Hypocrisy - "Give me excess of it"!

Hang on (I hear you cry) surely there's plenty of it around.  Not so, not so, and how lucky you all are to have plenty of me around to put you right on this - and other matters.  But then I seem to hear you sigh that surely no-one could possibly want more hypocrisy.  Well, I do!  To be a true hypocrite it is necessary to know that there is a right and proper way to behave and thus to take great care not to divulge the very wrong and improper conduct that you, yourself, indulge in.  My exceedingly shrewd and well-read e-friend, Deogolwulf, finds exactly the right quotation from the works of G. C. Lichtenberg who describes the situation as he saw it in the 18th c.  (This is the very same G. C. Lichtenberg whose wise words adorn the top of this column and describe so accurately my own pathetically executed aim in this blog.)  Anyway, writing on the subject of morality he summed it up thus: “Every man has also his moral backside which he does not show without need and which he keeps covered as long as possible with the trousers of decorum.”   That was then, but what about now, in an age where we are all encouraged to 'let it hang out', er, if you take my meaning.  Today, under the diktat of that old nutter, Nietzsche, and his contemporary chorus of cretins we are positively urged to 'moony' at the world!  Today, there is no shame and thus no hypocrisy.  One may behave in the most bestial of ways whilst pretending to a life of rectitude, but if found out, you simply shrug it off as a momentary aberration and carry on as usual.  What proof do I have for this charge?  There is not a hat big enough in which to place all the names for me to pick just one, so I will simply pluck from my memory the first example that comes to mind - Mr. Mark Oaten, MP.  I rest my case!

Comments

[Larry Teabag]

There is a decent case to be made for hypocrisy. This isn't it. Honestly, are you really such a fool as to think that Mark Oaten felt no shame and then carried on as normal?

In defence of hypocrisy: http://www.headheritage.co.uk/uknow/features/index.php?id=3

[Larry Teabag]

In fact Dufus, it occurs to me that Mark Oaten behaved in exactly the way you are advocating: far from "letting it all hang out", he went to every effort to keep his moral backside covered, in the manner of which you approve. He put up a public front of traditional decorum, while *secretly* getting fisted by a rent-boy. Then when he got found out, far from "shrugging it off", he resigned and his life fell to bits in shame and humiliation.

So the question is: what the fuck are you talking about?

[barry bananas]

Exactly, Lar.

Duff on the glorious past: Anyway, writing on the subject of morality [G. C. Lichtenberg] summed it up thus: "Every man has also his moral backside which he does not show without need and which he keeps covered as long as possible with the trousers of decorum."

Duff on it-ain't-like-it-was-when-I-were-a-lad: One may behave in the most bestial of ways whilst pretending to a life of rectitude, but if found out, you simply shrug it off as a momentary aberration and carry on as usual.

The only difference between these is that Lichtenberg neglected to mention what to do when you get rumbled.

[N.I.B.]

Things were so much better in the old days, back when you could slice up a few whores and carry on with being a Royal (or whatever it was). Nowdays you can't move for bloody Policemen and journalists trying to pull your decorum trousers down.

[David Duff]

Oh dear, I'd forgotten it was half-term and the kiddies would be allowed out to play!

[N.I.B.]

Oh lord no, what have you gone and done now David?

Don't panic - just tell the policeman that you forgot the curtains were open.

[barry bananas]

I think he's just realised that sitting inside writing nonsensical posts about boring bullshit is a waste of time when there're are playgrounds full of "kiddies" to stalk. Or something. Who the hell knows what he's on about, quite frankly.

[N.I.B.]

Well whatever it is, Barry, I think the least we can do is offer ourselves as character witnesses - I think 'confused' is the polite phrase...

[David Duff]

"I think he's just realised that sitting inside writing nonsensical posts about boring bullshit is a waste of time"

Possibly, but what does that say about those who spend so much time reading it and commenting on it?

[N.I.B.]

Possibly?

Er...

You know, after that little lecture on keeping your moral trousers fastened, I'd be inclined to be a little less equivocal than that.

[barry bananas]

"Possibly, but what does that say about those who spend so much time reading it and commenting on it?"

I know you are but what am I?