Er, well, actually, in the time honoured tradition of D&N that title is somewhat misleading because what I wanted to to tell you all is that there will be absolutely no election posts on this blog. Oh dear, even that isn't strictly accurate either because on the eve of election day I shall vouchsafe to you all my final and irrevocable decision (well, almost irrevocable because you can never be sure what last minute bribes the rascals might offer and several years in the second-hand car trade taught me the inestimable value of a really tasty back-hander - 'know wot I mean?') as to which way I intend to vote, if I vote at all. Apart from that I shall remain silent whilst the whole wretched, eye-stabbingly, screamingly tedious business plays itself out. I know it is an essential part of our democratic process in which we are supposed to partake with the joyful enthusiasm of those factory workers and peasants who featured in those old Soviet propoganda films before they were all liquidated, but the fact is that there is only so much one can take. The sight of 'Gordie Broon' pursing his wet lips into what he fondly thinks is a smile but which actually looks like a grimace as he rushes forward to shake the hand of some idiot Labour supporter - they dare not let him anywhere near anyone else - is simply too much to take repeated as it is, constantly, on 24-hour news. 'Dave' has all the authenticity of a nine-bob note as he rolls his sleeves up in a pathetic and doomed attempt to look and sound different from the Eton-educated public relations man that he so obviously is. As for the Morcombe & Wise duo of Clegg & Cable, all one can say is that at least the former were funny whilst the latter simply make you feel ill as they preach and prate about the dishonesty of the other parties whilst their own remains in receipt of stolen money!
So, D&N will remain an election-free zone for the next three weeks. In fact, my next post, which will appear as and when the little 'Memsahib' releases me from various duties outstanding because of our recent visitors, will be on a subject of vital, not to say, lip-smacking, interest to all of us - sex!
The Indy has a story about a chap who owned up to buggery of a horse and a donkey. Then: "Defence counsel Amar Mehta ...said: "The defendant does not have a stable address".
Beat that, Duffers.
Posted by: dearieme | Monday, 12 April 2010 at 14:47
Premature ejaculation, 'DM', I haven't yet written the post on sex, er, I have a headache!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 12 April 2010 at 16:13
At least make it somewhat instructional David, I've forgotten which arm I'm supposed to look under.
Posted by: JK | Monday, 12 April 2010 at 22:13
I would draw you a picture, 'JK', but I'm not sure I can remember - it's been a long time, you know!
Posted by: David Duff | Tuesday, 13 April 2010 at 09:11
Well then. I'll be looking forward to the next installment of D&N's
'A Very Important Erection Post' - no really!
(Where is the good Sis Wolf when I need her)?
Posted by: JK | Tuesday, 13 April 2010 at 09:45
Your eyesight's going, 'JK', take it easy!!
Posted by: David Duff | Tuesday, 13 April 2010 at 22:34