Whither Britain?

There, that's a nice classical title intimating the start of a long, intellectually stimulating and beautifully written essay in the Edwardian style.  Sorreee!  No can do, but I am provoked by a new visitor here, Brian, into disgorging some of my muddled ideas concerning the future path of our nation.  These incoherent thoughts have been ambling about my brain for the last couple of years as Brown persists in repeatedly pulling the chain on his own premiership - and on my country.

First of all, let me repeat some brutal remarks I was forced to offer on the site of my old and ineffably socialist e-pal, 'Fallenmonk': 

YOU (meaning the USA) ARE BROKE! SKINT! YOU HAVEN'T GOT A POT TO PISS IN! YOU OWE THE CHINKS A FORTUNE AND THE VIG IS DUE! YOU SHOULD BE PAYING BACK DEBT, NOT SPENDING LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR.

One of his dimmer commenters assumed that I was 'e-shouting' because I had written it in capitals but in fact I was only following the habits of those nursing home staff who speak to their elderly patients slowly and carefully on the grounds that they are all idiots - and in this case my interlocutor was, and still is, brain dead!

What was unnecessary to spell out in that exchange was that with local variations the same strictures applied to us, but with added doses of bile because unlike the Americans we are on an infinitely weaker, not to say, tottering, base than they are.  But we are broke.  That dreaded IoFS book to which I have referred so many times (courtesy of Fraser Nelson at The Coffee House) makes it crystal clear, no 'ifs', no 'buts', that our only way out of the mountain range of debt we have piled up is to cut government spending by 7% over the 3 years beginning 2011.  But there is an even more hideous problem hidden in the rubble of the Brown bunker, the debt that 'dare not speak its name' - public sector pensions.  Grasp a very stiff drink to your chest before I tell you that the liability now stands "at £1.1 trillion (or 78% of GDP), [and] it is now bigger than the national debt (which stands at £750 billion).

The reason for this is threefold, read it and weep:

First, when the government receives contributions from public sector workers for their pension schemes, it spends the money on schools, hospitals and suchlike. Second, even though it does this, the Government still needs to borrow money to pay for all the promises it has made. But when it borrows this money and comes to pay the interest on it, it rolls the interest payments into the total liability. The £45.2 billion annual cost of this borrowing, which is equivalent to having 1.3 million people employed on a teacher's salary or a doubling of the defence budget, is thus a debt-on-debt payment. Third, the Treasury pays far more money in to the pensions of its employees than even they know about.

I am obliged to Lawrence Kay of the Policy Exchange Economics Unit who wrote a brief synopsis for The Coffee House, and whose full report can be read here.

So, given that we are not just broke, but infinitely more broke than we thought we were, what, in the words of the late, great Spike Milligan, are we going to do next?  Well, first we just must slash government spending and pay back debt.  The IoFS tells us that a 7% cut across the whole of government over 3 years is required, or, if the NHS is excepted then a cut of 10% over all other budgets is inescapable.  Now, an across the board cut in all budgets is possible but surely to govern is to choose and whatever party takes over must take those hard decisions.

My interrogator, Brian, wants to know which budgets I would crop and I would reply to him by saying that government must return to its fundamental duties first, that is, protecting the currency, protecting the nation and protecting the people via the law.  Repaying debt will hold our currency stable.  At this moment in our economic woes I do not think that we can afford to remain in Afghanistan.  The unpleasant fact is that it is costing us a fortune but even worse our American allies believe our contribution is so pitiful, because our army lacks the equipment and numbers, they have marked us down as allies of little worth.  So let's get out, but at the same time, let's start spending serious money on our strategic forces.  No government in my memory has ever managed to tame the Ministry of Defence whose history of researching and bringing modern weapon systems to useful fruition on time and in budget is pathetic.  Our only likely ally in the forseeable future is America so we should just scrap all those Defence Agencies and buy off the shelf from the Yanks., that way at least our forces will be able to co-operate much easier.  We should spend on building the two new carriers (or buying some second-hand American ones) so that we have the capability of projecting our power.  But much more important, in an era in which every swarthy, moustachio-ed  crackpot, or oriental chancer, is busy arming themselves with nukes, we must rebuild and modernise our nuclear weapons and delivery systems - which means a new fleet of submarines.  Incidentally, whilst on the subject of nuclear, we should instantly begin building civilian re-actors to get us off our reliance on foreign oil and gas.

 

Europe is a net financial burden to us and we should leave, as politely as possible, but leave. They will do what they always do - nothing.  They will dislike us for it but it is a fact rarely commented upon that by and large they hate us anyway - and not just the politicians but the ordinary people.  Our relations with them will not alter an inch either way whether we are in or out.  Their wretched regulations harm us, so we should leave. 

As to the defence of the people, it is, dread phrase, 'a return to basics'.  I am no expert but my guess is that there is no shortage of policemen but excess of middle and high ranking officers!  There is also a chronic shortage of prisons and more need to be built.  There should be just one type of prison for all in the sense of doing away with all those rest homes for white-collar criminals called open prisons.  The Human Rights Act should be swept away and the system and bureaucracy of justice simplified even at the expense of civil rights!  Chief Constables and the heads of the regional Crown Prosecution Services should be elected.

As for the rest, the government should begin immediately telling people that more and more of their health care will have to be paid for so that more and more of the NHS can be privatised - starting with the GP network!  Social Security budgets should be severely pruned and, for example, the practice of rewarding girls for having babies out of wedlock by providing them with housing should be stopped instantly.  Indeed, the whole notion of 'social housing' should be stopped.  School vouchers should be issued and all schools privatised with no national agreements on teachers' pay.  At least 75% of all government and regional quangos should be closed down.  And so on and on ...

As soon as possible, debt repayments allowing, the government should begin cutting taxes to businesses and individuals.  One government minister should be placed in charge of cutting regulations and should be fired if he fails to slash many of them in the first year by ministerial decree.   Our aim should be to become the Hong Kong of Europe.  Just set free our entrepreneurs and you will see a Britain rejuvenated in much the same way as we saw under the leadership of 'that woman'.  Then with our currency strong again, with our armed forces small but exceedingly powerful and a self-disciplined society that realises there are no more free handouts and that everything must be worked for, we may just return to something resembling our past.

Comments

[dearieme]

I'd be interested to know how the arithmetic stacks up on my own solution to the public pension problem. (1) Your current pension deal holds while you are on your current contract (I'm assuming that the pension rights are contractual). On accepting a promotion, or similar change of contract, you automatically cease to be an active member of the pension scheme, becoming a deferred member. Naturally, new employees don't get to join the scheme.
Since practically everyone under 45 (or 50?) will decide to accept any promotion offered, even at the cost of restricted pension rights, huge savings would accrue in short order. There you are. Next!

[David Duff]

I hereby appoint you my Chancellor of the Exchequer, Darling, er, I mean Dearieme, I mean ... oh hell you know what I mean!

[dearieme]

The PM doesn't get to appoint the Chancellor any more.

[David Duff]

Ah! I'd forgotten that. Well, you can be much more important and powerful, you can be my SpAd!

[Davina]

I am stunned by the utter insanity of your proposals

[David Duff]

Davina, welcome to D&N, in fact, double welcome. Most visitors are bored rigid by my proposals but at least I succeeded in 'stunning' you!

Feel free to spell out exactly where-in lies the insanity.