Humiliated - again!

Don't ask me how I know this to be true, but I do, deep down in my bones I know it is true that computers were invented solely to humiliate me.  Just the other day, as I told you in an earlier post, I had to re-design a PowerPoint presentation.  I had not touched PowerPoint for nearly two years and I was pleasantly surprised - well, actually I bored everyone silly boasting about it - to find that I had remembered how to use it.  So, in no time at all I had whipped up a complete presentation on the battle of Waterloo complete with moving formations, sound effects, the lot!  Well, nearly the lot, because one tiny little application escaped me.  I remembered that I had had trouble with it two years ago but I just could not remember how you made the damn thing stick.  I tried this, I clicked that, I double-clicked just about everything, all to no avail.  Eventually I rang the (long suffering) son of my oldest friend who earns his living designing web-sites.  I asked him how I could make this application stick and he replied - press enter!  I now know how Hitler felt when they told him the Russians were over the Vistula.  Unfortunately I couldn't chew the carpet because we have just had them cleaned at vast expense and the little 'Memsahib' would have cut up rough.

That was last week.  Today, yet more humiliation.  I opened up this morning to regale you all with the wit and wisdom of David Duff - only to find that half my buttons had disappeared on my 'compose' page including the font size button (and if I don't have it at 17 'Dearieme' gives me grief) and nor did I have my 'crossing out' button which is so useful for heavy-handed humour - my speciality, as you know.  Vituperative e-mails were sent hot-foot 'over there' whilst the language 'over here' was disturbing the neighbours.  Anyway, my temper rose as I hung around all day waiting for California to wake up but then through the ether came a sweet message from Zalary - yes, that's her name - and I just know she is blonde and leggy and filled with a kind and generous nature, as are all Californian girls (in my dreams!) because ever so gently she broke the news to me that I must have inadvertently clicked on the 'Light Text Editor' button.  Hitherto I had never even noticed this button but sure enough there it was and when I clicked on it it disappeared and normal service was resumed.  I sent Zalary a reply sympathising with the difficulty she must have in dealing with mental retards on a daily basis.  So humiliating!

Comments

[hank]

David

I'm sure she appriciates you.

In fact she would like you to call in more often. Job security is always nice.

[David Duff]

Don't worry, Hank, her job is safe so long as old idiots like me are around!