DUFF & NONSENSE!

Name: Balls, E. Form: Lwr. 5th Grade: 'F'

I will leave you to decide what the 'F' stands for!  After 11 years of government the "Education, education, education" Labour party is bringing out its, oh, I don't know, 4th? 5th? major white paper on education which appears now to be undoing all that was proposed under the previous white papers.  'Ed (Blinky)' Balls made me shiver this morning as he stared at me maniacally out of my TV screen with his bulging eyes.  As usual with all government ministers, I switched the sound off, and fell to wondering exactly how high our education service rates in 'Blinky's' scale of priorities.  Only a couple of weeks ago he was all fired up with the hope that he would be the next Chancellor, and his full-time employment appears to be a despairing attempt to keep 'ur wee Gordie' in Downing Street, but on the other hand, there are increasing rumours that he is now far more concerned with getting himself elected leader when the men in white coats finally knock on the door of No. 10.

In the meantime, education is sluiced down the pan, and we can all laugh or weep, according to taste, at the recent story of 18-year-olds who were unable to understand the term "despotic tyranny" in a recent A-level history exam!  Even more vomit-inducing is the sight of semi-educated smart Alecs here sneering, not at the thickoes with no vocabulary, but at the people who are genuinely shocked at this example of abysmal ignorance.  And these university-educated slobs consider themselves, rightly, I suppose, as prime examples of our brave, new wave, younger generation of intelligentsia!  God help us all!

It must now be a truth universally acknowledged that all ministers of education are a waste of precious oxygen and so is their Westminster department, to say nothing of the countless fat, leeching bureaucracies that have spawned around the country under the title of local education authorities.  The solution is simple: close down all the LEAs, give every parent a voucher, sell all the schools to their teachers (formed into a co-operative) for a penny and tell them to get out there and earn their living by providing a good service to their customers, the parents. 

 

Is the drunken sailor in charge really Capt. Queeg?

I must begin with an apology.  I have frequently implied that our prime minister spends money, our money,that is, like a drunken sailor.  That is a gross slur on sailors, drunk or sober, who tend, on the whole to spend their money on personal pleasures - "Rum, bum and baccy", according to "A Former Naval Person"!  Anyway, I gave the impression that 'Able Seaman Broon' just threw our money around for personal pleasure and as a sop to his atavistic socialism.  He obviously derived great pleasure from it and quickly surrounded himself with a circle of admiring and flattering toadies who encouraged him to devise crooked, underhand ways of spending other people's money without them fully realising the awful extent of it.

Now he has been found out and the full scope of his 'Ponzi scheme' is beginning to enter the public consciousness.  A man of wit and intelligence would try to talk the calamity down, blame others and set about putting matters right by cutting spending and thereby taking credit for his great financial rectitude.  Well, he has certainly ticked off the first two items on his 'to do' list, and it is obvious now, even to the economically illiterate, that he will have to do the third.  However, Queeg-like, he sits glumly in the Downing Street bunker, clicking the little steel ball-bearings in his hand, and recites over and over again that he will not be cutting - but spending!  He keeps re-iterating this lie in more and more strident language.  He appears in public, grinning and nodding, his mouth falling open at odd moments, his body jerking from right to left, like some sort of demented marionette.  Today, almost certainly at the behest of his private cabal, he has postponed the spending review which should, by his own rules, take place this year - until after the election, and will thus be free to carry on borrowing and spending and splurging and then borrowing even more . . . and even more . . . and yet more.

'Capt.' Brown is mad - stark staring bonkers.  If his cabinet had the courage of even a weasel they would lead him quietly away to a rich man's clinic in Switzerland.  Alas for our poor country, none of them have the guts.  Chancellor Darling is a pitiful broken figure.  The ex-postie who thinks he's running the Home Office is as thick as a sack of spanners.  Miliband, Balls, Cooper, Harman and the rest of them, appalled as they are, can only mutter jabberwocky behind their sleeves.

The only very slight encouragement to be found in this unfolding disaster is the obvious fact that Tory Central Office is watching carefully the words of Duff & Nonsense because, after much urging from these august columns, it now appears that Cameron has learned that a good officer shouts "Come on!" not "Go on!" and he seems determined to lead a long and persistent charge head on into the barrage of prime ministerial lies and obfuscations.  I think, I hope, I pray, that the country senses the fact that they are led by a psychotic liar and fantasist and that at the next election they will ensure the utter destruction of Gordon Brown, his wretched cohorts and inded the entire not-fit-for-purpose Labour party.

Black-and-white minstrel dies! World in mourning! Duff asks, "Who he?"

I have odd habits in bed at night! (now then . . .  remember, I do the jokes here!)  One of them is that I often go to sleep with a radio ear-piece burbling away in my ear (so as not to disturb the little 'Memsahib' who can cut up rough if her beauty sleep is disturbed).  I used to tune in to the World Service but found it rather repetitive, so now I stick to Radio 5 Live.  You will notice that both are talk radio stations because I found that when I tried Classic FM the music would often be so enthralling I actually couldn't get to sleep.  Anyway, last night I settled down only to discover that the BBC (and apparently, the rest of the world) has gone into a sort of catatonic shock over the death of Mr. Michael Jackson, the well-known clown whose antics have kept us all chuckling over the years.  It was obvious that to poor little Richard Bacon on Radio 5 the end of the world had occurred as he endlessly repeated in shocked, hushed tones that, so to speak, yet another warbler had fallen off the twig but that this one might actually cause the earth to wobble on its axis.  One might have thought that 'St.' Obama, himself, had passed away - fat chance!  Anyway, it was obvious that the BBC was going to indulge itself in an all-night welter of wet, windy sentimentality over a not very talented song-and-dance man so I tore the ear-piece out and lay awake most of the night listening to the little 'Memsahib's' breathing - which became rather fast and agitated at one stage - she must have been dreaming of me, I suppose.

Additional:  Paul Waugh has a rather charming vignette concerning the late Mr. Jackson, here.

Mummy, mummy, my brain hurts!

