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Monday, 05 October 2009


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David, I don't actually know who invented scissors but I do remember hearing about some Greek guy who described the seven or so simple machines. I don't recall whether inclined planes and hinges were discussed. I may've been drunk during that 4th grade class.

But your question led me to Google and you can tell the Memsahib now that "Ol' JK" has finally come up with the answer to your most nagging question for that poor woman. And no, don't ask me how I arrive on these sites.

Dammit, Sir, who-ever informed you that my poop is green is a scoundrel. It's red, white and blue - all the way through!

And, honestly, 'JK', I think we're going to have to put a parental monitor on your computer!

I will admit, occasionally my computer has been employed for therapy.

That aside - further Googling reveals that neither red nor white poop is especially problematic. However the blue might very well be. Especially if its ejected in 13 stripes and 50 stars.

Further reading reveals a "Union Jack" pattern is not that unusual, "Wee Gordy's" complaint apparently. However again, should you be farting stars, I'd suggest you have your cuticle clippers sharpened.

Pardon again Your Majesty, (I realize you're a regular reader) but we've got a healthcare foofaraw afoot here and David's hangnail you realize...

I am gaining the distinct impression, 'JK', that you are not taking my PTHNS (Post Traumatic Hang-Nail Syndrome) with the seriousness it deserves! It is at moments of crisis like this that a chap finds out who his true friends are.

blah, blah.

Helping with Colors..... the loveliest shade of green can be accomplished by eating black licorice...... ( be sure and warn parents before sending grandkids back home........) also blue food coloring in blue cake icing..... come through... as the same lovely shade of blue....... for cuticle scissors.... I suggest you do not eat them they do not digest well....... but perhaps could rust in your tummy.... leaving us with a lovely shade of ORANGE

For general information, 'Dearieme's' remark was a 'Test Message' at my request because he has had trouble getting through.

Renee, what can I say, apart from, er, whatever . . .

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