I am in my usual condition of bemusement, not to say, befuddlement, without, I might add, the aid of so much as a single sip of one of the three best things to come out of Scotland. (What are the other two? Soldiers and the Scottish enlightenment, of course!) Anyway, perhaps you, my readers, might be able to clear up my confusion which can be stated as a question: why do modern razors require five blades? I have been shaving for 50+ years and have managed on one blade per razor without ever being arrested on suspicion of vagrancy. True, about twenty years ago I suffered an attack of alopecia, although 'suffered' is hardly the word for a condition which neither hurts nor kills you, and ever since my beard has not been particularly strong, but even so, given the exorbitant cost of, not only those fancy-dancy new razors sets, but also the replacement blades which began with two blades per holder and now contain five, I switched to the cheapest possible alternative - Bic plastic throw-aways which cost a fraction of the price of the new Beckham-backed, post-modernist creations. The other question that occurs, is where will it all end? Next Christmas will we see The New Seven Blader to be called, of course, The Magnificent Seven, or perhaps Seven Blades for Seven Misters? Will this escalate into a trade war in which hairy westerners compete with the booming Chinese economy for steel supplies? And how long will it be, when we have the twenty blader, before 'Elf & Safety' warn of the dangers of dislocating one's shoulder trying to lift the bloody things?
This post is close to Whimsy Factor 10 and getting out of hand, I'm off to watch the footie on the telly!
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