Of course it hurts because it's very titchy, even titchier than 'Little Willy's', er, little willy, so that when I contemplate really complicated things like 7x8=? . . . I begin to feel my own pain, never mind yours.  And when I go on to immerse myself in questions like the how? and the why? of life in the universe  then a serious migraine instantly appears.  Well don't think about such things, you silly old fool, I hear you mutter under your breath but the unfortunate fact is that I am cursed with galloping curiosity.  These, and other questions, some profound, some downright dippy, tease away at me and then I go and buy (another) book, and hey-ho my brain-ache begins!

The "onlie begetter" of this particular headache is Paul Davies, author of a slim volume entitled "The Fifth Miracle".  Davies is a physicist with "research interests in black holes, cosmology and quantum gravity" - yeeees, quite!  In this book, published in 1999 so that it's possibly been overtaken such is the speed of scientific discovery, he takes his readers on a journey from the indescribably immense down into the incredibly tiny, from the birth of the universe to the creation of the first molecules.  He offers the hypothesis that life began, not in Darwin's famous "warm little pond", but inside microscopic rock fissures deep below the oceans and close to hot volcanic vents.  Davies is a scrupulously honest writer and hedges his hypothesis about with myriad ifs, buts and maybes.  (It is a particular pleasure to me, as someone who has wasted too much time trying to grapple with so-called 'climate scientists' - step up, 'Little Willy' - many of whom refuse to open their research to others that in this book Davies allows us a glimpse of the great and serious controversies that wrack this area of science but whose practitioners are entirely open with their 'facts and figures' thus permitting careful scrutiny.)

However, in addition, Davies postulates that whilst we are undoubtedly descendents of an original microbe, that microbe itself might not have been the first, or second, or whatever.  Such was the ferocity of the inter-stellar bombardment the earth received in its early days that truly original, microbiotic life forms might have been wiped out, perhaps more than once.  The question then arises as to how likely would it have been if, say, effort #2 had succeeded that the end result would have been much the same as you now see about you?  So far, so . . . well, so maybe!  But then Davies throws in a curved ball by suggesting that life might have originated on Mars - first!  Apparently its current barren, bleak, inhospitable resemblance to a Burnley housing estate should not be taken as a forever!  A little before life evolved on earth (3.8 to 3.5 billion years ago), Mars was rather warm and wet and pressurised properly with all mod cons in the volcanic and deep sea departments and could well have been the first progenitor, so to speak.  Davies theorises, with considerable persuasion, that large inter-stellar debris slamming into the Martian surface (see, those yobs get everywhere!) would have, in turn, hurled huge amounts of debris out into space and much of it would have landed here on earth.  (In fact, Martian rocks have already been identified on earth.)  He maintains that very primitive microbiological life forms in a state of suspended animation could have been carried inside these rocks, thus protecting them from all those nasty rays that flash about in space, and having splashed into our oceans they might well have found the right spot to jog them back into action.  Equally, he is at pains to point out, it is possible that the process went the other way with earthly life forms being hurled at Mars.  ("Heh, heh, there goes the neighbourhood!")

Hanging over all this unbelievably fascinating and exciting stuff, is a truly monster question.  Let me put it this way:  "In the beginning" there was just matter and energy (two sides of the same coin, according to young Einstein) and - gravity.  I emphasise the word gravity because I find it completely mysterious.  I know how it works (well, in layman's terms) but no-one has ever explained to me why it works.  Why should a mass of something attract something else at a distance?  Mind you, it's a good job we have it because the universe began with (I seem to remember from another of those damned books) approximately 75% hydrogen atoms and 25% helium atoms with minute traces of odds and sods to make up the basket [corrected thanks to my first commenter].  There was, I am assured, very slight imperfections in the pattern of the explosion that emanated from the 'Big Bang' which meant that some of these atoms combined and immediately that happened good old gravity began its work.   Without it, stars and galaxies would never have formed, and neither would we.  It is at this point, the very earliest of moments of the life of the universe that the monster question arises: Does the universe contain Laws that tend towards the eventual creation of life?

Well, of course, no one knows but here is a quote from Freeman Dyson : "The more I examine the universe and study the details of its architecture, the more evidence I find that the universe in some sense must have known we were coming."(1)  The answer will only be found if and when it can be conclusively shown that life has not and could not have developed anywhere else in the cosmos.  The point is that if our own galaxy (either Earth or Mars, or possible both) are the "onlie begetters" of life then it can be assumed that the whole thing was a fluke, a one-off chance in a zillion.  This would suit the 'Darwinistas' because the opposite conclusion, that life has not only developed in this galaxy but all over the universe in countless other galaxies, would imply (I put it no higher) some sort of guiding purpose or aim in the Laws of Physics.  That sort of thing might actually send 'Archbishop' Dawkins completely round the bend that he is already halfway around - so it can't be all bad! 

You would be right to doubt my pathetic attempts to sum up a complex scientific and philosophical controversy, so let me finish by quoting Davies's final paragraph:

"The search for life elsewhere in the universe is therefore the testing ground for two diametrically opposed world views.  On the one hand is orthodox science, with its nihilistic philosophy of the pointless universe, of impersonal laws oblivious of ends, a cosmos in which life and mind, science and art, hope and fear, are but fluky incidental embellishments on a tapestry of irreversible cosmic corruption.  On the other hand, there is an alternative view, undeniably romantic but perhaps true nevertheless.  It is the vision of a self-organizing and self-complexifying universe, governed by ingenious laws that encourage matter to evolve towards life and consciousness.  A universe in which the emergence of thinking beings is a fundamental and integral part of the overall scheme of things.  A universe in which we are not alone."

1: Disturbing the Universe by Freeman Dyson, 1979, p.250

Take no Labour party prisoners!

I have admonished you frequently in recent months that come the election Labour must be destroyed - utterly.  If the rascals and reprobates succeed in hanging on to more than a 100 seats you will all be on a charge of dereliction of duty!  Yes, yes,  I know that the Tories and some LibDems had their snouts in the trough, too, but Labour were the ruling party and like the captain of any ship they must take the ultimate responsibility.  One might, after a goodly intake of 'Scottish water', just possibly have been inclined to entertain very slight feelings of forgiveness given one's own efforts to avoid paying those bastards in the Inland Revenue a penny more than one has to, but in their infantile, yah-boo-sucks approach to the election of a Speaker to the Commons they have forfeited any sympathy or inclination to mercy.  It is obvious that given the odium in which young Bercow is immersed as far as the Tory party is concerned it was mass Labour votes that greased him into the chair in the hope that he would be as big an embarrassment to the Tories as that Glaswegian thickoe was to them.  Thus, yet again, putting petty party point scoring before the serious concerns of the country makes them not just unfit for government but unfit to be parliamentarians.  Let us be rid of them, and let a new coalition of the Left arise.

