DUFF & NONSENSE!

The rise and rise of the British Nasty Party

That young whipper-snapper, Fraser Nelson, is at it again in this week's "Speccie" with an excellent, 'must read', piece of door-step reportage as he follows a BNP candidate canvassing round a housing estate.  If the Great British Public are gulled by these thugs with a smiling face they will not be to blame, the fault lies entirely with politicians at Westminster who have been so busy shoveling money they have forgotten the people who put them there.

I am away to Dusseldorf for a few days.  Play amongst yourselves but please leave the place looking tidy!

 

The greatest compliment to the dandruff-ridden hacks of Fleet Street

Via Drudge I note that the Liar-in-Chief Principal Press Spokeman at the White House, a fat tub of lard by the name of Robin Gibbs, described the British press in these terms: "You're not going to find very many of these newspapers and truth within 25 words of each other".  Yes, indeedy-doody-dandy, the words 'pot', 'kettle' and 'black' do spring to mind.  He was upset, you see, by reports in the British press describing the photos that 'Oprah' refused to release of prisoners's abuse as including "images of torture and rape".  You can read the synopsis here.  He looks really hacked off.  Shame!

That young Fraser Nelson should go far

Why?  Because he has obviously been reading this blog, that's why!  In an excellent post (I urge you to read it in full) over at The Coffee House he repeats much of what I have written here on several occasions when he spells out the simply enormous hatchet job that will face an incoming Tory government - non-stop ferocious hacking, slashing, cutting and severe pollarding of every bit of government spending.

"If the Tories protect health (as they say they will), then the cuts will be a cumulative 10 percent over transport, defence, education, police etc. This will dominate the next parliament. Huge schools cuts, huge military cuts – and all the time at the risk of the credit rating agencies pulling the plug."

Cameron is going to make Maggie Thatcher look like a kind and generous benefactor.

"He is going to be hated, because no one can cut to the extent he has to and be liked. His first term will be a war with the unions, who by then may have taken over the Labour Party entirely."

The dilemma he faces is exquisitely painful.

"So what’s his strategy? Does he shut up about it, and not let talk about Tory cuts enter the election narrative? You can see the temptation: no-one wants to talk about how they’re going to get into office and impose the sharpest education and home office cuts in postwar history. And you can bet that Brown will keep quiet about the cuts which Budget 2009 committed him to, if he wins.

But if Cameron does keep quiet now, and springs the cuts agenda on the public after the election, it could look like a discretionary move that the Tories embarked on for fun."

My solution is simple - honesty is the best policy.  As I have written here before, it is essential that he spells out, over and over again, the cold, hard facts of the dire situation that we face as a result of Brown's insane profligacy.  He must keep ramming it home to the British public that it is Brown who has created this disaster and that he, Cameron, has no other recourse except to put matters to rights and that the measures will be painful.  Tell the truth, blame Brown - and just do it!

Spots in front of my eyes

"But, Holmes, you have no spots in front of your eyes", said Dr. Watson.  "Exactly!" said Holmes.

Oh dear, you are probably thinking the old fool has completely lost it now and soon he'll be hearing voices.  You may be right but on this occasion I urge you to pay attention.  The spots I refer to are those that normally appear on the surface of the sun indicating some gigantic energy upheaval and the point of my Holmesian nonsense is to tell you that there are no spots on the sun and there haven't been any for the last 638 days!

Plot of sunspot numbers in an 11 year window with the present at the middle.

I have only the slightest of knowledge on the physics of the sun but commonsense tells me that compared to all of our coal-fired power stations, motor cars and farting cows what happens, or in this case, what does not happen, on the sun will have an enormously greater effect on conditions on earth.  Global warming is dead!  Global cooling is on the way unless and until we can sing truly that old childhood ditty "The sun has got his hat on, hip hip hooray; the sun has got his hat on and he's coming out to play."

If all those nonsense scenarios created by the 'Warmers' frightened the pants off you, you are a very silly boy - or girl - because warming would have had beneficial effects as well as deleterious ones; but cooling, well, there appears to be next to nothing on the up-side.  Crops will be harder to grow and the demand for energy will rocket - and the price of both will streak upwards.  I have faith in the ingenuity of Man and I do not doubt for a second that solutions will be found, but the journey will be rough, particularly for those most unfitted to face it, by which I mean the world's poor.

My debt to Anthony Watts increases - again!  Read the whole thing there.

Has the sun set on 'pax Americana'?

