In praise of ... the bacon 'sarnie'! Is there anything better on a lazy Sunday morning than a bacon 'sarnie'? (Yes, yes, I just about remember that, and where-as a few years ago any hint of it would have the little 'Memsahib' reaching for her karate kit, these days she just sniggers!) Anyway, I have just enjoyed my Sunday ritual and each time I smell the bacon cooking I am instantly removed backwards some 50 years to the long-demolished Smith-Dorrien Centre in Aldershot, a sort of volunteer canteen for the troops raised in memory of some old General who either won the Boer war or lost the Great War, I can't remember which, anyway, his canteen was the place we weedy-reedy recruits would go for our morning break. It was staffed by ladies of immense girth with arms thicker than the PTIs and when asked, politely, for a bacon 'sarnie' would bawl out their mantra, "Wiv, or wivou'?" Only the rawest of raw recruits would ask "Wiv or wivou' - wot?"; us old sweats of more than one week's service already knowing that it referred to the magical ingredient without which no bacon 'sarnie' is truly worthy of the name - HP sauce!
'Broon' does nothing - good man! It is, of course, the avowed policy of this fair-minded, tolerant blog to put the boot into 'Broon' as often as possible and preferably from his blind side! However, it must be admitted that from time to time even that monument to Jock stupidity must, if only by accident, do something right, and today, courtesy of 'Her Majesty's Sunday Torygraph', I can inform you that 'Broon', the incredible sulk, has refused to pick up the 'phone to that gangster who runs Russia. Our own exquisite 'Ministry for Foreigners' is in a terrible tizzy over it which is all the proof you need to be certain that 'Broon' is in the right. Britain has no need to cosy up to that ex-KGB thug until he begins to behave in a civilised manner, for example, by not murdering his fellow Russians in British restaurants!
Beyond parody: The lovely ladies over at Stroppyblog had me in stitches earlier this week when they advertised a potentially terrifying "Million Women Rise" march, part of which would be in support of the Southall Black Sisters organisation of which I have written below. In their efforts to recruit as many marchers as possible they included this passage which is beyond parody:
"It is a women and children only demo but the male supporters of SBS are still encouraged to come and stand on the sidelines (as it were!) to offer their support."
What a hoot! You only have to change the genders and they sound for all the world like those retired majors who used to run golf clubs into which the ladies were only permitted on certain specified days and only in certain specified areas.
Pro-Ams: My enjoyment of my bacon 'sarnie' was nearly ruined by the sight on my TV (not the sound which I almost always turn off) of Mr. 'Nick-Nick' Clegg, the sixth-former who now runs the il-Lib-non-Dem party. Apparently they are holding some sort of conference despite it being March not October. All the parties now seem to have extra conferences during the year and I couldn't help wondering why because they must cost a fortune and the Westminster politicians hate them. However, trawling the blogosphere, I think I have the answer. The Pros obviously feel it is necessary to give the Ams something to do. You only have to visit Susan Press's site to see what I mean. This bundle of unremitting socialist energy is always either off to some one else's conference or demo, or organising them herself. She never stops. She never achieves anything, either, which is something she is gradually becoming aware of, as can be construed from the more heartfelt of her bitter but honest comments. The Pros at Westminster realise the fear and loathing with which they are regarded by the rest of us but they can happily ignore the likes of me and you, but the Ams, like Susan Press, with their incessant activism, need to be tossed a bone or three to keep them happy. Thus, they are provided with more and more conferences at which they can nod and applaud or boo and hiss - and then write about it all on their blogs. Of course, they haven't changed a single thing but, hey (as some one or other used to say), it makes them feel, you know, like, really, really, committed - and indeed, most of them should be!
Is that an Irish style bacon or the English bacon that is really ham(gammon) or is it proper streaky bacon? Nothing on it but HP? Wouldn't a little cheddar or swiss make it much better?
My favorite sandwich is the bacon, lettuce and tomato on toast with lots of mayonnaise. Bacon must be crisp however and not just warmed as with the English and French.
Posted by: fallenmonk | Sunday, 09 March 2008 at 19:08
Only ever proper streaky bacon (not ham), 'FM', and my test is that you should be able to pick it up at one end and snap a piece off. I like it on ordinary un-toasted bread with plenty of butter that instantly melts under the hot bacon and usually dribbles out the corners of one's mouth after a bite. An appalling image, I agree, but Aldershot ("Home of the British Army") was not noted for its gastronomy and courtly manners, and I don't seem to have learned much since!
The humble sandwich has made a huge comeback over here in recent years with all the supermarkets selling them ready-packed, and the 'BLT' is a favourite. All this talk of sandwiches reminds me that one of my favourite cuisines is Scandinavian. Many years ago I had a Danish girlfriend (don't mention it to the little 'Memsahib'!) and I love the way they eat and drink there. In particular, I remember that they seemed not to go in for 'aperetifs', instead you get a shot or three of ice-cold Schnapps with the first course of herrings, and that gets everyone very social in no time at all! Then you go on to the smogasbord with a terrific choice of delicious things to put on a choice of several different breads - absolutely scrummy! I sometimes do it as a Summer supper, never as good as the Danes, but I try.
You really must try and call in during your time here, 'FM', the little 'Memsahib' is a super cook - but don't tell her, she'll only want a raise - and of course, the conversation round here is scintilating, at least, when I talk to myself, which I frequently do, I find it very fascinating!
Posted by: David Duff | Sunday, 09 March 2008 at 20:29
The treat of my youth was Ayrshire bacon, which these chappies claim to supply.
http://www.ramsayofcarluke.co.uk/bacon.htm
Posted by: dearieme | Monday, 10 March 2008 at 10:55
Thanks for that, 'DM', it is duly logged and I think you have solved several of our gift problems for next Christmas!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 10 March 2008 at 13:07