As for young Bercow the signs are ominous but let us wait and see.  It will not be a long wait because his first real test will come when some 'new' government policy is leaked to the Sunday prints or announced on Radio 4.  If Bercow has balls (or Balls, because he is one of the biggest leakers) then he will insist on the minister concerned coming to the Commons and explaining himself.  Well, it might happen - but don't hold your breath!

Guest Post #1

Kat Sanders, the authoress of this post wrote to me out of the blue and asked if she could take a guest spot here at D&N.  It jogged me into action because I have been thinking for some time that the steady droning noise that emanates from D&N is the sound of my own voice and that perhaps an alternative should be heard from time to time.  I must confess that an essay on the somewhat abstruse subject of forensic science wasn't what I had in mind but one volunteer is worth ten pressed men and so here are Kat's thoughts on the subject:

 

Forensics –  ‘Reel life’ and real life!

There are times when fiction can seem like reality, and vice versa. For example, horrific crimes take on a bizarre and unreal feeling because of their brutality, and yet crimes seen on TV seem real because of the affinity we feel for the lead detectives who solve them using forensic technology. Murders committed in real life sometimes result from passion where anger or some equally deep emotion is the driving force to kill but at other times they are planned and executed with cold, hard determination. It is in calculated types of homicide that forensic science comes to the fore because it is in these circumstances that criminals are most intent on covering their tracks. Crimes of passion always leave behind tell-tale signs that are likely to lead to the murderer.   However, if the perpetrator(s) of the crime are more prone to run than to surrender then it is likely they will have taken the steps to wipe out traces of evidence. What they don’t realize is that with the advances being made in the field of forensics, it is usually only a matter of time before the cops catch up to the bad guys.

Today, it is easier to prove, or disprove, conclusively that a person has committed a crime because of DNA matching and other sophisticated forensic tools. These techniques make it possible to prevent innocent people suffering prison terms for crimes they did not commit.  Increasing numbers of people are now aware of what forensic science can do, mainly because of the popularity of television shows like CSI and Bones which show forensic experts solving cases that are baffling to the layman.  However, the problem with this awareness is that TV shows do not tell the whole story or show the whole picture. On the small screen, a murder is solved in an hour, and the perps are locked up for good. In real life, it takes weeks, months or even years for the bad guys to be conclusively proven to be the perpetrators. When people confuse ‘reel life’ and real life, they find the latter falling short, and without knowing why, they take out their frustrations on the cops and the forensic experts. It’s understandable that, in particular, the loved ones of the victim(s) are in a hurry to see justice done but it must explained to them that forensic science is not an ‘info-mercial’ that can be labeled “as seen on TV”.

In The Merchant of Venice William Shakespeare said this of murder – “Truth will come to light, murder cannot be hid long”.  The advent of forensic science has turned a prophecy into a fact because we now know that any crime will be solved; it’s only a question of ‘when’ rather than ‘if’.

This article is written by Kat Sanders, who regularly blogs on the topic of forensic science technician schools at her blog Forensic Scientist Blog. She welcomes your comments and questions at her email address: [email protected].

I find myself in agreement with Dr. 'Teabag'. Where did I go wrong?

I blame that Oliver Kamm!  You see, there has been a very minor kerfuffle in Blogdom because The Times decided to 'out' an hitherto anonymous blogger who was a serving police officer given to spilling stories highlighting the inefficiency and stupidity of our so-called justice system.  I confess that I had never heard of him until this story broke following his appeal to the Law Courts in an attempt to stop The Times from publishing his name.  No one will drop dead with shock when I tell you that the Judge agreed with The Times and 'PC Blogger' was duly 'outed', given a reprimand by his bosses and, I guess, made aware that his future prospects as a policeman were, shall we say, stunted!

A huge amount of smelly stuff was directed at The Times from Blogdom and in due course my e-pal Oliver Kamm felt moved to defend the actions the newspaper for which he helps write the leaders.  Now, I have 'known' and admired Oliver for as many years as I have been blogging and I am exceedingly chary of ever crossing swords with him because I know him to be both highly educated and a ferocious debater if crossed.  I need hardly add that merely being "highly educated" has never been a bar to coming to utterly daft conclusions but in Oliver's case it is necessary to have a very strong defensive position if you choose to take him on.  In this case it is necessary because Oliver's stance in defending The Times is disgraceful coming from, first of all, a newspaper man, and secondly, a man who prides himself as a liberal.

Even so, I, and a goodly number of others, have taken him on here, and here.  Amongst 'the Forlorn Hope' assaulting the Heights of Kamm was the gallant, cheeky, chirpy figure of Dr. 'Teabag'.  (Normally I would link to his disreputable site but following his recent marriage he has been reduced to one post every six months so it's hardly worth visiting these days.)  However, finding oneself on the same side of the ramparts as the good Doctor gives one pause for thought!  It made me think through again my instinctive dislike of the action taken by The Times.

I agree with Oliver's point that all civil servants should be governed by rules forbidding them to divulge government business but even so, I expect them to do it if they believe it is justified.  Of course, sometimes, in my opinion, they will not be justified but I would not wish the practice to end.  I heartily disapprove of the silly Lefties who occasionaly spill some scuttlebutt concerning GCHQ or MI5 and I would jail them if their actions led to a serious breach of our security but I always remind myself of the late Major Morton of MI6 who secretly provided Churchill with details of Germany's growing threat which he in turn used to embarrassing effect against the governments of the 1930s.  Would Oliver have defended The Times if they had 'outed' Maj. Morton?  The long, long list of whistle-blowers, some honourable, some dis-honourable and some downright venal, is too long to rehearse here.  Suffice to say that in a democracy there must always be a place for them.  Even more important in a democracy, the media must cherish and protect them even if they are providing information to other outlets.