These are idle and not very well informed ruminations - so no change there, then!  Even so, as the new nuclear crazies on the block begin to sniff glue and flex their muscles it is worth asking who is going to patrol the neighbourhood and keep us safe at night?  All those anti-American Lefties (many of whom are American!) may be about to receive that which they wished for so fervently, a pacifist, 'Europeanised' America which withdraws in order to get in touch with its feminine side and becomes a sort of Social Democrat Sweden writ large.  The proof of that old saying 'beware what you wish for' will then become apparent.  Already the economic centre of gravity has shifted to the east and the tussle between the two new Asian super-powers can begin in earnest to decide whether the 21st century is to be Indian or Chinese.  Will America defend the Pacific?  Who knows?

As a Brit the question for me is what geo-political stance should my country take.  At the moment, given our poverty and our political palsy, there is virtually nothing that we can do beyond our shores.  However, there is plenty that needs to be done within them.  We need to become much leaner and much meaner.  The suffocating wet blanket of cradle to grave welfare must be thrown off.  We must leave the EU on as good terms as is possible and then set ourselves to return to being a global trader.  We must invest as much as possible, as quickly as possible, in nuclear energy to keep us independent of foreign sources. And we need to modernise our nuclear warfare capacity to the maximum - and fast!

During the Cold War the Americans could see the strategic necessity of curtailing Soviet ambitions in Europe and the bonus for us was that we were protected.  That condition no longer applies.  The Israelis have just found out in a brutally honest example of American real-politik that their continued existence is not necessarily an American interest anymore.  Exactly the same goes for us, only they haven't got around to spelling it out - yet!

This is going to be an interesting century - and you all know the old curse concerning living in interesting times - and exactly how all the power plays will develop is quite beyond my ability to forecast.  We need to face these myriad dangers from a position of robust strength, not over-estimating our influence, but not under-estimating our ability to fight our corner if and when required.  But we need to start preparing now!

The 'missing link' is, er, still missing!

Our very own nationalised broadcasting company continues to fall for every (not very) cheap huckster in or out of town provided they have a minimal scientific fig leaf to hide their nakedness.  However, just in case, they have also dug up their own fossilised 'people's favourite', David Attenborough, to give the whole farrago a sheen of respectability as they seek to convince us that a skeleton of some rat-like creature is the 'missing link'.  You probably read the headlines to the story in recent weeks as the drip feed of pre-publicity was turned on, and you probably thought this skeleton had only recently been discovered.  Sucker!

"The specimen itself was not, in fact, dug up a couple of years ago. It was instead purchased, for a reported $1 million, from an obscure private collector, who had held it for at least 20 years. From the beginning, the "research program" was an exercise in entrepreneurship, with an investment to be recouped. In the end, direct participants in this circus included the History Channel, the BBC, Little Brown, Hachette Livre, and other mainstream media "content providers."

So says David Warren as he does his best to nip this piece of Darwinist propaganda in the bud.

"Dr. Jorn Hurum, the Norwegian pop paleontologist who is the brains behind this media splash, has been flashing pictures of the Mona Lisa and the Rosetta Stone alongside his Ida  [The cutesy name given to this 47m-years old 'rat']. He calls her, "The Holy Grail of Paleontology!" and "The Lost Ark of Archaeology!""

I call 'her', in Python language, an 'ex-rat' but fit for suckers to swallow whole at their leisure.  OK, OK, it's not a rat but it is not anything special either - except that the skeletal condition is remarkable given its age.  In order to keep just this side of the respectability line, the 'entrepreneurs' (shall we call them?) arranged for a proper scientific paper to be published in an obscure internet site "PLoS One".  According to Warren:

"Actually read that paper, and the hype evaporates. The authors methodically distance themselves from every sensational claim in the fine print:

"Note that Darwinius masillae, and adapoids contemporary with early tarsioids, could represent a stem group from which later anthropoid primates evolved, but we are not advocating this here, nor do we consider either Darwinius or adapoids to be anthropoids."

This is one of several remarks disowning the very assertions they have associated themselves with by participating in the extravaganza. They want to have it both ways: to pocket the stardust, while protecting their academic reputations."

Well, I sort of admire their cheek, after all, they're only pulling the same sort of strokes I used to pull when I was flogging bits of 'shrapnel' and pretending they were cars!  However, I just wish that for once in a generation the BBC would get off its collective arse and actually do what they boast of doing all the time - investigative reporting.  Heh!  They couldn't investigate a dead rat!

Again (sighs!) I am indebted to the eagle-eyed Alan Sullivan.

First the baby, then the bath water, then the bath and then ...

