Why I dislike the Enrights!

To be honest, I must state at the outset that most of my dislike falls on Anne Enright, a jobbing 'Oirish' scribbler who sicked up an essay entitled "Why I Dislike the McCanns" for the London Review of Books.  This pernicious and posy outfit seems determined to bump its readership by publishing as many muck-raking, sensationalist essays as it can so I will not bother my readers by linking to it.  'Ma' Enright's effort, full of sly, 'Oirish' innuendo in which suppositions are slid forward surreptitiously and then withdrawn quickly lest they be picked up, not least by m' learned friends, fits in well with what appears to be the editorial policy of this intellectually pornographic magazine.

She slithers and slides around her totally unfounded suspicions concerning the McCanns leaving a silver trail but also, unfortunately for her, leaving some clues concerning the Enright family; as for example when she admits to dosing her own children up for a cross-channel ferry trip and flying into a murderous rage with her son who, crime of crimes, refused to share his croissant with her at breakfast.  This led to 'Ma' Enright tearing the croissant to pieces and hurling it on the floor! I mean, is she fit to be a mother, one must ask?  She had been told previously that such emotional outbursts were "paradoxical rage reaction" but when questioned further her pet doctor friend said, no, that was an example of "drug hangover" - so that's alright then! (Who should be locked up, Enright, or her doctor friend?)

Lest you suspect me of overstating the diarrhoea-inducing filth of this woman's insinuations, try this from another discussion with her doctor friend: "How much do doctors drink? ‘Lots,’ she said. Why are the McCanns saying they didn’t sedate the child? ‘Why do you think?' "  Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean? She begins another paragraph with what I can only call a paradigm piece of crafty 'Oirish' insinuation, thus: "In one – completely unverified – account of her interrogation ..."  Do those two little words "completely unverified" give her pause, not a bit of it, she's off and away like a truffle-hunting pig, snorting and snuffling through the waste ground of lies and make-believe that surround this tragic case. Having brushed against the juvenile Enrights, who must surely be placed on the 'At Risk Register', we next meet 'Pa' Enright who, according to his disgusting wife, "came up the stairs to say that they’d all been wife-swapping – that was why the other diners corroborated the McCanns’ account of the evening."  A grown man dashes up the stairs full of excitement to share this piece of tittle-tattle? What a pathetic, gossipy, old queen he must be!  However, this 'Oirish' Sherlock Holmes goes on to report, "This, while I was busy measuring the distance from the McCanns’ holiday apartment down the road to the church on Google Earth (0.2 miles). I said they couldn’t have been wife-swapping, because one of the wives had brought her mother along. ‘Hmmmm,’ he said." Studying Google Earth?!  This woman is seriously demented and the fact that she has just won the Booker Prize, literature's  equivalent of the Turner Prize, now makes perfect sense.

I could go on, but frankly, even a hardened old bastard like me is beginning to feel sick in the stomach.  All I can do is swallow hard to keep the bile down and beg all of you, please, do not ever take out a subscription to the LRB, and never but never buy this disgusting woman's book!

Comments

[Elmer Quigley Gooseburger]

I am curious, Mr Duff, why you have chosen to give emphasis to the Irishness of the Enright woman.

That aside, your article is fluent bollocks.

PS

My money (oh that I had any) is on Kate "Skeletor" McCann...

[N.I.B.]

Shorter Duff: "What was that whoosing noise going over my head?"

[Pete Swashbuckle]

Okay, so this woman's article may well have been as disgusting as you say (and I'll have to take your word for it since you have declined to link to your sources) but what on earth does her being Irish have to do with it? You might well have a point here, but when you slather it with lazy bigotry you are surely destroying any chance that anyone might pay heed to it.

Couldn't you have made your argument about the merits or otherwise of her article just as well without mentioning her nationality? Your own writings are frequently challenged here on this site, but if this was done with such emphasis on your Englishness I imagine even you would find such a tactic a tad unfair.

[David Duff]

I do so, Mr. Swashbuckle, because, as I have mentioned once or twice before, I have a general antipathy towards the southern Irish and when I come across an individual who exhibits some of those very dislikable characteristics, I say so.

Oh, and please, please, do not come back and berate me for 'racism', it will get you no-where.

[David Duff]

That you have an opinion, Mr. Gooseburger, makes you human.

That it is based on nothing other than the instinct emanating from your gut, where-in, one must suppose, resides what passes for your brain, makes you part of the 'lumpen' grunt tendency.

That you express it *in public* without a shred of evidence to support it, despite the extreme anguish and tragedy of this case, makes you a particularly despicable member of the 'lumpen' grunt tendency.

Have a bad day!

[JuliaM]

"My money (oh that I had any) is on Kate "Skeletor" McCann..."

I can think of lots of reasons for official suspicion falling on the McCanns (balance of probabilities, forensics, lack of evidence of abduction, conflicting witness statements, etc ).