The action of The Times was mean and spiteful and motivated, I guess, by the fact that 'PC Blogger' was not providing the information exclusively to The Times and Oliver has demeaned himself, in my view, by adding his weight to their clumping fist.

There is a further wrinkle to this story which arises from Oliver's re-action to Guido's suggestion that if anonymity is no longer thought worth preserving at The Times then perhaps they should start signing their leaders so that we may judge the worth of their pronouncements.  I will return to this later.

A not very dirty weekend in Brighton!

Off to the Brighton area for the weekend, back on Sunday. 

Did Blair black-up and get himself elected president of the USA?

I ask the question because I have been reading bits and pieces here and there concerning the Obama regime (I use that word advisedly) sacking a government inspector responsible for ensuring that Federal funds are spent correctly on the grounds that he was "disorientated" and "demented" in the discharge of his duties.  You see, this man had had the temerity to question the leader of an organisation in receipt of considerable Federal funds - who happens to be a black supporter of, and contributor to, . . . yes, you guessed it . . . President Obama.  The estimable Glenn Beck invited this allegedly 'senile' old man into his studio and gave him the official government test for checking people with mental incapacities.  You can watch it here, it's great television.  Needless to say, the gentleman concerned comes across as a shrewd old coot with absolutely all of his marbles.

All of this rang bells in my memory banks.  My guess is that whilst 'Saint' Obama stands cleanly above the fray, the dirty work was hatched by Rahm Emmanuel, his consigliori, and instantly I thought of that'dastardly duo', Blair and Campbell, and the way in which they eviscerated their opponents with lies and innuendoes, the one wielding the scalpel and the other brushing the blood splashes off his suit as though it had nothing to do with him.

I have said it before and I don't care if it sends you up the wall screaming "No, not again!" but it is always the little things that give them away.  All my doubts, all my efforts to hold back from a definitive judgment of Obama, have been swept away.  The man is a political reptile and unfit to uphold the constitution of the United States.  That, of course, does not disqualify him from running an excellent foreign policy - I have my doubts but only time will tell on that - but if I was a freedom-cherishing citizen of the USA today I would be afraid, very afraid!

My thanks to: http://www.ihatethemedia.com/was-gerald-walpin-disoriented

ADDITIONAL:  Just in case you think I exagerate the importance of Obama's venality read this and you will see that what his regime has in mind is to direct $6bn - I'll repeat that - $6bn of federal funds in order to turn

AmeriCorps into a supersized, taxpayer-funded ACORN-like organization, focused on the Obama Administration's policy agenda, including health care reform, targeted stimulus spending, and possible work on the upcoming U.S. census in 2010. [My emphasis]

Remember that one of the first things Rahm Emmanuel did when he slithered into the White House was to highjack the census operation from some obscure depatment of government and reposition it under his command and control.  Once there he will ensure that the US census is no longer taken on a strict head count but on 'estimates'.  Guess where the increase in numbers will arise under this system - yes, of course, Democrat states, cities and boroughs!

Even the Blair/Campbell gang would never have dared to pull a stroke like that.

For Christ's sake, I'm only asking for a fiver!

The little girl in the picture is called Sah.  She is two years old and has just seen her mother, Bendu, for the first time in her life, in fact, she has just seen anything and everything for the first time in her life because she was born blind - and deaf.  It was lucky for her that Bendu heard that the Mercy Ship was calling into their country's main port and despite the fears of friends and family she picked up little Sah and carried her miles into the big city to seek help.  The ship is staffed entirely by unpaid volunteers - surgeons, doctors, nurses, cooks, engineers, whatever - all unpaid. In a few days two cataract operations were carried out and Sah can at least see. 

Now I tend to become slightly irritated when people dun me for charity donations.  I am not a rich man and I have to ration my giving.  However, I am still going to ask you to give a bit because, quite apart from the very obvious benefits it bestows on the truly wretched, Mercy Ships has to be one of the most cost effective charities in the world given that almost everyone is an unpaid volunteer - many of them even pay their own air fares to reach the ship!

So, my offer is this.  Click here and make a donation of £5 - more if you can but I'm just asking you to give a minimum of £5 - and I will match the first five of my readers to pledge £5 with £25 of my own.  Come on, it's only a fiver - the price of a couple of pints and it will take less time to fill in the donation form than it takes to catch the eye of your local barman!  Then just comment below and tell me you have pledged a fiver.  Remember, the honour of Duff & Nonsense is at stake!

Oh, and think of all the other little Sahs who are waiting for their chances!

 

On the one hand . . . but on the other . . .

I am reminded, and by an American, too, that yesterday was the anniversary of King John signing Magna Carta, perhaps the greatest example of the dreaded 'Law of Unintended Consequences' the world has ever seen.  It co-incides with events in Iran where instead of robber barons armed with swords we have a militant middle-class armed with 'Blackberrys'!  The essence of the events, however, is very similar, a particular group rising up in order to insist on what it calls its 'rights'.  At this stage no-one can tell how the Iranian imbroglio will end; in the short term, the scimitar being mightier than the key-board, the mullahs will probably have their way, but somehow one senses that the ground has shifted beneath their feet.  Of course, if 'New Iran' eventually wins over 'Old Iran' then the perpetrators of the revolution, or their successors, will suffer under the same dread Law that later caught out the landed aristocracy in Britain.

My perception of the Iranian version of Islam is that it is hateful and loathsome, somewhat akin to the Spanish version of Catholicism in the 16th century.  However, it is not the only version of Islam on offer.  One thinks of the Muslim rule over Spain in which infidels and Jews were easily tolerated.  I am reminded of the Arab guide who took us on a bus tour of Tangiers pointing out the Christian quarter, the Jewish quarter and the Arab old town.  An American lady piped up to ask how come they hadn't slaughtered each other?  "Ah", said the guide, "We're all too busy making money to bother with that sort of thing!"  Even so, there is much of Islam with which I would disagree but I am a conservative (with a small 'c') and part of me mourns its eventual loss to the forces of (so-called) progress and the scientific rationalism of the West.  I am forced to ask myself if life under the mullahs in Tehran and the enforced adherence to strict Muslim discipline is necessarily worse than life in a British or American city under the brutal indifference of liberal licence?