Like all those bloody ants in my lawn who scurry hither and thither when I squirt ant powder into their nests, our politicians are turning this way and that as they desperately seek cover from the scourge of public opinion.  Unlike my ants who eventually slope off to another area - usually about 2 feet from where they began! - and build exactly the same nest again, MPs are looking at ways to build a new house of cards.  Like everything done in a panic it will likely prove a disaster.  The solutions to their current woes are fairly simple and straightforward:

1:    Dump the Human Rights Act and repatriate, unilaterally if need be, many of the powers that currently reside in Brussels.  We don't have to leave the EU, only reduce their power to rule over us.  Like the legendary Elizabeth Bott, they will 'squeam and squeam until they are sick' but they won't kick us out (unfortunately) because they sell too much to us.  This return of decision-making to Westminster will give MPs a proper job of work to do instead of being rubber stamp operaters for the Eurocrats.

2:    Publish all expenses including tax-paid junkets abroad - everything - every single little benefit they receive in cash or kind, put it all on the internet.

3:    Publish how they vote on everything that passes through the Commons. (Incidentally, and courtesy of The Coffee House, there is a site now open that tells you how your MEPs vote - if, unlike me, you have the faintest idea who they are: http://votewatch.eu/

4:    Having been elected, every MP should face an open-to-all reselection process prior to the second election he or she faces thereafter, that is, they 'enjoy' two parliaments before facing their party activists again.

5:     No laws or regulations to be passed that exempt MPs from taxes or penalties imposed on ordinary subjects - and that includes their subsidised drinks in the bars of the Houses of Parliament!

6:    All new Lords to be appointed by her Maj with the political Parties reduced to offering up a minimal number according to their strength in the Commons.  The only guidance for her Maj is that she should pick people who have distinguished themselves by rising in their chosen fields, be they professions, trades unions, military, business or just plain, honest workers who have lived clean, raised a family and contributed regularly in some way to their local communities.  Lords should serve for 10 years and then be retired with a pension.

All of the above is, of course, back-of-the-envelope-stuff so I am more than willing to hear any other ideas - or criticisms.

Additional:  I just caught the tail end of Cameron's speech outlining his ideas for future polity.  One phrase rang alarm bells in my head, he talked of "harnessing the wisdom of crowds".  In my experience crowds are seldom wise, usually wrong and frequently dangerous.  He appeared to be in favour of a sort of non-stop interchange between "the people" and the politicians.  That would be hopeless and wrong.  All I require of my politicians is that prior to an election they state clearly and h0nestly what their politicial philosophy is, that in Westminster they stick broadly to what they have declared (but not rigidly, circumstances change, future events are unpredictable) and that they do not abuse their power or the public purse.  Beyond that, they should be free to get on and govern!  In due time they will return to face "the people" and answer for their actions.  Cameron's notion of a continual inter-action between MPs and their electors will simply open the door to what the late Bernard Levin called 'sifs', single issue fanatics who will take advantage of the semi-open door Cameron would leave ajar in order to bully MPs into supporting some crackpot scheme or other.  The principle should be that once the politician is elected let him or her do the job and come back in 4 or 5 years and explain themselves.  If professional politicians are mostly rubbish, semi-professionals are abysmal - just look around 'Blogdom' if you doubt me!  Finally, I disagree with Cameron's idea of fixed-term parliaments, again on the principle that the politicians must rule the way they think best and answer to the consequences when they have to face the country.  For example, Brown's limpet-like grip on office does him more and more damage the longer it lasts and serves merely to bring him into greater contempt.

Non-service announcement

Sorry, folks, but for the moment, and for reasons known only unto the God who rules Typepad, I am unable to respond to comments.  So for once it is not my bad manners and/or temper!

Additional:  All is now well thanks to the delightful and delicious Kymberlie.

Andrew MacKay MP, R. (not) I. P.

So, we bid farewll to Andrew MacKay soon-to-be-ex-MP and knit quietly as we wait for his 'bit-on-the-side', Julie Kirkbride MP, to follow him up onto the political scaffold for Madame Guillotine to have the last word.  My joy is unconfined, see my last post for the reasons.  Even so I worry for myself. 

