All the best games have been invented by us Brits. The fact that some of them are incomprehensible to most of the rest of the world is, of course, part of our cunning plan! Now, just to prove that our inventiveness has not decreased in line with the size of our empire, we have today invented a game that is likely to sweep the entire globe. It is called 'Running the Torch'. The way it works is this, you get a bevy of former sports stars and celebs to run a torch through the streets of London on behalf of any particular 'hate group' - it doesn't matter too much which one, anything that the Guardian is opposed to will do. This is guaranteed to bring out a mixture of old Trots who, whilst they cannot be expected to keep up with the torch given their years of veteran services to this or that demo, can be used to mount static ambushes en route. The younger Trots, filled with ideological fervour, are able to keep up and maintain a steady attack on the torch-bearers. It is essential in this new game that sundry politicians are involved at certain stages of the 'Torch Run' so that opportunities are available for pelting them with stale hamburgers, used condoms or pieces of concrete. The great thing about this new game is that almost everyone's a winner. The police will be required all day on a Sunday on double-time rates of pay and should thus be able to pay for the new wings to the houses they bought back in the good old days of the miners' strike. Really, the only losers are the tax-payers but, hey, who gives a toss about them?
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« Murder Inc. #31 (Mar 08) | Main | "Rage, rage, against the dying of the light" »
Sunday, 06 April 2008
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Oddly enough I stumbled across that very demo today on my morning stroll. I was rather tickled by them, well the ones with placards making rude if accurate remarks about the Chinese Communist Party. I didn't get involved mind, I was busy smoking a fag and leaning against a wall.
Posted by: Clairwil | Monday, 07 April 2008 at 01:11
Oh I should point out I haven't moved to London I was doing one of my courses. You'll be relieved to hear I'm now back on my side of the border.
Posted by: Clairwil | Monday, 07 April 2008 at 01:13
"smoking a fag and leaning against a wall".
Gosh, the odd things they run courses on these days!
Anyway, you should come 'sarf' more often, Clairwil, but please do try to leave your Scottish weather behind in future!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 07 April 2008 at 09:07
Ah yes the weather. I was most surprised to wake up to 'weather alert' plastered all over the news and began to wonder if I'd be stranded. Imagine my surprise when I got outside to find life carrying on much as normal. I do intend to go 'sarf' more often I've rather enjoyed it on my last two trips. If nothing else I need to have another laugh at 'Swiss Cottage' which might very well be the most absurd place on earth.
Posted by: Clairwil | Tuesday, 08 April 2008 at 00:25
What are they doing running with a live fire in torch? They could trip and burn somebody! : -)
I guess the nanny state hasn't completly won yet.
Posted by: Hank | Tuesday, 08 April 2008 at 03:48
Your game has already made it across the pond and all the players are set to have a big go tomorrow in San Francisco. The cops are all on double wage and everything is set for a rocking good time.
OT but you were quite right David. We should land to snow in Manchester tomorrow morning. So much for springtime.
Posted by: fallenmonk | Tuesday, 08 April 2008 at 14:40
Safe journey and happy landings. With a bit of luck I think we should be coming out of this winter snap by the end of the week so you might just get lucky and enjoy some spring weather.
Posted by: David Duff | Tuesday, 08 April 2008 at 15:03
You make it sound so much more appealing than it probably was Duff. I'm now a bit gutted that I didn't get down to 'that London' to join in the festivities. Anything that achieves the double whammy of making Labour and the Chinese Government look silly is worth every last penny of overtime for Plod.
Posted by: the ill man | Thursday, 10 April 2008 at 12:49
Please, 'Ill Man', feel free to use my Christian name. What is just as delicious about the whole farrago is that it makes the Olympic games look even sillier. I feel a Post coming on on that subject!
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 10 April 2008 at 13:49
A post did came up ("up" sounds better than "on". That's how I chose them) on that subject.
Posted by: Tatyana | Thursday, 10 April 2008 at 15:42
Ok David. Any chance you can free my name from the single quote marks? Just think, two less key strokes for you when you type my name.......... ;)
Posted by: the ill man | Thursday, 10 April 2008 at 19:47
Just for you, Ill Man, but you have no idea of the danger I am in. The shade of Miss Wood, Eng. Lit. & Lang., circa 1950-55, hangs over my every word. Thin-lipped, pinz-nez and definitely a spinster of the parish, her rebuke could halt a company of Grenadiers!
I suppose it's not polite to ask why you give yourself that 'nom-de keyboard', so just tell me to piss off and mind my own business, but the fact is, you look pretty healthy in your photos.
Posted by: David Duff | Friday, 11 April 2008 at 12:51