ADDITIONAL: This is a 'must read' for anyone seeking the subtleties behind Iran's strategic  situation which is a good deal shakier than appears on the surface.  (Thanks again to Alan Sullivan, much more of this and I'll have to start paying him!)

And don't miss 'Spengler's' two links.  The first: Sex, drugs and Islam:

http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Middle_East/KB24Ak02.html

The second: A book review entitled: Predicting the death of Islam:

http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Middle_East/KE05Ak02.html

Pres. Obama: "Git that fat lardy arse, Gore, on the'phone - NOW!"

I am obliged to my e-pal and regular visitor here, 'JK' , for spotting this bit of weather news from the green black president's own home town, Chicago:

The cloudy, chilly and rainy open to June here has been the talk of the town. So far this June is running more than 12 degrees cooler than last year, and the clouds, rain and chilly lake winds have been persistent. The average temperature at O'Hare International Airport through Friday has been only 59.5 degrees: nearly 7 degrees below normal and the coldest since records there began 50 years ago.

More bad weather is on the way Saturday with a cold rain expected to linger through the bulk of the morning. Rainfall could be heavy -- especially north of the city, which would be a reversal of Thursday's deluge that targeted the southern suburbs. [My emphasis]

And, yes, I know that weather isn't climate but lots and lots and lots of weather is!  And so far this year, almost everywhere, most of it has been on the cold side.  Still, I'm sure our American cousins will not mind paying all those extra global warming taxes to, er, keep things even colder!

Chill out, Baby, and stay cool!

Additional - 5 minutes later:  The indispensable Allan Sullivan links to this article in the Telegraph whose headline says it all:

Crops under stress as temperatures fall

It goes on:

After a fearsomely cold winter, June brought heavy snowfall across large parts of western Canada and the northern states of the American Midwest. In Manitoba last week, it was -4ºC. North Dakota had its first June snow for 60 years.

There was midsummer snow not just in Norway and the Cairngorms, but even in Saudi Arabia. At least in the southern hemisphere it is winter, but snowfalls in New Zealand and Australia have been abnormal. There have been frosts in Brazil, elsewhere in South America they have had prolonged droughts, while in China they have had to cope with abnormal rain and freak hailstorms, which in one province killed 20 people.

In the meantime our 'glorious leaders' continue to insist that zillions of acres of former wheat fields are turned to the production of biofuels to stop the world from, er, warming!

Dearieme, he was right!

I have been in a short term, well, very short term, actually, because he has now banned me from his site, 'conversation' with a young man I call 'The Yorkshire Canter'.  In the course of this exchange he accused Anthony Watts (and Steve McIntyre) of being scientific liars.  Thus, there was an extra dollop of irony in two recent posts over at WUWT in which the, er, fascinating topic of freezing CO2 in Antarctica was discussed.  All of it quite beyond me, I confess, but one of Watts's guest writers assumed that CO2 could be frozen out of the air if the temperature dropped low enough.  At that point, sledging in from the north with his huskies galloping at top speed came the elegant figure of our very own 'Dearieme' who comments so regularly here at D&N - I like to think of him as my 'stringer'!  Anyway, he shot the whole thing down in his usual concise style and Anthony Watts has had to re-post on the subject saying:

We all learned something, we had a little fun, some online yelling occurred, and some egos were bruised. Overall though it was worthwhile that this myth of “CO2 snow at Vostok station” was finally put to rest.

HAFs like the 'Yorkshire Canter' (I think I spelled that correctly) would leap on that as proof that the WUWT site is ignorant and deceitful and would thus miss the point that in this tiny example from just one specialised area of science, a theory was offered with full working details and then, after criticism, withdrawn as being incorrect.  In other words, the scientific method honourably at work.  Try getting some of that from a HAF site like 'Real Climate'!  And absolutely no chance with the 'Yorkshire Canter' who shrivels at the mere sight of an opposing argument and can only shriek in fear, "You're banned!"

Anyway, well done, 'Dearieme'!

Whither Britain?

There, that's a nice classical title intimating the start of a long, intellectually stimulating and beautifully written essay in the Edwardian style.  Sorreee!  No can do, but I am provoked by a new visitor here, Brian, into disgorging some of my muddled ideas concerning the future path of our nation.  These incoherent thoughts have been ambling about my brain for the last couple of years as Brown persists in repeatedly pulling the chain on his own premiership - and on my country.

First of all, let me repeat some brutal remarks I was forced to offer on the site of my old and ineffably socialist e-pal, 'Fallenmonk': 

YOU (meaning the USA) ARE BROKE! SKINT! YOU HAVEN'T GOT A POT TO PISS IN! YOU OWE THE CHINKS A FORTUNE AND THE VIG IS DUE! YOU SHOULD BE PAYING BACK DEBT, NOT SPENDING LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR.

One of his dimmer commenters assumed that I was 'e-shouting' because I had written it in capitals but in fact I was only following the habits of those nursing home staff who speak to their elderly patients slowly and carefully on the grounds that they are all idiots - and in this case my interlocutor was, and still is, brain dead!

What was unnecessary to spell out in that exchange was that with local variations the same strictures applied to us, but with added doses of bile because unlike the Americans we are on an infinitely weaker, not to say, tottering, base than they are.  But we are broke.  That dreaded IoFS book to which I have referred so many times (courtesy of Fraser Nelson at The Coffee House) makes it crystal clear, no 'ifs', no 'buts', that our only way out of the mountain range of debt we have piled up is to cut government spending by 7% over the 3 years beginning 2011.  But there is an even more hideous problem hidden in the rubble of the Brown bunker, the debt that 'dare not speak its name' - public sector pensions.  Grasp a very stiff drink to your chest before I tell you that the liability now stands "at £1.1 trillion (or 78% of GDP), [and] it is now bigger than the national debt (which stands at £750 billion).