Regular readers will know that I am a mean, thumb-in-the-eye type of debater when crossed but my more discerning readers will know that this head-butting approach is something of a pose.  The fact is that my cynicism blankets any real sense of passion over the minutiae of day-to-day politics and my uneasy memories of past times when I used to spout similar tripe to my (usually young) opponents acts a brake to any real venom or feeling.  However, this Parliamentary corruption is beginning to get to me.  The brief anecdotes concerning Andrew MacKay which I related in my last post are the sum total of my knowledge of the man, and I know next to nothing concerning his new wife, Julie Kirkbride.  And yet ... and yet ... I feel a deep, simmering anger - no, that's not strong enough - a rage, a fury, almost a hatred, for the pair of them.  I want them both to suffer!  I think back to my 'white-knuckle' days as a home-based, one-man, car trader, desperately ducking and diving to shift a motor before the cheque hit the bank; the day when I was called up in front of the Inland Revenue who, amongst other things, went through my telephone records and demanded to know who the foreign calls had been made to; the quarterly sweats when the VAT was due; the day the Tories raised interest rates twice in one day to reach 17.5% because the Tories had decided to link to the Euro and I sat in my armchair and decided to go down to my local bank and toss the keys of the house over the counter ... all of that and much, much more is seared into my memory.  MacKay was my local MP then and for that fact alone he is the 'beneficiary' of all my deep-seated animus.  I hope the ghastly, creepy, smarmy, little shit ends up in jail, is buggered by an AIDs-infected 'lifer', and is left by his pretty little wife who runs off with a white-slave trader from Columbia!

And, yes, I do feel better for having written all of that, thank you for asking.  Even so, I worry about myself because it is not the usual me. And not only do I worry about myself but I worry about others.  If a usually laid-back, easy going loafer like me is shaking with barely suppressed fury, what are others feeling?  And what will be the outcome of all this anger?  I don't know, but I sense that somewhere in my bottle of Laphroaig there lies the answer, so I'm off and hope I feel better in the morning!

Guido does it again - courtesy of 'Beau Bo D'Or'!

That Guido Fawkes, no wonder we burn him in effigy every November 5th, such disrespect to his elders and betters.  I suspect the bonfires will burn even hotter in the gardens of some MPs later on this year.  Even so, this 'YouTube' effort is wickedly accurate; do watch and enjoy:

http://www.order-order.com/2009/05/make-gov-poverty-history/

NOTE: Original film from http://www.bbdo.co.uk/blog/ which goes straight on my 'Favourites'.

Incidentally, my previous MP, Andrew Mackay, is facing his constituents tonight.  I hope they burn him alive, too!  I never liked the man ever since I saw him prowling round our village one day during an election campaign dragging his toddler daughters with him!  A vain attempt, I suppose, to show how keen he was on family values.  Unfortunately, to use the common parlance, shortly there-after he 'ditched the bitch', and the kids, and set up a two-homes fiddle with Julie Kirkbride MP - I hope she gets the boot, too.  Also, I remember when Maggie opposed a Commons vote to increase MPs' pay and I would have expected Mackay, as a then junior minister, to follow his leader's line.  Instead he ratted and voted for the moolah.  All through the Blessed Margaret's reign, though I worshipped at her feet, I never once voted Tory because I couldn't stand that greedy, hypocritical, fornicator, Mackay.  Do it Bracknell!  The Lady of that name would not have hesitated.

Now this really is 'fright time'!

I saw on TV out of the corner of my eye the meeting a few days ago between Obama and Netanyahu but paid it little heed because I new that little in the way of hard news would be released and the true facts of what was said would not be published for years.  Only the fairly immediate developments on the ground would allow us to make a reasonably accurate guess as to what was, or more likey was not, agreed.  However, Herbert London in The American Spectator sums up the possibilities and probabilities and confirms my worst fears.

According to him, it is now fairly clear that Obama has called a halt to indiscriminate support for Israel and has given the Iranians the nod and the wink to proceed with their production of  enhanced uranium provided they stop short of actually building a bomb. One is forced to ask why, having successfully called the bluff of the Americans, the Iranians should not carry on to the nuclear end?  At which point the focus will swivel in the direction of Tel Aviv and the hard-eyed prime minister who is responsible for safeguarding his country.  What will he do?  According to Herbert London, Obama has made it crystal clear that he will not support Israel if she attacks, indeed, just the opposite, he will lead the way in sanctions against her and suspend military support.  Once again in their history the Jews know that they are on their own and the choice is either surrender and death, or fight to live.  Netanyahu is not the sort of leader likely to accept the former.  In some ways, I guess, it might be a relief to the Israeli leadership - and the nation - to know that their destiny lies in their own hands, untied by restrictions from Washington.  The only difficulty is whether they have the military means to deliver a decisive blow against the Iranian facilities.

One effect is almost certain in the very near future, and that will be the nuclear arming of Saudi Arabia.  There is no way that the Saudis will allow a Persian nuclear hegemony to be established in the region.  They may be starting from behind but with their money they can buy the technology wholesale from the Pakistanis.  If America, in effect, washes its hands of the situation, then perhaps China, constantly in need of oil supplies, will step in to help the Saudis re-establish equality of nuclear force.  In any event, I would not be surprised to see a rapprochement, probably secret, between Saudi Arabia (and some other Arab countries) and Israel.  For years now the plight of the Palestinians has never been held in high regard in many Arab countries who have simply used it as an excuse to strike attitudes but do nothing.

