it up and it appears to be some sort of night school or distant learning college where, one can only assume, they teach joined-up writing.  Anyway, poor Justin, is an exiled Northerner who is roughing things in Brighton. (Well, I'm told there are handbags flying in Brighton on a Saturday night, so I hope he's being careful!) 

Now, being a journalist, ooops, sorry, a NCJT journalist, you would think that here is a man upon whom you could rely to die decently in the trenches for the cause of Freedom of Speech. Wrong! In his post which is linked above he invited his visitors to read a post by 'Rachel from Planet Zog', a lady who has featured many a time and oft' in these hallowed columns.  In addition he urged his readers to sign her petition.  I left a short comment to his invitation and was instantly banned.

"No!" you will cry, "What dreadful, foul words did you spew all over this poor man's unblemished site?  With what gross calumnies did you smear this unfortunate young woman? And please tell us, we beg you, that you did not in any way insult that very fine institution, the NCJT."  Relax!  Have you ever known me to be rude or ungallant to a lady - or even to a journalist, sorry, sorry, a NCJT journalist?  Of course not.  This is what I wrote:

"No, don’t [sign or read]!  Silly petition and an even sillier woman."

And this was the stern, magisterial rebuke which I received from 'Mr. Yoghurt' (who writes for Brighton's Insight, he would have you know):

"That’s your last comment on this blog, Duff. Don’t bother leaving any more, they’ll be deleted. Go and haunt those blogs who find your shit amusing."

Somewhere down in the cellars of this Chateaux Despair of a Blog, I have the last of my 'Street of Shame' posts in which I listed all the weak and feeble bloggers who have banned me over the years.  What a delicious irony to include a journalist; oh, there I go again, sorry, a NCJT journalist!

(Actually, whilst I'm here, I think you should all go and pay Rachel a visit.  Her post is hysterical, in all senses of the word.  It's all nods and winks to the wise (or the unwary!) and I kept expecting that woman to appear who used to play the lead in the "X Files", or whatever it was called.  Not to be missed!)

Comments

[N.I.B.]

"No, don’t [sign or read]! Silly petition and an even sillier woman."

Don't read that, don't do that - Commissar Duff has spoken!

Hey, I know what would cheer you up: How's about we arrange a Rachel's-book-burning session when it comes out? I mean, people musn't read it, must they?

[Larry Teabag]

David,

You are a complete hypocrite. You banned a certain Belinda Cockbox from these pages for making comments of which you disapproved. Why should other people not do the same?

Remember folks - freedom of speech is of paramount importance - as long as it's speech David approves of, of course!

[David Duff]

Am I a journalist? Sorry, a NCJT journalist, the whole ethos of whose job is to protect freedom of speech within the law.

[N.I.B.]

It's not hypocrisy Larry, it's *realpolitik* - you've got to break a few eggs and all that, you know!

[Larry Teabag]

In that case I trust you'll be removing from the Street of Shame all the blogs whose owners aren't NCJT journalists. Which will make it the Street of Chicken Yoghurt, I'd imagine.

[David Duff]

I think the phrase I used above, Larry, was "freedom of speech within the law". If my memory serves, which frequently these days it doesn't (don't snigger, it will come to you one day), 'Belinda' used language that would have got him arrested had he used it in public.

[Tj Hooker]

On a really irrelevant note, it's actually NCTJ not JT (it's full name is the National Council for the Training of Journalists)

I am also NCTJ trained, but I think I've mentioned it only twice. Once on my CV, and once here. It is a formal qualification but it doesn't mean much.

[N.I.B.]

"freedom of speech within the law"

And there's the rub: It's Commissar Duff's idea of The Law. Which is of course Correct And True, because Commissar Duff stated so.

Thus He can ban who He likes.

Simple.