The reason for this is threefold, read it and weep:

First, when the government receives contributions from public sector workers for their pension schemes, it spends the money on schools, hospitals and suchlike. Second, even though it does this, the Government still needs to borrow money to pay for all the promises it has made. But when it borrows this money and comes to pay the interest on it, it rolls the interest payments into the total liability. The £45.2 billion annual cost of this borrowing, which is equivalent to having 1.3 million people employed on a teacher's salary or a doubling of the defence budget, is thus a debt-on-debt payment. Third, the Treasury pays far more money in to the pensions of its employees than even they know about.

I am obliged to Lawrence Kay of the Policy Exchange Economics Unit who wrote a brief synopsis for The Coffee House, and whose full report can be read here.

So, given that we are not just broke, but infinitely more broke than we thought we were, what, in the words of the late, great Spike Milligan, are we going to do next?  Well, first we just must slash government spending and pay back debt.  The IoFS tells us that a 7% cut across the whole of government over 3 years is required, or, if the NHS is excepted then a cut of 10% over all other budgets is inescapable.  Now, an across the board cut in all budgets is possible but surely to govern is to choose and whatever party takes over must take those hard decisions.

My interrogator, Brian, wants to know which budgets I would crop and I would reply to him by saying that government must return to its fundamental duties first, that is, protecting the currency, protecting the nation and protecting the people via the law.  Repaying debt will hold our currency stable.  At this moment in our economic woes I do not think that we can afford to remain in Afghanistan.  The unpleasant fact is that it is costing us a fortune but even worse our American allies believe our contribution is so pitiful, because our army lacks the equipment and numbers, they have marked us down as allies of little worth.  So let's get out, but at the same time, let's start spending serious money on our strategic forces.  No government in my memory has ever managed to tame the Ministry of Defence whose history of researching and bringing modern weapon systems to useful fruition on time and in budget is pathetic.  Our only likely ally in the forseeable future is America so we should just scrap all those Defence Agencies and buy off the shelf from the Yanks., that way at least our forces will be able to co-operate much easier.  We should spend on building the two new carriers (or buying some second-hand American ones) so that we have the capability of projecting our power.  But much more important, in an era in which every swarthy, moustachio-ed  crackpot, or oriental chancer, is busy arming themselves with nukes, we must rebuild and modernise our nuclear weapons and delivery systems - which means a new fleet of submarines.  Incidentally, whilst on the subject of nuclear, we should instantly begin building civilian re-actors to get us off our reliance on foreign oil and gas.

 

Europe is a net financial burden to us and we should leave, as politely as possible, but leave. They will do what they always do - nothing.  They will dislike us for it but it is a fact rarely commented upon that by and large they hate us anyway - and not just the politicians but the ordinary people.  Our relations with them will not alter an inch either way whether we are in or out.  Their wretched regulations harm us, so we should leave. 

As to the defence of the people, it is, dread phrase, 'a return to basics'.  I am no expert but my guess is that there is no shortage of policemen but excess of middle and high ranking officers!  There is also a chronic shortage of prisons and more need to be built.  There should be just one type of prison for all in the sense of doing away with all those rest homes for white-collar criminals called open prisons.  The Human Rights Act should be swept away and the system and bureaucracy of justice simplified even at the expense of civil rights!  Chief Constables and the heads of the regional Crown Prosecution Services should be elected.

As for the rest, the government should begin immediately telling people that more and more of their health care will have to be paid for so that more and more of the NHS can be privatised - starting with the GP network!  Social Security budgets should be severely pruned and, for example, the practice of rewarding girls for having babies out of wedlock by providing them with housing should be stopped instantly.  Indeed, the whole notion of 'social housing' should be stopped.  School vouchers should be issued and all schools privatised with no national agreements on teachers' pay.  At least 75% of all government and regional quangos should be closed down.  And so on and on ...

As soon as possible, debt repayments allowing, the government should begin cutting taxes to businesses and individuals.  One government minister should be placed in charge of cutting regulations and should be fired if he fails to slash many of them in the first year by ministerial decree.   Our aim should be to become the Hong Kong of Europe.  Just set free our entrepreneurs and you will see a Britain rejuvenated in much the same way as we saw under the leadership of 'that woman'.  Then with our currency strong again, with our armed forces small but exceedingly powerful and a self-disciplined society that realises there are no more free handouts and that everything must be worked for, we may just return to something resembling our past.

"Food, glorious food"

I'm not much of a cook.  When it comes to cuisine and all that stuff I like to think of myself as a consumer not a producer.  I do an excellent English breakfast and I'm an imaginative canape designer but truly proper cooking I leave to the little 'Memsahib'.

However, on this subject, there is one blog I have linked to run by a chap called Philip Dundas who lives in Edinburgh and is a proper 'foodie' to his finger tips.  I like his style because he concentrates on sourcing excellent ingredients.  Anyway, he has opened a new blog called:

www.pipsdish.co.uk

He needs as many people as possible to register - just your name and e-mail is all he needs - in order to convince an agent that he has a ready public for a book he is writing.  If you register (as I say, just your name and e-mail) he tells me that "In return, I will offer to send a menu suggestion and cooking advice to any new subscriber who emails me with a list of ingredients."

He's a good bloke, an excellent cook and I urge you all to give him some support.

 

 

Lies, damned lies and Gordon Brown's statistics

Alas, not very much time at the moment because I am off to delight, enthuse and entertain an audience with one of my Shakespeare talks - such lucky people!  However, if you saw question time in the Commons and heard Brown lying through his teeth but were not exactly sure in what respect, please pop over to  The Coffee House where young Fraser Nelson will spell it out for you in a short, crystal-clear essay including a copy of the crucial table from the actual Budget book - the 'smoking gun', as it were.

Incidentally, I suspect that Lansley's efforts this morning in which he blithely committed Cameron to maintaining health spending and school spending did his boss no favours.  As I indicated a couple of posts back, the Tory approach to these cuts which any government will have to carry out in 2 years time needs to be carefully planned and executed.  Lansley opening his big mouth on the Today programme was, I suspect, much more concerned with defending his forthcoming (he hopes) Health Department's budget if, and when, the Tories gain power.  I'd sack him!

Abortionist aborted!