Whatever happens, Obama has taken far and away the most serious decision of his presidency, breaking a policy of support for Israel that dates back to the 1940s.  Whether it will prove to be a stroke of genius, or a gross dereliction of duty, only time will tell, but I know which way I'm betting!

 

My first time - and I was shaking!

Yes, it was my very first time and I was really nervous.  Well, you know what it's like when you decide it's time to forget the old boring things you do and try something new, and you are all too conscious that it is important that your partner enjoys it as much as you because it's you that talked her into doing it.  Anyway, last Friday I did it -  I took the 'Memsahib' and some friends to a rock concert!  Of course, young whipper-snappers like Dr. 'Teabag' will sneer when I tell you that it was billed as a "Symphonic Queen" concert featuring the Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra and the songs of the old rock group 'Queen'; he will probably insist that it wasn't a proper rock concert at all.  Well, if it wasn't then God help anyone who attends a real rock concert.  It was dreadful, dire, appalling - a complete nightmare.

I had better explain this aberration in my behaviour.  First, I do actually quite like some of the songs produced by 'Queen'; second, we do attend concerts by the BSO from time to time; and third, it is usually me that chooses the concert - that way I get to hear my favourites!  (Yeah, yeah, I know, self, self, self!)  Anyway, seeing this 'Queen concert' on their programme I thought that it would be a nice change for the 'Memsahib' and friends who have suffered my taste for so long.  I assumed, silly naive 'boy' that I am, that it would be more 'symphonic' and less 'Queen'.  Wrong!  I was encouraged in this folly by seeing that the vast majority of the audience were 'greybeards' like me.  I had forgotten quite how long ago it was since 'Queen' broke up following the death of their lead singer whose name escapes me - if I ever knew it.

Anyway, I settled down in my seat, the orchestra entered, tuned up, four young singers appeared stage right, a short silence ensued - and then all hell broke out!  I have never in my life heard such a cacophony, it amounted to 'cruel and unusual punishment'.  It reminded me of my old interrogator days when we used to have a sound box into which we placed recalcitrant 'prisoners' and blasted rock music at them (which failed in the case of two SAS men whom we found jiving when we opened the door!)  Suffice to say that I have never heard such a monstrous noise in all my life.  I could feel the floor trembling beneath my feet, and then worse horrors were inflicted on us when the constantly shifting lights suddenly switched direction straight into the audience and thus into my face!  I spent the entire evening cowering behind my programme in an effort to hide from the lights.

Eventually we staggered out of the concert hall and I was aware that old friendships, to say nothing of my marriage, were hanging by a thread.  Even worse, I suspect, I will no longer be entrusted to choose which concerts we go to.  I need hardly tell you that the audience rose to its feet singing and swaying and cheering at the end.  Now, it is, I think, permissable for an old cove like me who should know better to make a mistake, but what's the excuse for people who keep ticket touts in business by returning to such horrors again and again?   Truly, you will never go broke under-estimating the taste of the Great British Public.

Mr. Speaker Field

I am no expert on the myriad characters who inhabit the Westminster village but if, as seems likely today, Speaker Martin resigns, then one man stands out as an obvious choice to replace him - Frank Field MP.  He has consistently stood his political ground and due to Brown's machinations he lost his ministerial job for doing so.  He, above all, will know that the first duty of the Speaker is to protect the proper interests and prerogatives of the House against an over-mighty executive, particularly the current incumbents whose penchant for bullying, smearing and lying is now clear to all.  For a start, the new Speaker needs to put a stop to the practice of ministers leaking new policies to the media before they announce them to Parliament, and any SPADs caught doing their master's dirty business should be hauled to the bar of the house.  Secondly, ministers who lie to Parliament (see Ed Balls, passim) must be forced to attend the House and explain themselves.  The easiest job the new Speaker will have to do is to clear up the mess left by the current expenses imbroglio because all that is needed is for all expenses claimed by individual MPs to be published monthly on the internet - sorted!

There may be other honourable members as suitable as Frank Field - for example, there is a young Conservative who employs no staff whatsoever but runs his office single-handed - but I think Frank Field has the seniority and the respect of most observers.

 

The Arabists still run our 'Ministry for Foreigners' - apparently!

A nice, tongue-in-cheek piece of satire from Joseph Shatton in The American Spectator, purporting to be a memo from the Arab-Israeli section of the FO to the Prime Minister.  It would have made me smile except for the fact that it is too near the truth for comfort.  Read it - and weep!

