Heavens to Betsy, who'da thunk it?

Well, I 'thunked' it some time ago and have never stopped repeating it, here, at D&N; so here goes again for the umpteenth time: the Crown non-Prosecution dis-Service is not fit for purpose because it takes too many guilty pleas to lesser crimes in order to gain easy verdicts and thus tick boxes and win kudos in Whitehall.  I am delighted to say that the Chief Inspector of the CPS agrees with me, according to a report in The Sunday Times which, of course, lurks behind a pay-wall these days with its 7 readers one of whom is probably 'Rupe', himself!  Nationally, anywhere from 10% to 20% of offences are wrongfully pursued on lesser charges, and if you are unlucky enough to live in Nottinghamshire 19%, in Brent 15% and in South Wales 17%, are the specific numbers.  I remember complaining about the ridiculous charges brought against a baker in South Wales who bumped off some child with his rotten, unhygenic bread and got away with pleading guilty to illegal parking, or some such equally piffling misdemeanor.

But stay!  Here is a man who denies it all.  Step forward, Mr. Keith Starmer, who told the world last year that he was unaware of any evidence of under-charging.  Who is Mr. Starmer, you ask with but a single voice?  Why, the Director of Public Prosecutions, no less, and I repeat, he claimed to be unaware of what was going on in his own department which his outside inspector instantly spotted.  What does this tell us about Mr. Starmer - apart from the obvious fact that he should have gone to Spec-Savers?  Well, a neutral, judicious, fair-minded man might come to the conclusion that Mr. Starmer is not fit for purpose, that he is, on the whole, by and large and taken in the round, a complete prat who cannot see beyond the no doubt enormous desk behind which he hides in Whitehall whilst he counts the ticks in the boxes sent to him by his equally useless minions.

To be fair, and regular readers will know of the very high standards of fairness we strive for, here at D&N, the report did find a very high level of performance by specialist CPS units dealing with organised crime and terrorism.  Not that it helps you when your house is burgled, your treasured possesions stolen and the thieves defecate all over your furniture and when caught are charged with a misdemeanour in return for pleading guilty to several hundred burglaries, and then come up in front of the likes of Judge Christopher 'Cocklecarrot' Ball who will tell them they are very, very naughty boys but he will not send them to prison if they promise, scouts' honour, not to do it again.

Some-one pass the sick bag . . .

 

Comments

[DSD]

Offtopic, but I think you might appreciate this somewhat if you haven't seen it already Mr.Duff...

http://www.theospark.net/2010/08/first-world-war-explained-as-pub-fight.html

PS About to start on Paice's 'Tip And Run' on the Africa campaign in WW1. Review will follow...

[David Duff]

Excellent, 'DSD', I particularly liked this sly, dry one:

"Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone."

Also, I just skim-read a review of a book in one of the Sundays concerned with the Kaiser's activities in Africa with their nascent racism (in the correct meaning of that abused word). I confess my almost complete ignorance on the whole matter. Let me know indue course.

[JK]

Yes. Excellent 'DSD' because the line "America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself" reminded me of something PJ O'Rourke wrote concerning HillBilly's 90's adventure in the Balkans.

"Better stop that genocide or we'll wait two years then bomb the country next to you."

(Yes yes, I realize DD - when you use 'HillBilly' you're usually meaning the wife. However there's that old Arkie joke, 'If Bill and Hillary get a divorce would they still be cousins?' So you see "HillBilly" is actually interchangeable.)