I was struck by the clever idea of the Greek government to flog off some of their Mediterranean islands as a means of raising money. Of course, you would have to be a right mug to buy one, I mean, would you even buy a used-car from the Greek government? However, it nudged me into thinking that perhaps 'Dave 'n' George' could apply the idea over here. I tried to think of what I would happily sell off and instantly I thought of Liverpool! Such bliss to be parted from those whining, self-pitying, nasally-blocked oafs and oafettes. However, then I thought it would be chance to actually earn some dosh from all those Celts instead of constantly paying for them and getting nothing but abuse for my troubles. Then, when you think about, who really needs the north of England, when its not full of 'scousers' its full of 'Yorkies' - and - now I've got going, I would actually give Birmingham and its 'Brummies' away for nothing. I think I would probably hang on to East Anglia even if it is flat and terminally boring, and even if the people who live there do have the unfortunate characteristic of looking suspiciously like each other. I would use it as my Siberia in which I would dump all my opponents for, er, re-education. I would have to hang on to the south-east because I just know those Frogs would try and send all their unwanted immigrants through that wretched tunnel. However that would leave London and the God's little acres in the south-west around which I would build electrified fences and machine-gun posts . . .
Oh God, I think this heat is getting to me, I'll just go back to the darkened bedroom and have a little rest . . .
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