Strict correction is good for you - ask Max Mosley!

I have remarked both here and elsewhere that the recent economic correction is, in the immortal words of Sellar & Yeatman, "A Good Thing".  It is proof positive that capitalism is alive and well and kicking, even if the kick is to that most tender of spots, one's wallet.  It is exactly the opposite of state run economies in which, because governments can never be wrong, nothing is ever corrected for generations (see: Soviet Union, China, et al).

Similarly, the current train wreck which is our beloved House of Commons could only have occurred in a democracy in which, eventually, the sources of deeply unpleasant smells are traced and uncovered and sprayed with disinfectant.  Of course, it is a tribute to the intelligence of our legislators that they assumed that the light ahead was the end of the tunnel when in fact it was an oncoming express!  Never mind, a considerable number of them will be culled in one way or another in the near future and replaced by a fresh class of delusional psychopaths who will continue the proud tradition of the House by getting most things mostly wrong, but at least, for a while, they will keep their grubby little fingers out of my wallet.

A more interesting question, if you will allow me to be pontifical, is 'whither British politics?'  As Peter Hitchens, Peter Oborne, et al, never stop warning us, the party system is past its 'sell by' date.  It has been obvious for a long time, well, obvious to those not blinded by party prejudice, that you could not put a fag paper between Labour and Conservative governments since the demise of 'that woman'.  All we have now is a 'political class' of pragmatists, using that word in the sense of doing whatever it takes to keep their fat arses on the Parliamentary benches, or better still, the ministerial chairs.  Ideology is dead and its rotting carcass is left to the mouth-breathers of the National Front and the children in the 'Trot-lot' creche to fight over.  One only need spend a modicum of time over at Grimmer Up North (ever a true word said in jest!), or Stroppy Blog, to catch a glimpse of life on another planet.  Given the burial of ideology we must now wallow about in the slushy middle ground of semi-capitalism and semi-socialism. 

Thus the question arises, what need for political parties with their patently false colours of Left and Right, Red and Blue?  Why not whip the Whips out of the chamber and let our pols (= diminutive of 'politicians' or 'poltroons') stand or fall as they see fit?  Let each member fight the good fight for election and having succeeded let him or her stand or fall on each issue and be judged every five years.  You may say that government would be weakened, to which my reply would be 'Hurrah!'  We are the most over-governed generation Britain has ever suffered.  The more the politicians interfere in our lives, the more legislation they drive through with the help of the bully boys from the Whips' Office, the greater the cock-ups, the expense, and the irritation.

Time for change!  Yes we can! 'Ullo, 'ullo, that sounds familiar!

Good News/Bad News!

Good News:                     There has been a fire in the EU headquarters.

Bad News:                       It failed to burn down.     

More Bad News:            I will have to pay for the repairs.

But some Good News:  So will you.  (Heh, heh, heh!)

Moral of Tale:                Vote UKIP at the next Euro election!

Normal service is resumed

Apologies for the break in service but I did warn you all that we had visitors plus my birthday celebration - I am now precisely and exactly three score years and ten - and one day!  It is normal for the elderly - oh alright then, the ancient - to offer the young sage advice learned over a lifetime of experience.  Well, I've 'thunked' and 'thunked' but the fact is that I cannot think of a single useful bit of advice for anyone!  I look back on my life and all I see is a series of extraordinary flukes.  Like a piece of flotsam I have bobbed along life's endless stream and without any effort on my part I have managed not to sink to the bottom or become grounded in the mud flats on either bank.  I suppose I must have taken certain decisions in my life but I don't recall any of them, I just drifted along following my instincts.  Occasionally, when I am giving one of my talks, I am asked for a brief cv and I tell them that I am 'a jack of all trades and a master of bugger all' - and it's true!  I have had seven very different jobs in my life and I haven't been particularly good at any of them - and yet, and yet - life has been very good to me.  "It's a mystery!"

"O brave new world!"

Here's a little horror story from that nirvana of social democracy - Sweden.  Apparently it has been decided that abortions should be legal on the basis of the child's gender.  Too many little male demons and desperate for a nice little girl? Well, keep 'offing' the male foetuses until the DNA dice fall right.  Or the other way round if you are desperate for a son.  Either way, it proves yet again that the savage within us is never far from the surface and Whiggish notions of steady progress to a higher life are more likely to descend to the charnel-house.

I'm in love - again!