I have always tried to steer clear of the subject of abortion on this blog because it tends to be one of those topics which create more heat than light.  However, I have been vaguely intrigued by the murder of that American doctor(?) last week who specialised - such a nice, clean, hygenic word - in late abortions.  I am no expert but I think this sometimes entails doing a 'Trotsky head job' with a sharp implement into the baby's skull and then pulling him or her out a bit at a time - or something like that.  In this particular case of the 'offer' being 'offed' I admit that the excitement of watching that Jock abortion who leads the 'People's Party' kept me from investigating further.  However, tonight, for a bit of light entertainment, I tuned in, so to speak, to one of the loves of my life, the delicious, the delectable, the overpowering, Ann Coulter - why do I keep falling for these dominant women? - don't answer that!  Anyway, she has shone a torch onto the murky history of the late Dr. Crippen Tiller whose death by shooting has caused so much wailing, breast-beating and gnashing of Democratic and feminist teeth.

Turns out the not-so-good Doctor

Tiller bragged about performing 60,000 abortions, including abortions of viable babies, able to survive outside the mother's womb. He made millions of dollars performing late-term abortions so gruesome that only two other abortionists -- not a squeamish bunch -- in the entire country would perform them.

Apparently,

Kansas law allows late-term abortions only to save the mother's life or to prevent "irreversible physical damage" to the mother. But Tiller was more than happy to kill viable babies, provided the mothers: (1) forked over $5,000; and (2) mentioned "substantial and irreversible conditions," which, in Tiller's view, apparently included not being able to go to concerts or rodeos or being "temporarily depressed" on account of their pregnancies.

Needless to say kiddie-killer Tilly made sure to keep his home state Democratic party well-funded which in turn, out of pure gratitude, ensured that he had State Police protection.

Kansas Democrats who received hundreds of thousands of campaign dollars from Tiller repeatedly intervened to block any interference with Tiller's abortion mill.

Kathleen Sebelius, who was the governor of Kansas until Obama made her Health and Human Services Secretary, received hundreds of thousands of campaign dollars from Tiller. Sebelius vetoed one bill restricting late-term abortions and another one that would have required Tiller to turn over his records pertaining to "substantial and irreversible conditions" justifying his late-term abortions. [My emphasis]

The plot sickens, sorry, thickens:

Kansas Attorney General Paul Morrison also got elected with the help of Tiller's blood money, replacing a Republican attorney general who was in the middle of an investigation of Tiller for various crimes including his failure to report statutory rapes, despite performing abortions on pregnant girls as young as 11.

But soon after Morrison replaced the Republican attorney general, the charges against Tiller were reduced and, in short order, he was acquitted of a few misdemeanors. In what is a not uncommon cost of doing business with Democrats, Morrison is now gone, having been forced to resign when his mistress charged him with sexual harassment and corruption.

Now, as you all know, I am not a hard man; quite the contrary, really, I'm too soft and easy going, but do you know, somehow, seek as hard as I can, I cannot find it in my heart to give a single rat's arse for this man's death.

I remain indebted to Ms. Ann Coulter, a polemicist of the first order.

So, what next?

Did the earth really move for you last week?  No, me neither!  Last week was merely the first tremor, the first flicker of the needles measuring the Richter scale, the real 'plate shifter' is yet to come.  Alas for poor 'Dave' it will hit Britain at the very beginning of his new 'reign' and it will take the form of those two dread four-letter words - Tory cuts!  Brown, in the bunker and sunk in his desperate megalomania, is determined to leave Britain looking like an economic version of Berlin in 1945.  There will be only one course open to his successor, whoever he is, and that is to cut, and cut, and cut again.  And yes, I know I've said all this before but it is time Cameron and the Tories told it the way it is and then keep repeating it - loudly.  The Institute for Fiscal Studies have found the finger prints and the blood stains and the DNA match in the Budget books and it is essential that the Tories keep pointing and jabbing their accusatory fingers at Brown with an accompanying chorus of "Brown's cuts, not Tory cuts".  If Cameron smooths and slithers his way into power by deceitfully refusing to frighten the horses and the voters, and is then forced by cold, hard reality into a ferocious slashing of budgets across the whole of government, then I will expect to see a real eruption of so-called 'people power' that might have drastic results far in excess of any seen in the last few days.

It is stating 'the bleedin' obvious' to say that a very large minority of people in Britain are fearful in a way they haven't been for generations.  They are frightened for their prosperity and with it their futures, they are frightened of the influx of alien, and to them, hostile immigrants who have swamped their old city centres, they are scared of the feral underclass who roam unchecked, and most of all they are scared because they see no sign of any authority willing or able to do anything about it. With fear comes anger.  And with anger comes ... well, who knows?

It is absolutely crucial that that our next prime minister drops all the propaganda bullshit that has grown like ivy all over No. 10.  Forget 'narratives' and playing the media.  Drop presentation trickery.  No more pre-leaking of policy decisions.  We need honesty and straight-talking and above all the courage that is required to deliver it.

Or else . . .

Eden in the Garden of England: Lullingstone Castle

The little 'Memsahib' is a member of The National [Socialist] Trust - my insertion!  To my infinite regret she has succeeded in bullying me into joining that disgusting organisation.  I despise it as the fat, greasy, well-oiled depository of previous socialist thieving in which beautiful country houses and estates were forced into bankruptcy by iniquitous death duties and the centuries-old families forced to sell up to the State.  Consequently most of them are now echoing mausoleums to past glories and if viewing the dead and the dying gives you pleasure then I suppose trailing round those sad old houses is what you do.  Usually I just sit in the gardens with my sketch book and remind myself what a crap artist I would have been if I had been silly enough to try it.

However, from time to time that awfully nice gel, 'Lady Serendipidy', suddenly pops up and one is provided with an introduction to a truly historic house that has (just about!) escaped the grubby clutches of sundry Chancellors of the Exchequer and which has remained in the hands of the same family since 1365 - let me repeat that - since 1365!  I refer to Lullingstone Castle owned by the Hart Dyke family.  The current son, Tom, was kidnapped in some stinking South American jungle whilst undertaking a plant-hunting expedition and held for nine months.  On his safe return he set about 'building' a "World Garden" in the magnificent grounds of the Castle.  Every area of the globe is covered and the place is stuffed full of wild and wonderful plants of every description.  If the world is due for another flood, a latter-day Noah will need to ensure that Tom Hart Dyke's garden goes on board along with the animals!  It is a magnificent enterprise and may, just, help keep the estate in the family's hands judging by the number of visitors it receives.