[David Duff]

'Tj', no, it is not "irrelevant". I try to get these things right but this bloody keyboard moves when I'm typing - nearly knocked over my glass of Laphroaig the other night (not that that had anything to so with it, of course) - so, alas, I do suffer with 'galloping typos'. Also, I am slightly, but only slightly, ashamed of my sneer at McKeating and his punctilious use of his qualification. I'm sure the NCTJ is an admirable institution.

('NIB' - boring! Go to bed, there's a good chap!)

[Larry Teabag]

'Belinda' used language that would have got him arrested had he used it in public

"In public" like on her, my, or your blog?

So "freedom of speech" now means that you must be allowed to say what you want where you want, but anyone else should be arrested if they dare to say anything deemed offensive by you.

Buurrrillliant.

[N.I.B.]

"'NIB' - boring!"

Oh but Commissar Duff, I thought leaving irritating, boring comments what what I was *supposed* to do! I was only following your lead!

[JuliaM]

I kept expecting that woman to appear who used to play the lead in the "X Files", or whatever it was called.

You mean Dana Scully, played by Gillian Anderson? Hmm, she was the sceptic of the two, I recall. Not a lot of healthy scepticism going on at that website.

I might check the book out, but can only hope its written better than the turgid, overblown 'I've got a secret' breathless prose she uses for that blog post...

[Larry Teabag]

It's ridiculous to come to David's blog and complain about other people's turgid, overblown prose.

[Tom Tyler]

McKeating's instant banning seems a little heavy-handed. If I had posted a piece asking people to sign some petition, and you had commented "No, don't! Silly petition, silly man", I would merely have replied "why do you think so?" in the first instance. But I'm not McKeating, I suppose...

[N.I.B.]

It was hardly 'instant', Tom - Commissar Duff has been attempting to re-educate the good folk of Chicken Yoghurt for a good couple of years now.

[JuliaM]

"It's ridiculous to come to David's blog and complain about other people's turgid, overblown prose."

And yet, I'm free to do so, by kind permission of the host & his open commets policy. I expressed an opinion not 100% in line with your own, yet the world did not spin off its axis. Good thing, this blogging lark!

After all, no-one wants an echo chamber of sycophants, do they...?

Though I suspect that some people actually do. By their comment policy, shall you know them....

[N.I.B.]

Yes, Commissar Duff's techniques for stifling debate are *far* more subtle than a simple ban. Witness the 'boring your opponent into submission' trick, for example.

[Larry Teabag]

By their comment policy, shall you know them....

To some extent I agree with you Julia M. The problem is that David completely fails to distinguish between those few blogs who ban him because they disagree with his opinions, and the majority who ban him simply because they find the way he expresses himself objectionable, and obstructive to a decent conversation.

Similarly David himself bans or censors people whose comments he finds objectionable, and therefore has no right whatsoever to the moral high ground.

[barry bananas]

Oh jesus, the Duffer's precious freedom of speech is under attack again.

Listen, Dave, for it's really simple: a blogger choosing to ban you from his own personal forum is not a freedom of speech issue. You are still perfectly free to stink up the joint at pretty much anybody else's place, at least until they too grow tired of the musty odour of yellow-gussetted Ys and stale whiskey breath. Unsurprisingly, some other guy pointed this out to you before to no avail, so here's her words again (with asterisks covering up the cusswords because you're such a fucking pussy):

"First off, enough with the boneheaded freedom of speech shit, you crazy egomaniac. There is no conflict between defending free speech and banning your gasbaggery from a blog. [Joe Blogger] can still support freedom of speech while choosing not to wade through your tedious verbal masturbation in his spare time, just like I can support the BNP’s right of free expression without having to read their leaflets when they post them in my fucking letterbox. Got it, D**f?"

I've had my comments deleted and edited here by our poor beleaguered host manys a time, but I've never once had the preciousness to claim that my rights of expression had been anally violated and whatnot. Get over yourself, you self-important old fool.

[Tim Curtin]

Hi David

Keep on fighting the good fight on Deltoid, Jeff Harvey's attack on you today is typical of his vacuity on the back of a far from impressive publication record.

[LeOgAhEr]

I Love you girls

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