I know, I know, at my age I really should know better and the fact is that I'm beginning to lose track of all the ladies I have 'met and loved' in the magical world of Blogdom.  Just thinking of the most recent, whatever happened to the fiery Tatyana, and the gorgeous Mrs. Palin who never answered my letters, and for God's sake don't tell Sister Wolf there's another woman in my life, she can really cut up rough!  It's not my fault, the fickle dart of love falls where it may and once again it has pierced my heart.  Just go here and listen to the delicious but dangerous to cross, Liz Cheney, daughter of Bush's consigliori, as she conducts cruel and unusual (but deserved) punishment on a particularly dim NBC interviewer (or, mouthpiece for the Democratic party as I usually think of them). 

My thanks to: http://www.ihatethemedia.com/ a site worth looking at, I think.

Guffaws from Guido

The indespensable 'Guido Fawkes' provides us all with a chuckle as we ordinary subjects struggle with our tax returns in order that leaders are kept in the style to which they aspire - click here and then click on the YouTube film.

"The mirror cracked from side to side"(*)

I do not know how much the Daily Mirror costs, never having knowingly purchased a copy, but if it is a penny more than a free sheet it is too expensive!  There is only one story in town at the moment and that is the parliamentary corruption of Labour ministers.  I have checked The Mirror's website in the last two days and all mention of it has been buried in tiny print in the side-bars.  In addition, their mouthy, Geordie, political correspondent(?), Kevin Maguire, the intimate of the recently departed sleaze merchant, Damian McBride, must be concentrating on the Chelsea Flower Show, or something, because so far he has had absolutely nothing to say on this huge story of Labour corruption.  However, on Sunday I suspect the gaff will be blown on Tory greed and then, I guess, Maguire will suddenly find his self-righteous voice again.

I never expect hacks to be neutral - I constantly repeat Kruschev's words "There are no neutral men" - but I do expect a senior correspondent in a national newspaper to report and comment upon the biggest political scandal to hit Britain in decades - otherwise, what is he for?  And what is The Daily Mirror for?  If it is simply to be the Pravda to Gordon Brown's polit-bureau then I can only suggest to my readers that in these straitened times they buy a copy for use in the bathroom in order to save money on the luxory, double-quilted toilet tissue they normally use.  Hopefully, perhaps someone at Sky News will have noticed Maguire's dereliction of duty and stop inviting him on to their nightly newspaper commentary programme.

(*) From Tennyson's "Lady of Shalott", a real old tub-thumper of a poem.

ADDITIONAL:  Well, you could blow me down with a feather, really you could, today the 'cracked Mirror' site puts the 'snouts in the Westminster trough' story as its lead!  Er, Tory snouts that is - natch!

So, is he a Hamlet or a Coriolanus?

The 'he' I refer to in my title is David Cameron, the man most likely to be our next prime minister.  Anyone who has studied the play will know that Hamlet was never hesitant or undecided, all he wanted was proof before he acted, but popular mythology will have it that he was a 'bottler' so for the purposes of this post I will bow to public opinion.  So, if Hamlet was incapable of taking a decision, then Coriolanus took his instantly, angrily, perhaps thoughtlessly, but always courageously according to his own lights.  The question remains, which is Cameron?

I am obliged to Fraser Nelson of The Spectator for doing the sums and providing us all with a clear description of the butcher's bill that awaits the government (whoever forms it) in 2011.  Nelson, in turn, leans on an analysis provided by the Institute of Fiscal Studies who have painstakingly trawled through the budget books and teased out all the nasty little details which Brown wants to keep well-hidden in the midden.  The result is, in effect, the government of 2011 will be forced to institute cuts of 7% over 3 years - "the sharpest, most sustained budgetary retraction attempted by any post-war government."  And that savage regime is only on the basis that the figures and estimates provided by Brown's glove-muppet, Darling, are correct - 'Elf 'n' Safety Warning:  Don't hold your breath!

Apparently, 'Boy' George Osborne has in mind some cove called Phillip Hammond to act as his Butcher-in-Chief with a remit to take his sharpened steel knives to any and every departmental budget.  At this point, reading Mr. Nelson's essay I began to feel rather cheerful and even wondered if I should put the 'Speccie' down and indulge in some delighted hand-rubbing to match my unaccustomed smile.  Then I read on and the smile vanished!  Apparently that awful wet, Andrew Lansley, has been told that his NHS budget is sacrosanct.  This means that Education, Home Office and Defence will have to cut by an average of 3.7% year on year for 3 years.  No mention, so far, of the social security budget!