The 'Castle' is not a castle, that was knocked down in the 15th century and a Tudor house of handsome proportions was built in its place.  The result is a house that is more of a family home than an ossified relic of the past.  In the grounds there is a delightful church with some incredibly ancient stained glass.  Happily this 'was one of the ruins that Cromwell failed to knock about a bit'!  The guide who showed us round the house, a chirpy lady from a nearby village, wins my prize for the best guide I have come across in ages, informative, witty and knew her stuff.

Lullingstone Castle is 10 minutes from Junction 3 off the M25, situated in a very beautiful part of Kent.  Do yourselves a favour this Summer, pay it a visit - that's an order!

Thank the 'Intelligent Designer' that we live in a democracy!

I still haven't quite got over that awful, embarrassing press-conference given by our very own 'Dear Leader'.  I never become embarrassed by anything I do or say (what do you mean, you noticed!) but the sweat literally trickles down my back when I see someone else making an exhibition of themselves.  Whilst I began at first to smile at 'ur wee Gordie's' efforts, after a while I began to wriggle in embarrassment at his squalid, deceitful performance - but then I began to sweat in fear rather than anything else.  It is quite obvious, even to an untrained, untutored non-psychologist like me that Gordon Brown is mad!  If I had a pound for his every use of the first person singular I could dine at the Ritz.  The lies spewed forth unendingly and the more,and more,and more,that he insisted on his honesty and probity the more I knew he was lying.  Remember, "Hey, most people think I'm a pretty straight sort of a guy", the point at which I knew Blair was a liar?  Well, it had nothing on Brown's constant, psychotic iteration of his own absolute rectitude in all matters.  He was the very embodiment of the subject of that old City adage to the effect that when a man tells you his word is as good as his bond - take his bond!

Most of his lies were generalised and thus difficult to pin down but right at the end young Fraser Nelson took a pot shot (he's a very, very naughty boy!) by asking the 'Dear Leader' about the cuts due to take effect after the next election and which are in the government's own budget book as discovered by the Institute for Fiscal Studies after a forensic examination.  Brown simply lied - straight out, no pretence - he just lied, and kept repeating that government spending would go on increasing!  (I sort of hope the Bond markets picked that one up although if they do it will mean mega-trouble for us all.)

As well as sweating, I also began to tremble as I imagined what life would be like if this psycho was allowed to rule over us for ever!  The thought is truly and literally frightful.  Perhaps next week his own Party will see him off but I doubt it.  Most of them know the electoral tumbrels await them and I guess most of them will keep on taking the money for as long as they can and spend the next few months looking for a job.  But at least we can all rest easy in the knowledge that soon he will be gone - er, we can, can't we?

Is it something to do with their periods?

Like most men I am simultaneously charmed and bewildered by women.  At my ripe old age I have given up any efforts to understand them and I find myself repeating the song from My Fair Lady sung by the late Rex Harrison, "Why can't a woman be more like a man?"  But they're not of course, and never will be, and thus they remain a mystery.  However, in this age of feminisation in which more and more of them are occupying jobs with high repsonsibility one or two things are becoming clear.  For example, by and large, they're useless!

The ladies who read this blog may cry foul when I choose Labour party women as an example, but then, if it's fairness you want this is the wrong place to look for it.  I will, however, grant that even being in the Labour party is indicative of low intelligence, but even so, the females of the 'workers' party' are spectacularly dim.  Today, watching and listening to the antics of Caroline Flint MP I felt, just for a nano-second, a slight twinge of sympathy for 'ur wee Gordie'.  Last night she rushed to the cameras to express her undying love and respect for her own 'dear leader', and 12 hours later she rats him out!  One can only wonder if it's just the wrong time of the month for her?  If it isn't, then Ms. Flint is either brain dead or a flakey nut-case.

I'm sure I am not required to rehearse for you the under-whelming political careers of, say, Jaqui Smith and Hazel Blears, to say nothing of the empty-headed, slogan-programmed 'Harry Harperson'.  Even a moment's contemplation of these three "weird sisters, hand in hand" and the ghastly fact that they actually achieved access to the Cabinet of our national government is enough to make strong men blanche and for a nagging suspicion to enter one's mind that perhaps there is a partial answer to the question of how it is that almost everything in this country is rubbish.

This inexorable rise and rise of the third-rate is entirely due to the 'girly-men' who run our affairs today surrendering to the harridans of the feminist movement and making it easier for women to enter politics.  We had a truly great female prime minister in 'Maggie' Thatcher but she made it in a masculine world with no quarter asked or given.  These Jilly-come-latelies for whom every door has been opened by lickspittle men are simply not up to the job.  It is barely worth writing but I suppose I had better make clear that I don't suppose the Tory 'wimmin' are any better.

Additional: I have been reflecting on my 'grumpy old man' harrumph, above.  To be absolutely fair I think it is worth stating that politics is an area of human activity that positively attracts the third-, and even fourth-, rate irrespective of sex.  These days, with occasional exceptions, the body-politic is made up of mouthy greasers and psychopaths who are absolutely beyond the pale to the rest of us, I mean, how many of them would you like to have for dinner?  Quite! Many of them have had minimal contact with the real world and have never had a proper job.  See this Wiki synopsis for James Purnell:

"While still a student he worked in the summer holidays as a researcher to Tony Blair from 1989 to 1992. After graduating he worked as a Research Fellow at the Institute for Public Policy Research before moving to the BBC to become Head of Corporate Planning. In 1997 Purnell returned to work as a special advisor at Number 10 until 2001."

Lest anyone forgets, this is the man who was party to a reverse-Stalinist dodge by having his photo inserted into a picture to indicate that he had attended a function at some hospital when in fact, or according to Wiki, he had possibly been out buying 3,000 fridge magnets for £247 which is exactly £3 under the limit required by the Fees Office for him to produce a receipt.  The man's a spiv!

These are the sort of 'girly-men' who have leaned over backwards to give women an easy entry into Parliament and thus opened the sluice gates for an influx of fifth-rate rubbish!