Mr. Bean or 'Red Ed'? Do I care?

And so, finally, at long last, the most intensely tedious, eye-stabbingly boring, inconsequential election campaign limps into its final lap.  It has been a bit like watching the last runner in the London marathon!  For me, the most interesting outcome will be the exact magnitude of humiliation which will be excreted over, and then shared between, the fat, black hypocrite and old 'Blinky' Balls.  Both of them deserve bucketfulls! 

After that, I suppose, one must contemplate the winner who, it appears, will be either Miliband D., or E.  Contemplation of that results in the spread of a veritable tundra of frozen indifference although I must admit, perhaps, that it may be due to my ignorance on the exact philosophical differences (stop giggling at the back!) between these two scions of a spectactularly dim-witted Marxist dad - who, I read, is buried in Highgate close to Karl Marx.  They deserve each other!  I gather that because of the election 'Red Ed' has moved to the Left with all the subtlety of one of those massive oil tankers turning to port, and thus leaves us all, well, me, at any rate, with the distinct suspicion that he will almost certainly move back to the Right when the moment suits.  'Mr. Bean', his brother, having trodden in huge amounts of Brown stuff, finds it more difficult to shake off his past 'crimes and misdemeanors' and needs must defend some of them. 

Even so, I feel I must attempt an opinion if only to appease the curiosity of my first reader, and the mirth of my second, two being the probable maximum here at D&N.  My first thought was an intense desire for 'Red Ed' to win on the grounds that it would make Labour unelectable for over a decade.  But, I thought next with all the guile of my Machiavellian brain, there has to be more than a good chance that the pathetic pair of prats who are sharing the leadership of my country today are likely to make such a complete cods of it that it might give Labour a chance to get back in - dread thought!  Even if 'Red Ed' turns out to be 'Pink Ed', do I want a prime minister who actually believes in things like AGW?  (Ooops, I've just remembered, I already have one!)  Anyway, if the unions and the markets between them, bring down the 'CamClegg' edifice then I think, on the whole, that 'Mr. Bean' would be preferable to 'Red Ed', and if that reads as an under-whelming endorsement, it's because it was meant to be!  The fact is that in exactly the same way that it was impossible to put a fag paper between Blair and Cameron, so it is with Cameron and 'Mr. Bean', so I doubt I will notice much difference.

In the meantime, there is some gallows humour to be enjoyed watching the 'Ultras' in the Labour party as they scrabble about, lost, confused, angry and squabbling, without a single candidate who comes anywhere near their dotty aspirations.  Such fun!

 

Comments

[dearieme]

Enough about this tripe, Duffers. Would you like to hear a bit of your favourite jazz pianist behind a wunnerful guitarist?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-9OrHd6QdM&feature=player_embedded

Hat tip: the Volokh Conspiracy.

[David Duff]

Thanks, 'DM', the perfect way to start the day.