I can see the predicament in which Cameron finds himself.  No electorate likes to be told the truth, but they are equally savage when, as it always does, truth finally comes out and they are shocked to have been kept in the dark.  It might be a risk to the Tories to start spelling out some of the butchery they will be forced to execute but at least for the next 12 months they can keep jabbing their fingers at Brown and the Labour party as they blunder their way towards the cliff edge like so many loony lemmings.  Indicating the depth of the cuts to come might cost the Tories something on the electoral fringes but instead of worrying too much about the coming election, which is as near a dead cert as any since the war, Cameron should worry about the election after that.  If he obfuscates the grim details now he will be hated by those taken by surprise, but if he spells it out now at least a section of the electorate will remember that he was honest and straightforward and, to quote a saying of our 'cousins', he told it like it was!

Finally, I would offer one suggestion that no-one else, as far as I know, has put forward.  He should publicise the national debt figure starting now, rather like those idiots who keep running totals of what they think the Iraq war costs.  Cameron should keep hammering home the message that this is Brown's debt which he and the Labour party have bequeathed the nation.  Then he should keep the running total going through his administrations to show the figure diminishing so that the message is rammed down the throats of every voter that although things are tough they are slowly but gradually having a good effect and the Tories are cleaning up the dog pile left by Labour.

But still the question remains and nags away, is he a Hamlet or a Coriolanus?

A 'warmer' gets his fingers burnt!

Yes, yes, I know I'm being idle and just giving you links to read instead of some of my own, home-made, elegant prose and brilliant insights (waddya mean - hurrah?) but I really am busy and next week we have visitors followed by a big lunchtime drinks and nibbles 'do' to celebrate the fact that the little 'Memsahib' and I have tottered into our three score years and ten.  I am reliably informed that past that landmark one is on borrowed time - that thought should keep me sober!  By the way, I rather flashed past that "drinks and nibbles" part.  The 'Memsahib' talked me into using Waitrose's party food service - well, when I say "talked me into", I mean she began to fetch out her karate suit from the wardrobe - anyway, I never knew "nibbles" could cost so much!

On top of that I have been working like mad to build up two PowerPoint presentations to support my old-fashioned, 'chalk 'n' talk' military history talks.  I gave the first one last week on Ulm & Austerlitz - of which more later - you have been warned!  Next week, it is the Schlieffen Plan.  Tomorrow zee verld!  Oops, sorry, where was I? Ah yes, PowerPoint, what a toy for boys!  I have even designed a little cartoon with moving figures to illustrate a particular point.  Naturally, I have built in very loud sound effects from time to time to stop my audience dozing off as I 'Bore for Britain'.

So you see, mes enfants, I am somewhat pressed but here is a link to a really juicy, mouth-watering scandal.  The sort of thing that if it had happened in Victorian times would have led to a lip-smacking scandal, all the more savoury for the fact that it has set academics against academics, and there's no-one like professors for splurging blood and guts all over the place.  Throw in a possible criminal fraud with a year in clink for the perp (sorry, the second series of The Wire has begun), plus the public disgrace of a major scandal in one of America's prestigious universities and you have the makings of a great movie!  In fact, if it had happened in Victorian times either Maughan or Rattigan would have written a play about it in the 1930s and called it "The Affair at Albany" or some such.To add a certain frisson, the accuser is a decent British chap (hurrah!) and the accused a  Chinese-American rotter (boo!)  Anyway, buy your popcorn, settle down and read this from the ineffable Anthony Watt's site: http://wattsupwiththat.com/2009/05/03/climate-science-fraud-at-albany-university/#more-7554

The MSM biased? Perish the thought!

Another example of a picture being worth a thousand words (via Drudge):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VAfJyzN3ak

The stench of moral corruption

I am pressed for time - again - and so I will provide you with a link to an essay by Nick Cohen.  It is long-ish but if you really want to know the depth and breadth of the stinking moral corruption that infests our government and our media, you must read it.

http://www.standpointmag.co.uk/fear-and-filth-at-browns-number-10-may-09-features-nick-cohen-gordon-brown-martin-bright-damian-mcbride-guido-fawkes-ed-balls-ch?page=0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C0

Gordon Brown and the maggots who surround him are sick.  They must be put down.  And you may get your chance earlier than the experts predict.  There are increasing signals coming from inside the Treasury that Brown's refusal to take the knife to government spending before his planned election next year is building up an ominous thunder-head.  The international bond market does not like watching a profligate government spending its money like a drunken sailor.  It will only take so much before it baulks at one of Brown's sales of government debt.  The repurcussians from that catastrophe would instantly collapse the Labour government, and no government forced from office in such a state of ignominy could hope to survive an election, and indeed, the entire party might be decimated at the polling booths.  It may be that fear which is driving more and more of Labour's 'big cats' to come out of the jungle to spit and snarl at their 'leader of the pack'.  We could have an election in the Autumn.

If we do, once again I re-iterate the angry words of Hamlet's step-father, "Do it England!"

Hat tip to The Coffee House