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Friday, 07 May 2010


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Hmmm. I know from past posts you were military. Too, I know you were a second hand car salesman who now creates Powerpoint presentations depicting 'ops and strats chats' for some unknown audience and now comes this,"Bullshit Baffles Braque", as we say in the art trade."

Might I ask, when you order your martinis - shaken or stirred?

I do hope you report directly to Her Majesty rather than ... well, any others that I can think of.

"Shaken or stirred"? Neither! Mine are made the day before to a tried and tested formula.

1: Take one large jug.
2: Fill almost to the top with gin.
3: Take up bottle of Noilly Prat.
4: Whilst looking away in the opposite direction aim a quick splash in the general direction of the jug of gin.
5: Place in freezer for 24 hours.
6: Drink contents with a sliver of lemon peel.
7: Make pass at wife's best friend.
8: Tell her husband he's a vintage dickhead.
9: Explain at great length the political situation in South East Asia.
10: Fall over.

It's called the Ten-Step Plan - and I wouldn't dream of reporting to anyone other than Her Maj - God bless her and all who sail in her and where's my glass gone ...?

where did you go to school?

Muhamed, sometimes I wonder if I ever went to school. I suppose the fact that it was 60-odd years ago is a slight mitigation. Anyway, that'll be a hundred lines, I assume!

By the way, that is a beautiful photograph at the top of your site - where is it?

I am glad you added that, "So far."

In the words of Richard Feigen, an art dealer with galleries in New York and Chicago, "My guess is people will feel this is a very safe place, if not a dynamic place, to park $30 million more or less."

Alas, the 'art' market is shaggiest shaggy dog story ever told!

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