Funny, but it never occured to me to suspect her because of her physical appearance! And if it did, I think I'd refrain from commenting on anyone else's use of a physical descriptor for fear the resulting irony would cause my browser to implode.. ;)

[David Duff]

As I have written elsewhere, any policeman will tell you that in a domestic 'killing' the family, and close friends with access, are first in the frame because they have *opportunity*, but to go from that commonplace to a specific and public accusation of infanticide against the parents is beneath contempt. It is worth noting that much of this disgucting mob-rule campaign is led by people who would be proud to call themselves liberals!

[Pete Swashbuckle]

Oh, and please, please, do not come back and berate me for 'racism'

Well, I can't help it; I'm like you in that "when I come across an individual who exhibits some of those very dislikable characteristics, I say so". If you insist on acting like a racist, you can expect to be berated for it. Nothing fairer than that.

[David Duff]

So far, so predictable. Perhaps you would care to give me your definition of racism, and, if it's not too much trouble, tell me why it is wrong to attribute certain characteristics to groups of people - advertising agencies do it all the time! Or is it that one might indulge in the practice so long as you always end up liking everyone?

[Pete Swashbuckle]

Hmmm. For a subject that will apparently "get [me] no-where" you seem unusually keen to open a discussion about it.

[David Duff]

I am always happy to converse with readers. There is a serious discussion to be had on *exactly* what people, mostly liberals, mean when they use the word 'racism'.

I tell you what, leave it for the time being and I will post something over the weekend and if you feel like debating we can take it from there.

[N.I.B.]

David, is the following statement acceptable?

"I don't trust that Kate McCann because she is a scouser."

[Larry Teabag]

I will post something over the weekend

Yes please, can't wait! Your last thread on that topic (http://duffandnonsense.typepad.com/duff_nonsense/2005/11/hes_my_brother_.html) was one of the highlights of your blogging career (as I noted at the time: http://tamponteabag.blogspot.com/2005/11/duffwatch.html ).

Admittedly we've moved on a bit since then - then it was all about the "language commissars" who you pretend are always trying to stop you saying kraut and wog and all that, and it ended with you backed up into a corner, forced to admit your blind prejudice - uh, sorry - "generalized antipathy" towards the Irish, under pressure.

This time we're kicking off with the fact that your views are, by any sane definition, racist, already a point of mutual agreement.

Can't wait to see in which direction we'll be heading now, and which, if any, of your occasional sympathetic commenters will emerge to take your side.

[Larry Teabag]

Sorry, the first url was broken. It should have been this:

http://duffandnonsense.typepad.com/duff_nonsense/2005/11/hes_my_brother_.html

[Larry Teabag]

Hmm. Apologies.

here

[kim partners]

Larry, it was worth the three goes at getting the link right. That post is a classic - I particularly love how our host gets his ass handed to him several times over in the comments.

A couple of key Duff quotes from that old thread:

I do not think it right to insult individuals because of their country of origin

And the money shot:

I am a 'racist', so are you, so is everyone.

I'm with Larry, David. Please write another racism post - the last one was hilarious!

[David Duff]

When you stop laughing, Kim, perhaps you would care to explain what is wrong with those two statements which are both true and unexceptional.

[Witchfinder]

Ah, to be sure, she's a foine woman that Kate McCann...oh oi know the little one went walkabout or fell down the stairs or some such, but that's no reason for Annie Enright - the "poisoned dwarf of Oirish literature" to say such dreadful tings...I tink the Catholic Priest that took the McCanns to his heart (God bless him) has a story to tell..oh, and mine's a pint of Guinness, tank you kindly...

[kim partners]

When you stop laughing, Kim, perhaps you would care to explain what is wrong with those two statements...

I haven't stopped laughing, but I can fit this in between chuckles.

The first statement is funny because it is a statement of principle that has been completely contradicted by the current post, which is highly insulting to Irish people simply because they are Irish. In comments, you appear to have reduced Irishness to a set of unspecified "very dislikable characteristics" about which you are compelled to express your "general antipathy". All of this amounst to a pretty clear case of insulting someone because of their country of origin. Indeed, there appears to be no other reason for the insult.

The second statement is funny, first of all, because it is an admission of racism which arrived at the end of a long and deeply confused rant complaining that people always call you racist; thus, the accusation against you, with which you self-righteously took umbrage, turned out to be entirely accurate.

The rest of the second statement is written by someone who has belatedly realised that they can no longer dodge the accusations of racism, and has instead resorted to desperately trying to make excuses for their racism. The assertion that everyone is a racist is classic egotism, in that it is based on the premise that one's character flaws are not really flaws, since they are shared by everyone else. If you want to try and establish that everyone else is a racist too then good luck to you, but simply saying it doesn't make it so. At present it is an entirely baseless and unsubstantiated statement, in stark contrast to the first clause, "I am a racist", for which ample evidence is available all over these pages.

[Witchfinder]

Now don't get all in a tizzy lads...oi've been out cutting peat all afternoon and tinking about tings like racism and all such bollocks. If yer so sensitive about such tings, then it doesn't say much fer yer own opinion of yer self. Enjoy the crack fer god's sake, get some ale down yer, sing a few songs and keep an eye out fer the little blonde girlie.
Happy days...

[dc]

Duff seems to be doing a good job of trolling his own blog...:)

Guess he doesn't have a life. Sad, but not surprising.